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What Regain Does To You...

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Saturday, August 01, 2015


So what regain does to you physically is the obvious part. emoticon It can make you feel bloated, heavier, uncomfortable.... It can make your clothes fit tighter (or make you go up a size), it can mess with your health... and it is just an all around unpleasant experience.

I am dealing with the physical right now... the tight pants (my work pants are not happy)... I feel truly heavy and uncomfortable. It's crazy because I weighed 70 pounds more than I do now only a few years ago... and I don't remember feeling THIS uncomfortable. I guarantee I was even more uncomfortable, but as time went on I have sort of forgotten what it feels like. I may have to go back and read some of my older blogs so I can remember more vividly. But I also know back then I had nothing to compare it to. Now that I have been 20 pounds smaller than I am now, this 20 pounds feels like a lot more. It is weighing me down physically... but also mentally.

Yep, messing with us mentally is the not so obvious way regain can screw us up. The regain is really getting me down and defeated. Mentally I am feeling like such a failure. How did I let this happen? I ate poorly yet again... yes I don't enjoy reporting my failures, but lying doesn't get me anywhere either. emoticon I just feel like I have lost the ability to lose weight. Logically, I know that's a load of bull. emoticon I know exactly how to lose it, I know I can, I know that I WANT it, but this regain is really starting to mess with me. I have to figure out more of what is holding me back and why I am so scared of change.

Chatting with a good Spark friend... scratch that, a good FRIEND period, Lynn (Lynn-LovesLife7)... and she always makes me think. Just by talking and sharing she makes me think and I started to realize more of what is holding me back.

emoticon I'm afraid of not being fat. Counterproductive since I hate being fat... but I've always been fat, it's all that I know! I don't know how to be unfat!

emoticon I don't know realistically how far I can get. My lowest was 181 for two seconds, 184 for a week... I don't know if I'm capable of being in the 160's. Physically, I know I can get there, mentally is another story.

emoticon What if I get to my goal and am still not comfortable in my body? Yes I will get my tummy fixed, because the apron has to go... but what if I'm still not comfortable? I don't mind the vanity part, the jiggly arms, thighs, whatever. But what if I'm just not comfortable in this skin/body I have?

emoticon Will I be able to keep it off? I haven't been able to fail at maintenance because I haven't gotten to that point yet. I did good keeping it to a 10 pound regain for almost 2 years, but now it's crept up to 20... what if that happens after my tummy tuck? emoticon

The regain is really making me doubt everything, but I know I can't let the regain win. The regain will just pile on top of itself until I'm at an all new starting weight if I don't take action. I had never been of those "new month, new start" kinds of people... but maybe for August I am one of those people. Maybe I will just put one foot in front of the other, one day, one step at a time and see what happens. If I'm actively trying, things can only go up from here, (and the scale down!) emoticon

Quick edit: I know some of you will answer this blog with "What are you going to do to fix it?" or something similar so in an effort to start off August on the right foot... Sparky got a short walk already! emoticon My food is packed for work, and I have my smoothie ready to be blended in the morning so it's fool proof. Preparation is key! emoticon

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo INCH_BY_INCH
    emoticon Going through a similar struggle too. emoticon emoticon
    1975 days ago
  • no profile photo GRAMPIAN
    Yes, you CAN do it. emoticon
    2029 days ago
  • PLATINUM755
    Niiice!
    2119 days ago
  • KMRJPR
    Wonderful blog!
    2126 days ago
  • SIZE8NOTSOMUCH
    Hey Steph.... I am hoping you are turning around that dance and doing the things for YOU that will work. Yes preparation is KEY... YOU can do anything YOU want to, just remember YOU are in charge of YOUr destiny!!!

    J
    2134 days ago
  • MOONGLOWSNANA
    You are not alone... move over... it's getting crowded here... oops, sorry, excuse me, just trying to find some space, gotta make some changes, and get back to where I was.

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    2135 days ago
  • WALDEN9
    In any program that you are involved in there are times that you have to either take one day at a time or one moment at a time or even one second at a time. Yes we have our days like many during the holidays, but we can get right back up. God did not give up on us, so we should not give up on ourselves. Some people say doing food journals help. What I have learned recently was, oatmeal for breakfast, the main meal for lunch and a light salad for supper helps. I also have problems losing weight. I have 15 pounds until my goal weight, but they say the last 10 pounds are hard to lose. I have tried different diets until I just got fed up. I finally decided to join a weight loss group in my town, which helped a lot especially when we did contests. Sugar is my biggest problem once again. Avoiding cakes and ice cream and candy is the main thing that is necessary for weight loss. I myself do not get much exercise either, but when I do it is usually walking. do not give up. always remember and never forget, it is not how big or little you are, it is the love you have for yourself and others. emoticon
    2136 days ago
  • SHANTRA7
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    2145 days ago
  • _CYNDY55_
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    2145 days ago
  • LIZ324_NYC
    Awesome blog! You just put in writing everything that has been going on with me. I regained 20 pounds over the last 7-8 months. I feel so disappointed in myself.
    But you are right it's all mental.
    Thanks for sharing! This helped a lot!! emoticon

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    2146 days ago
  • BONTAZZIE
    Wow this is so me at the moment. Recently I have gained weight I have lost. Reading this it good t know I'm not alone with my weight issues. My biggest issue is the mental issues of how I think about myself. I know what to do to get results but sometimes the negative self talk takes over. I am determined to beat this one step at a time. Thanks for posting and inspiring me.

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    2146 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/8/2015 11:45:39 PM
  • 147HEALTH
    The blog and all the comments are such a big help to me and others by not having to go this alone. I just began again on Monday after trying to live with my regain of 55 + 20 lbs for 3 years now. I went on a wonderful cruise with my husband and can't even look at the pictures of the large woman standing next to him. How did I not see it in the mirror?

    I saw a piece of clothing today that I admired but decided not to buy it because I don't want to have to wear that size when it comes in season couple of months from now. I have my own closet to shop in as I do Sparkpeople minute-by-minute, day-by-day.

    Lets circle, hands in, and GO!!!! emoticon emoticon
    2146 days ago
  • ATRAILHIKERJO54
    sorry your journey is not what you expected

    cliches -- live in the present not the past - weight gain-- start from there not when you were 20 lbs lighter
    -- be prepared or be prepared to fail ---looks like you are taking care of that.

    When you stop losing consider this a maintenance level ... try to just maintain and get comfortable with yourself
    When you are ready go back to the math.. 3500 calories equals one pound loss..

    I know I am not much help ... glad you have someone to talk to --that is always good



    2146 days ago
  • PATTYR81
    We are living parallel weight-loss journeys! In 2012 I had gastric bypass surgery and lost 112 lbs. emoticon Health issues gone, sporting size 10 butt-hugger pants/shorts and enjoying life at 184. Dad got sick and passed, resorted to 'old' coping habits and presto: gained back 18 lbs! emoticon

    I too, feel all those icky feelings and can't seem to get past 197. Seems like I hit that number and those old habits come back despite my best intentions. Floating between 197-203 for MONTHS! emoticon

    I KNOW it's something mental/emotional going on here, I just gotta dig it out and get back to my program!

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    2147 days ago
  • SIXLESTER69
    Thank you for sharing. I recently suffered a regain myself.I never gave the "why" much thought but i can see myself in a lot of your points.
    2147 days ago
  • JUNEAU2010
    You voiced a lot of thoughts that have yet to crystalize in my head.
    emoticon for sharing!
    2147 days ago
  • MAYIE53
    So many helpful, supportive comments . . . what can I add? Not sure, except you are absolutely right about the emotional set-back as a result of re-gains. I'm not there at this particular moment but I have been and I think those nasty negative voices in our head are the biggest stumbling block to our continuing on the journey to better health and happiness. You so deserve it! Try and tune out those negative messages and just focus on all the positive things you have done thus far. emoticon emoticon
    2147 days ago
  • GWENALYN
    Thank you for this post. I'm just starting to see a re-gain - just 5 pounds at this point but your blog gave a new perspective on getting back where I need to be (and want to be) before I gain back more.

    You can do it !
    2148 days ago
  • QUAIL75
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    2148 days ago
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    2149 days ago
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    2149 days ago
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    2149 days ago
  • no profile photo SHARONCAPPS
    You sound like you know what you need to do and have already started to do it. Good job and you can do it. Keep up the good work.
    2150 days ago
  • DIANNEMT
    Regain happens. Then we take a big breath and start over--doing the right things. If you really don't know how to deal with a new you, do you have insurance that would cover a therapist for a few sessions? May help!
    2150 days ago
  • CFMOSS
    Ah....if only we/I were perfect and didn't second guess and experience self-doubt and didn't end up in the pickle of weight issues that we/I can find. I haven't found it easier....I still look at my body and think my legs are the torps of 7th grade instead of being thankful for the sturdy legs which allow me to do the amazing things I do. Here's to finding a way to continue on your journey...because you will in the direction you need/want to go in the NOW....you know what you need to do to achieve what you want to achieve (if of course you can clarify what that is that you want to achieve in the NOW). Take a look at some of your past blogs when you have experienced success...because you have and you have inspired others in the process. Here's to doing that.
    2150 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3113429
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    2150 days ago
  • JUNA89
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    2150 days ago
  • BLUEJAY1961
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    2150 days ago
  • QUARTERMASTER3
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    2151 days ago
  • MARYM1962
    it is hard, but only you can make the decision to do something about - have faith in yourself
    2151 days ago
  • GREYLOVER31
    This was such a timely blog for me. I was at my goal and then some a couple years ago. Next thing you know....BLAM....pants are getting tight and the muffin top is back with a vengence emoticon . I thought when I hit my goal, the way I felt about myself would be different...guess what, apparently not. It did feel good to have people notice the change but it wasn't enough to keep me there now was it? I am also doing the one day at a time, one decision at a time thing. Yesterday, I was at the Y, started walking the track and had a mental breakdown. I had to take it to the outside track to let myself go but guess what, I continued to walk when it could have been easier to just pack it in and go home. One good decision will spark a bunch more...I'm hopeful. You should be too! You have done so well and will do what you can again. emoticon
    2151 days ago
  • WINTERRAIN
    I know how you feel...looks like you are headed in the right direction emoticon
    2151 days ago
  • ASCHU2
    Losing my 29-lb regain is such.hard.work. We can do it! Slow and steady so it stays gone!!
    2151 days ago
  • CAT609
    I did the same thing! We can do this!!!!
    2151 days ago
  • MITCHSTA1232
    I feel your pain! Lost 50 pounds after my daughter was born and put it all plus back on. I'm making progress again though! emoticon emoticon
    2151 days ago
  • GLENDABUNNY
    Have been through this exact thing multiple times. You described so many of my own issues & thoughts. I'm tired of the yoyo game! So let's do this one step at a time, together.
    2151 days ago
  • no profile photo 1HOTFUDGEMAMA
    just take it step by step.
    2151 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15632271
    I so sympathize, empathize with you ! My situation exactly !

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    2151 days ago
  • ELSCO55
    Thanks for this. I am so there. Love the cat!
    2151 days ago
  • SARAHSTORY23
    Glad I read this because I have also recently realized I'm afraid to not be fat, and I simultaneously thought, "Ok, that's just crazy." I feel better that I'm not alone.
    2151 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13939073
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    2151 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13427449
    Keep the faith
    2151 days ago
  • CATE195
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    2151 days ago
  • 1DAY-ATA-TIME
    Been there--done that--got the xxl size t-shirts. We can always get back on the wagon because SparkPeople and Spark friends are there for us.

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    2151 days ago
  • UPTOIT59
    I too have regained some of the weight I lost and you are singing my song: tight clothing, feeling sad and defeated.
    I intend to lose the weight and don't know exactly how.
    Hang in there!
    2152 days ago
  • BUTTAMA
    hi - your post struck a chord with me. The biggest thing is this - yes you've regained a bit, but as of right now, you are down a net of 50 pounds! that's amazing! As you start again, think about it from the perspective of what you have accomplished, not what you've regained, and also, as a valuable learning for yourself. I was in the exact same boat. I'd lost about 65-70 pounds and kept it off for 5+ years but then about 20 came back this past year when i entered graduate school and i felt like i was spiraling out of control after years of being under control. But i reminded myself how much healthier i still am than those earlier days, and it's motivated me to get back down again (still have about 10 to go).

    You CAN do this, and congrats on your overall success so far!
    2152 days ago
  • SHERRYBOOBEAR
    Thank you. :-)
    2152 days ago
  • DICESARES
    Thank you for the great post...it could not have come at a better time for me! I am almost 20 pounds back up from where I was last year. This part REALLY resonates with me:
    "I don't know realistically how far I can get. My lowest was 181 for two seconds, 184 for a week... I don't know if I'm capable of being in the 160's. Physically, I know I can get there, mentally is another story."

    165 for 2 seconds, & 170 for a week. I felt so good! How the hell did I put that back on? My past goal of 130 is like a pipe dream now...I just want to get back to that 165!

    Thank you for making me realize that I am not the only one. Sometimes with work, kids, family, & fun...you lose sight of what's really important to you. This is important to me....August is a new month! We got this girl! emoticon
    2152 days ago
  • no profile photo HIGHNOON
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    2152 days ago
  • HNORDQUIST
    You are truly an inspiration and I am sure you will LOVE the new you. Keep going! We've all been there.
    2152 days ago
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