Planning and Maintaining Routines, sigh.
Wednesday, November 04, 2015
I'm in a good mood as I type this. I got through Halloween in pretty good shape. A homemade carrot cake loomed large over my weekend, but I have been pleased to discover that the store-bought candy does not have a great deal of appeal. I'm doing the 21 day sugar challenge right now, working on cravings &c--I have a way to go, clearly.
Planning is *very* hard for me. A strong strain of ADHD behaviors runs in my family. I have a niece on the autism spectrum. I am definitely one of those adults who has learned a lot about myself, watching my niece undergo testing and analysis. The past two years have been humbling for me, as I have understood some of my childhood behaviors in this new context. I have been a high achiever in my life, and my internal mental image is shaped by that. But... I can newly see areas where my internal image does not reflect my external image, and not in a way that makes me proud. I have a really, really hard time planning. I have a really, really hard time developing, and keeping to, routines. These two issues--in the past couple of years, particularly, with my many responsibilities pulling me in many different directions--these two issues, poor planning and poor maintenance of routines, have impacted my life in negative ways.
But one thing I can be proud of: I *still* have my internal reset button, my internal compass. I'm not embarrassed to start fresh, be a beginner, to put myself back on track. It *is* boring, going through the same old cycle: recognizing my 'failures,' picking up the pieces, getting back on track again. But I've got the doggedness to be able to do it.
Eh--now, if only I could figure out how to set up the fit-bit someone just gifted me... then my day would be headed forward brighter, instead of all this time waster technological tangle!