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It's Never Too Late For A Fresh Start..

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Thursday, July 30, 2015

I used to think a fresh start in weight loss only happened after you have undone all of your hard work. Yes, each day is a new chance to get it right... but sometimes you are so far down the rabbit hole you can't seem to do anything right. I have seen people on this journey (on spark and in real life) lose a bunch of weight only to gain it all back... and it truly is heartbreaking. Some people can not understand how someone can lose so much weight, feel so great, become so healthy and let it all slip away. But I can definitely say that I completely understand it. In fact, I would venture to say that could have very easily been me.

I have said this a bunch of times, but it's still true, I lost 40 pounds 3 times to gain it all back plus more. On this particular journey I have been down as far as 90 pounds down, and I sitting here currently 20 pounds up from my lowest (23 if we count my super low mini moment). I vowed to NEVER go back to Twoterville after leaving it for Onederland in 2013. I got to the boarder a bunch of times before turning it back around. But this time I kept going past the boarder... I was 202, and Wednesday I saw 204. That is the moment it hit me. emoticon THIS is how people gain back all their weight.

They don't gain back, 40, 50, 100 pounds overnight. Of course not... but it is a gradual decline. With each pound gained, tighter pants, uncomfortableness, the sense of defeat really starts to get to you. That nagging voice in your head that likes to be negative whispers "I knew you couldn't keep the weight off". The more the weight creeps up, the more you start to believe that nasty voice. The more you start to realize that maybe you are just destined to be fat and are fighting a losing battle.

I can totally understand how 20 pounds regained can turn into 50. I had gained back 10 pounds a couple times and always got them back off. Then this time I gained back 15, okay 15 isn't great but I will fix it... well 204 marks 20 pounds of regain. Yep, the big 2-0! Let's just say that was enough to put the fear in me. I am currently sitting at a crossroads, I truly feel it in my heart. I am at that moment where I either throw in the towel, and admit defeat... and let my weight reach an all time high... Or I get feisty, I put on the big girl panties, and I get this weight off!

I have often said I do not have the strength in me to lose 70, 80, or 90 pounds again. I do not have the strength or perseverance to do this journey from scratch. It has been done by others, who have lost that weight a 2nd, 3rd or even 4th time, and for that I commend them. But for me it was such a fight to do it the first time, that I don't ever think I could do it again. The only way I can make sure I don't have to do it again is to not let it get to that point.

Wednesday was day 1 of Volume 2 of my journey. Was it perfect? No, but I went back to the basics. I tracked everything, avoided fast food, and got my water in. That was good enough. Mentally it feels as though I am starting over... I feel defeated, I feel fat, I feel unhealthy, achy and I feel like I've lost a tiny bit of confidence in terms of my ability to lose this weight. I know how to do this, and I've been doing it over 3 years, but there is that doubt in my mind. That negativity creeps up as the scale does, and as the scale goes down the voice will get quieter as well.

So if you are fighting regain, 5, 10, 50, 100+ pounds, or if you've regained everything and some extra, it is never too late for a fresh start. Wherever you are at, you can stop the gain now, and get things going in the right direction. I'm ready. Wednesday was day 1 of Volume 2, but Thursday marks day 1 of my 21 day Sugar Detox. I'm aiming for a 30 day sugar detox (and beyond), and maybe this time I'll get it right. But as long as I am putting one foot in front of the other and working to get out of Twoterville, then I am happy. I will lose the 20 pounds I have gained, and then I will work on getting to 165ish! I am ready to fight the good fight. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • GRACED777
    I say I won't regain, but then the scale starts creeping up, I get discouraged and motivation goes out the window. The only way to get back toward my sweet spot is to take baby steps in as many areas as I can till I feel it. Then as I gain motivation, I can take more steps...
    2150 days ago
  • AMYG5025
    You are doing a great job of staying positive and recommitting. You can do it! emoticon emoticon
    2150 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    2152 days ago
  • no profile photo JSEATTLE
    So glad to find you again. Sounds like a great start for you!
    2152 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon together.
    2152 days ago
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    2153 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    Thank you for sharing! emoticon I've recycled weight too! It's part of the majority's journey.
    2155 days ago
    Well said! Thanks for sharing. It is easy to see how it happens. It does get to you, the more weight that comes back on, the more it weighs on your mind as well. Good for you for heeding that new wakeup call for yourself. You know you have it in you to continue and keep going. You have proven that to yourself many times. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2155 days ago

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Sometimes I feel as if
    EVERY day
    I am starting over
    Usually after having had
    a TERRIBLE day

    BUT, actually
    what's wrong with that?
    EVERY day IS a NEW day

    Don't know if you're religious,
    but here is a Bible verse
    I love: Philippians 3:13
    Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.

    Yesterday's failures do not matter.
    Today is a new day to have a better one!

    emoticon emoticon

    Have a Fabulous Friday
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Peace, Love and Blessings!

    2155 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/30/2015 9:22:22 PM
    You are going to do just fine!! Hang in there and DO NOT GIVE UP!!
    2155 days ago
    One day at a time, just one day at a time. emoticon
    2155 days ago
    emoticon I'm right with you! You are NOT alone! And, it seems, WE are not alone, from reading other people's posts. Let's keep this momentum going, one day at a time. emoticon
    2155 days ago
  • DLITE719
    Keep a positive attitude. emoticon
    2155 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10895053
    emoticon I know that some days I don't keep tracking because I know in my mind that I'm over my limit. But we can always start afresh the next day. Yes we can and we will do it!! emoticon
    2155 days ago
    You can do it!! I often find myself fearful that I will gain the weight back because I watched my mother do it. However I will keep it off.
    2155 days ago
    Good luck. emoticon and you will do it. emoticon emoticon Thank you for sharing.
    2155 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14034154

    It is hard when you lose and regain more than you slot, as I did it for YEARS! It's very disheartening and you wondered if I would ever really lose the weight. Now that I'm within 10 lbs. of goal, I keep losing and regaining the same 10 lbs. and I've become frustrated. However, after reading your blog, I will still COTINUE to fight the good fight! Thanks!


    - Nancy Jean -
    2155 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13636475
    emoticon emoticon I am in that same category of regaining.... I've regained 37 pounds from my ultimate lowest. I have been struggling this whole year on getting back to where I was January 2014. I am determined not to gain all of my lost weight. I am joining you on your journey! emoticon
    2156 days ago
  • no profile photo INCH_BY_INCH
    emoticon emoticon Back to losing category. Please do not forward it back after I lose the pounds.
    2156 days ago
    I've had a fresh start several times on this journey. Sometimes, you just have to put all of the past behind you and come at it like a newbie. emoticon
    2156 days ago
    Go, Grrl!
    2156 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    emoticon blog!

    2156 days ago
    all the best loved your blog
    2156 days ago
    New beginnings can be exciting. A new chance to get it right! You'll be aware of the rocks in the road and the twists and turns on the path. Hopping and skipping might even be possible. Let's go!
    2156 days ago
    Reading this blog makes me think (blog idea for me) that weight is like an abusive partner or spouse.... They, weight and an abuser, bring on the negative thoughts and make us believe those negative thoughts so that we feel powerless. We are NEVER powerless! We can always make a fresh start where ever we are on our journey! I make a fresh start every day! I have to renew my faith in myself and my power to overcome weight gain daily! I know the detox works for you, but I still encourage you to make total lifestyle changes.... Stop the dieting and make it a lifestyle change that you can maintain forever. Focus on healthy, not thin and go for it forever! "They" all say that we don't gain the weight overnight, so we can't lose it overnight and your blog today proves that! Pounds are sneaky little buggers that creep back up if we are not diligent! Thank you for another terrific blog and for giving me an idea for my own blog today!! Spark on and never, ever give up!!
    2156 days ago
    Great blog, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Good for you, taking charge. Fresh starts happen any time we have to pull out the big girl panties. You are doing so well and I have no doubt you will get right back on track and move forward. --Pam
    2156 days ago
    It feels so hard once you have lost weight and then regain it and then gain more and then even more! And then you wonder how did I get here? At least I wonder that. I have a lot of weight to lose and sometimes I want to give up because it is so overwhelming. But your message today was what I needed to hear. It will keep me moving forward. Thanks so very much for that!
    2156 days ago
  • LINDAK25
    You can do it! Day 1? Are you starting the Sugar Detox again? I do well when I'm on that kind of diet, but when I go off, boy, am I crazy! Don't get me wrong, I learned a whole lot about which foods were giving me problems, but it's not something I want to do long term. Good luck!
    2156 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11945874
    Great practical advice........ emoticon for sharing your insight.... emoticon
    2156 days ago
    Awesome! Back to basics, tracking, drinking water... Doing the things you know have worked for you. Maybe during the detox, think about concrete plans about how to end it, since that seems to have been a risk point for you in the past?
    2156 days ago
    I am so there with you. We can do this. Supporting each other and bouncing ideas off each other...we can do this! Thank you for writing so eloquently much of what is in my heart.
    2156 days ago
    Woo Hoo! Girlfriend - I am SO glad you soughed off the definition that doubting voice inside you was trying to put on you. I just love a day one. Jump on in - the water's fine and all you have to do today is get your feet wet. tomorrow worry about getting your ankles wet. Just one tee tiny day of eating delicious healthy food - that's all you have to do today.

    I am so going to enjoy reading about your upcoming trips to disney - to the zoo - to all those fun things you love doing when you feel light on your feet.

    Hugs hugs hugs
    2156 days ago
    Well said. We all seem to be in the same boat right now. I too have regained and saw 197 last week. That's 12 lbs. creeping back to that 200 number. I had to get my 'big' shorts back out of the drawer I had put them in. I don't know why we do this to ourselves but can completely relate.

    We end up being almost like someone looking at ourselves from outside of our bodies, unable to summon enough willpower to stop the bad habits. The voice in the background tells you to get up, get moving, stop being destructive. But not even having to put back on those damn shorts is enough to stop the roller coaster.

    I hope that was your moment, mine was last week and I've had a great week up until falling down last night. But today is another day.

    We are in this together so don't give up - emoticon
    2156 days ago
    You are so right...back to the basics. That's how we get it done! Great blog!
    2156 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14907109
    Good luck Stephanie. You can do it. One step at a time. emoticon emoticon
    2156 days ago
    A fresh start is a super idea...there are times each of us needs a personal reboot! When our boys were teenagers and life was extremely crazy, I can remember my husband telling me that life is just a huge juggling act. You can learn to throw those dang balls as high as you can, learn to add more balls, annnnnnd adjust when you drop one...cuz we are all going to have some dropsies! Rarely will our best of intentions yield exactly what our head envisions, and thank goodness! I have met some of the most amazing people, had incredible experiences, and learned things of infinite worth...when my juggling skills were at their absolute worst. Sounds to me like day 1 volume 2 was exactly what you needed! All the best...deb
    2156 days ago
    Sweetie, you HAVE the strength. You will do it in your own time.

    IN the meantime, you know you have tons of support here. Major HUGS
    2156 days ago
    Your DAY 1 was successful!!! Just string those DAY 1's together & see what happens...it will all become natural habits!!! A repeated behaviour is what a habit is...you have recognized those itty bitty gains & have become accountable to YOURSELF by tracking....Keep it up....

    When our weight yo yo's it is showing that we have changed the healthy routine we've set, & lost the accountability focus or we have changed our movement or intensity factor...for me that is so easy to do...the more movement & EXTRA push I add gives me that energy & drive to KEEP GOING...Hope you gain that SPIRIT you show in your blogs...you motivate others with your... emoticon attitude & TOGETHER emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2156 days ago
    Not doing a sugar detox, but thankfully I've been successful with staying away from most sugars. It's hard work, but u can do it. :)
    2156 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2156 days ago
    Tracking is so important. Wishing you good luck on your fresh start. emoticon
    2156 days ago
  • MARYBETH4884
    You are so correct! I actually got up this morning and had to change shirts feel more comfortable. I asked myself is it really a bad thing to be a size larger? Maybe I'm just more comfortable here at 20 pounds more than I was. Those kinds of thoughts lead to terrible backsliding!! We need to draw a line and just stop! If we have to redraw it again we just need to! We can't give up! We just need to keep fighting! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2156 days ago
  • BETRHO48
    I, too, have lost pounds over and over only to regain them over and over again like a yoyo. I've learned it's much better to focus on healthy eating instead of the numbers on the scale.
    2156 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15586645
    Like you, I've been losing and gaining. I must have lost hundreds of lbs in my life only to gain them back. It helps me now not to concentrate on losing weight which I know from experience I'll put back on again, but on learning to eat and exercize like a 'normal person' (although it's a bit vague what 'normal' might be). Tracking helps. Good luck on your fresh start!
    2156 days ago
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