Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Usually, when I fall silent on Spark it is because I am having a bad streak, eating compulsively and gaining weight.
This time it has been the opposite. My situation in august was desperate. I had not managed to lose any weight during vacation and started my autumn fatter than ever before, my scale could not register so I did not know how catastrophal it might be.
Desperate situation demands desperate actions... I went to an information meeting for a health club at one of the indoor swimmingpool/gyms I visit. This is called Itrim and wants you to start by starving for 12 weeks... I listened and read the research reports they claimed and signed up for two years. For an awful lot of money I am getting coaching and workshops and of course membership at both gym and swimming facilities.
The startup twelve weeks has not passed entirely yet - I fell off with a thump after three weeks - the system is that the first three weeks I am supposed to eat 600 cal/day and then it is 800/day for the remaining nine weeks. I did the three weeks almost without mistakes although I decided that I did not want to eat there artificial stuff so I made my own soups. Lost eight kilos. Since then I have bee on and off all the time, have lost another seven kilos and am trying to enjoy the experiences I am getting. There are very few days I manage to eat only 800 kcal, mostly I end up 1600-1900 which is enough to lose weight with for a person as fat as me.
My focus is to incorporate the fact that I will never be perfect, I will always slip and slide with stuff and have to try again... the thing is to keep on trying. To attend every workshop that is possible, to do the "homework" they give us, to participate.
I have another aim to - not to be as obedient I usually try to be when I enter a program. This time I will respect my own experience as well - which feels a little silly as it has not taken me where I want to go but none of my "diets" has done that either when I have tried to do exactly as I have been told.
I signed up for two years, if I had succeeded I would have lost all the overweight in one and then spent the second in trying to find maintenance. As I do not succeed as well as I had wished it will not be as planned... but however the result I will regard myself as a HUGE success if I continue trying for both years!
And for the first time losing that initial weight made a huge difference. I hav lost up to 20 kilos before in my life, the effect has been mainly cosmetical - being able to wear smaller clothes and maybe felt more energy. This time the main difference is in my well being. In august I sat in my car and looked at the entrance at my workplace and thought "how will I be able to walk all that way..." I dreaded stairs, I coul dnot walk the dog in the woods longer than for ten-fifteen minutes, my feet was giving me a really hard time. I could bike with the dog and I could swim.
Now it is a lot easier to move, I have taken up hula hooping although the weather is a hurdle, I need to make space inside for hooping when winter arrives.
To quote another spark member -onwards, upwards!