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domestic viloence

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

domestic violence
After I left DV I was so relieved and so happy I wasn't killed. Now I almost wish he did kill me because the agony keeps getting worse. I mean like being suicidal and in terms that each day I discover another way in which DV has permanently impacted my life. Besides being impoverished with more health problems than I can count, it's the little things. DV teaches you that you don't have control over your life. And life doesn't get better. Studies show that DV is permanent in many ways, in particular financial. A DV victim never recovers her financial status and don't I know it. I'm constantly in threat of not having gas for my car, not having food, being homeless. And in my heart I know it doesn't get better because it's systemic. I truly have no control.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LILLYROSEGRAM
    I am just seeing your blog now. I am hoping the suggestions and wishes of your Spark Friends will lead you to finding some strength and solutions to the challenges you face. No one has walked in your shoes, but many including me have been in DV situations and found a path out. It isn't easy and some days you may feel your situation is hopeless. Please look for resources in your community for individuals who are or were in a DV situation. Those who work for such organizations will help you access the resources you need.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you as you move into a better future.

    emoticon emoticon
    1664 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/4/2015 6:49:20 PM
  • no profile photo CD13244496
    I TOO AM A DV SURVIVOR. AND I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. I DID MEET SOMEONE ELSE. AND HE IS NOT PERFECT, AND KNEW THAT I DIDN'T LOVE HIM. BUT I CARRY A LOT OF BAGGAGE WITH ME TOO. ALTHOUGH THINGS ARE RARELY PERFECT FOR US, I HAVE A ROOF OVER MY HEAD, FOOD TO EAT, A CAR TO DRIVE, AND A PAYING JOB AND A CHANCE AT ANOTHER ONE AND I AM 68 YEARS OLD. I DO NOT GET ABUSED ANY LONGER, BUT THE SCARS REMAIN EVEN WITH YEARS OF COUNSELING. IT'S HOW YOU CHOOSE TO LOOK AT IT THAT CHANGES. YOU CAN LET YOURSELF SLIDE INTO THAT "I'LL NEVER GET OUT OF THIS" PIT, OR DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE. I HAVE BEEN A LIFELONG DIABETIC, HAD POLIO, 11 HEART PROCEDURES, AND THREE DIFFERENT TYPES OF ARTHRITIS. EVERY DAY I LIVE IN PAIN AND OFTEN THOUGHT HOW EASY IT WOULD BE TO JUST END IT ALL. BUT SUICIDE IS FOREVER. THERE ARE NO "DO-OVERS". THINK ABOUT WHAT GOD WANTS YOU TO DO. AND IF YOU AREN'T SURE, LISTEN FOR HIS STILL SMALL VOICE. YOU'RE LIFE MAY NEVER BE WHAT YOU HAD ONCE PICTURED, BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT IT CAN'T BE SOMETHING ELSE GOOD.
    ERIN
    1670 days ago
  • LADYGSC
    I will keep you lifted in prayer - prayer changes things... emoticon
    1671 days ago
  • SUNFLOWERGAL50
    emoticon There have been lots of good suggestions in all the responses. Please seek out some help. You may not feel in control, but God is and He longs to protect you, comfort you, and heal you. Praying for you. emoticon
    1671 days ago
  • PATTYMCGRAW
    Someone took away your ability to see the ending the way YOU want it to be. There are a lot of resources out there...all you have to do is start asking. I know...it's hard and you're not sure where to start, etc. I have been there, done that, and have survived. Now I am a strong person because of that. I started with churches, county resources, etc. Ask everyone and you will get the answers your need or at least a point in the right direction. Really. Been there, done that, survived.
    1671 days ago
  • .DUSTY.
    It's been a very long time. In just about every blog post you get the same great suggestions about seeking out a women's group or shelter.

    Is there a reason why you haven't?


    1671 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/28/2015 8:31:39 PM
  • ALEXSGIRL1
    emoticon
    1671 days ago
  • LUCYCAN7
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1671 days ago
  • JAZZYGF
    Get help as soon as possible
    Find someone go to a church take control and please get help emoticon
    1671 days ago
  • NELLJONES
    There is help out there, but it's invisible in order to be safe for those getting help. A call to a local hotline is a start.
    1671 days ago
  • PINKD333
    also find a strong recovery network. There are people who want to help you heal mentally and spiritually.

    emoticon

    To Life!!!!!
    1671 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1951302
    When I and my 6 children left my husband, I went to a domestic violence shelter. My 7 cats were temporarily housed at an animal shelter separate from the other animals. I had been manager of the money since he kept forgetting to pay bills, so I had set aside money for my leaving. After about a month, we entirely left the state and drove across the country so we were far away. It helped that his job transferred him. Our house had been sold and I got a good sized portion of the money to buy another place when we got to where we were going by a separation agreement.

    I advise you also to find a domestic violence shelter
    1671 days ago
  • 68ANNE
    You can
    1671 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/28/2015 11:44:12 AM
  • 68ANNE
    I'm a survivor and I'm proof it does get better and I do not have to struggle for basic necessities. DV does not control me, my life or my future !
    1671 days ago
  • BUSYGRANNY5
    Thoughts and prayers are with you! I concur with the previous posters.... get yourself into some counseling!!!


    1671 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13562405
    There are systems in place to help domestic violence victims where you can receive shelter and counseling and also become aware of the opportunities for you in your new life. Leaving the Pity Party is the first step. Looking at the glass half full....you are alive.....you have new opportunities.....instead of half empty.....was it really better being battered?

    Each community is different. I encourage you to look into the services available in your area.

    Blessiings and emoticon
    1671 days ago
  • PEZMOM1
    emoticon
    1671 days ago
  • KNYAGENYA
    Please get in to counseling. Try to look at the big picture instead of the small. You weren't happy when you were with him. It might be difficult now but remember you are alive to live another day. That might not have happened if you had stayed.
    1671 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    DV also forces one to find something better...rescue,help, fresh air.freedom. I know firsthand. IT took years, but I am better off in every way you mentioned than I was before. IT takes work, humility to ask and determination. Counseling is a must. there are hundreds of programs and people out there to help,,
    go to a women's shelter,, walk in the door,, first step..

    1671 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15603816
    Like and we can talk 😀
    1671 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15603816
    I know it sounds difficult, but you need to have a proactive approach. I was abused my my ex and I am doing alright for myself. It still hurts yes, but it does actually get better, even when the hurt creeps back into your life. You van add me if you
    1671 days ago
  • MMJENNE
    This post seems like a cry for help. I agree with the previous suggestion to look into a woman's shelter. There are many resources for people who have been or still are in your situation. Don't give up, there is always something to work towards
    1671 days ago
  • CETANISTAWI
    emoticon
    1671 days ago
  • SPARTANGODDESS
    I am a survivor & understand the impact. Even after the death of my husband strangly I grieved a man who hurt me. Never is a strong word though, the first thing you recovered is your mind. I swear a peaceful mind is priceless. ♡
    1671 days ago
  • MARYJOANNA
    I suggest you go to a home for abused women. There you will find the help you need.
    1671 days ago
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