I will come right out with it, yesterday sucked. If there were awards for sucky days, it would have won by a straight mile. The boys were ill and cranky; Chris was busy with his business, and needed my help; the simple act of sweeping my front path turned into a monumental autumnal clean up; followed by three hours of heavy duty cleaning. All I wanted to do was work on my website and have a quiet and calm day.
However, life isn't always like that. So while stood at the kitchen sink yesterday afternoon, mainly fuelled by exhaustion and self doubt. I wondered who had hidden my glittery wand of positivity, and replaced it with the need to sit down with a cup of tea and tin of Bourbon biscuits (my poison of choice during those less than wonderful days). I thought long and hard about the biscuits, decided against them (trust me it was a close run thing).
Why is it easier to be empathetic to others rather than ourselves? So I made a choice, I let all of those negative emotions out into the Universe. I cranked up my iPod and danced myself silly; this was followed by beating the rug and plumping and thumping pillows. The other members of the household were initially aghast (and possibly scared) at the sight of me. My hair wrapped up in a cobweb covered vintage scarf (the good news I didn't have rollers in); my heavy duty, bleach stained apron; rubber gloves; face mask (dust allergy). Listening to Slipknot on my iPod (please don't judge me on my musical taste, seriously Slipknot was the only way to go yesterday). After an hour or so of this madness, I felt much better; in that hour, I realised that it is ok not to sweep these feelings under the now dust free rug, the act of acknowledgement reframed my emotions.
1. The good news is I didn't sit down with the biscuit tin, but if I had it would have been a mistake but not the end of the world. I wouldn't have abandoned my lifestyle changes over a single mistake. Some days you need to be kinder to yourself
2. I got LOTS of extra exercise; sometimes all of that emotion needs to be worked off.
3. Positive and negative emotions are two sides of the same coin, pretending everything is ok when it blatantly not, is as harmful to live constantly with negative emotions.
4. Finally, I showed myself a little tenderness. After the boys had settled, I lay down on the sofa with my favourite snuggly things, a mug of cocoa, breathed deeply and reset my calm button. I discovered that my glittery wand of positivity had just slipped down the back of the sofa. Seriously is there nothing that can't be improved by glitter?
So with my wand in hand I embark on a new day, my positivity has returned to deal with todays set of challenges both good and bad. The good news is that the 'Tuesday Tidy Up,' was over on done with on Monday. So today I will be able to work on my website, exercise to my hearts content, make good choices, treat myself with both care and compassion. I have a feeling I will NOT listen to Slipknot today.
I hope that you treat yourselves to a little tenderness this Tuesday!