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Too fat for a desk & a snob on the same day....but that's okay because....

Saturday, September 26, 2015

So, I reached that dreaded point where there was just no way I would fit into a desk. Even the tall students complain about them. It's so embarrassing to not just be able to sit wherever you want. It's also awful to try to choose your classes based off of which classes have tables and chairs but I didn't do that this year

It's not just from bad eating habits. Thyroid issues play into it. For those of you that don't know, 5 years ago, I began feeling unwell. Lots of hypothyroid symptoms. I was eating healthier than ever but so exhausted to the point of falling Sleep for hours at a time and a consequence of that was not moving around much. I gained a whole lot of weight rapidly and not 20 lbs. way more! Finally, received the diagnoses a year and a half later along with another endocrine issue! Before that, I was overweight ( the first endocrine issue I had at 10 but wasn't dx until 22) I could fit into any desk I wanted. It wasn't until trying different meds that desks were not an option anymore.

I've written about it in blogs numerous times so I won't bore you with all of the details. If you suspect a thyroid issue, spark mail me and ask whatever questions you have. :)

Now that I've bored you with some details, I'll just let you know in 2 classes I found tables to sit at but its still embarrassing:/ Nobody was rude or seemed judgmental and that helps.

When I got to my first class, I sat down in the back between 2 girls. Then one girl got up right away, mumbled something about not wanting to sit there and went and sat on the other side of the room instead. This is the second time this happened to me. I have good hygiene. I was wearing deodorant, My breath was fresh. I sit in the back close to a door due to anxiety so if I need to get up and get away for a few minutes, then it won't be an issue or a distraction.

Maybe she moved for a different reason but as a person who has not always fit in and still doesn't (and I'm not just talking about in a desk!), it does hurt a little. That has even happened in my past in 7th grade. Four desks would be grouped together and I would sit at one but nobody would sit at the other three. :( Someone on this site once suggested that maybe I was giving off bad vibes. That is so offensive. You get bad vibes from someone who is walking down your street at 2 AM or by driving through a shady neighborhood.

See, I won't pretend to be anybody I'm not, I'm not going to waste energy putting on a facade just to not be lonely.

It's okay that that girl was a snob ( I really believe she didn't move for any other reason), I met a different girl who was from a different culture and multilingual. Way more interesting. emoticon

And as for the desks, All I can do is work on that. I can't shrink myself overnight. We allll wish. Lol. You know it's true! emoticon

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Keep knowing & being your true self. I understand how others actions can hurt ... I've also felt I didn't fit in. Try to let the hurt go; they are the ones with problems.

    You've faced & are overcoming many challenges in your life. You're strong, so you can do this. emoticon
    Wishing you success in reaching all your goals.
    2092 days ago
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    Unfortunately, there will always be situations similar to those you've experienced. Maybe bringing the situation with the chairs and tables to someone of influence at your school may help alleviate or eliminate the problem.

    As for the insensitivity and rudeness of others ... it's THEIR problem and obviously something they need a lot of work on. As long as we value ourselves and know who we are... that's all that matters.

    Mahalo for stopping by with encouragement and positivity. Have a healthy and fun weekend.

    2092 days ago
    Oh the dreaded snub. Haven't we all experienced them. It hurts even if we try not to let it. But like you said, we meet more interesting and happy people when those negative Nellies move away from us. I try to consider it as a good thing. If they move away from me in an instant, I did not need to waste time discovering they are not very nice people. It immediately opens up a seat (or space in my life) for more interesting lovely people. That's my adult conversation.

    *sits right next to you* *leans over and whispers*

    They're poop-heads. That's my inner child conversation.
    2092 days ago
    You do what you can and don't let those types get you down. It's their loss!
    2092 days ago
    You got this! Just take it one day at a time ;).
    2092 days ago
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