Hows About an Update?
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Hey, everyone! *waves*
Okay, so I've been a BAD girl and I haven't been logging into Spark and logging my calories here and blogging and all that. On the upside? I've been logging everything at My Fitness Pal and logging it all in my EC Life Planner.
So, how are things going? Well, I hate to jinx it and say well, but...Well, actually. Here are the updates:
Diet - Okay, so at my last monthly weigh in with my doctor my weight hadn't budged. What she didn't know is that I yo-yoed all month. I showed her my tracking and we recognized that I needed to be even more viligent (sp? I'm too lazy to look things up today) and start moving more now that I could. We also recognized that I had just gotten back from a romantic weekend away with my husband, including several long hours driving in the car, which just about kills me thanks to my pelvic misalignment issues. We also talked about what medications might be making this difficult for me. (I'm thinking the Depo MUST go...unfortunately I had just gotten a shot the day before that. Three more months of hormones and then I'll be finding another BC method.) I reformatted my macro goals and went back to low (or even very low) carb, high protein. My fats were reading around 30-40% and I nearly flipped, but then I decided to just go with it and see what happened on the scale. Don't fix what isn't broken, right? We all know that low-fat craze was insane, right? Your body needs fat. Maybe not 40%, but I'm not going to fuss if I lose weight and am able to maintain it. The culprits of the fat are yogurt, cheese and nuts, so I'm not overly worried about it.
Fitness - I took last week off from the gym. I didn't even do it overly consciously, and yet I did. Something in my told me to take a break and refocus. I redoubled my efforts into getting my diet right and logging everything every single day. Once I felt I had a handle on that and had given my body the rest it needed from that weekend trip (which included a great deal of walking up and down hill, which is very hard on my foot/hips right now), I vowed to go back to 3-4 times a week and stay there for 30 minutes at least doing anything I could, even if it was just lifting dumbbells that weren't heavy enough to really do anything. I needed the habit of the gym back. That's what I've been working on this week. And it resulted in a huge NSV and injury recovery victory for me.
Monday I spent a full 30 minutes on the elliptical and even did some interval training throughout! It felt like the old me! It felt like the fit me! I was sweating buckets and smiling my arse off the whole way! It felt great! Of course, then I got off and was all, "Oh...okay..." and weeble-wobbled my way to the stretch bars. I followed that tough cardio blast workout with a full at least 15 minutes of stretching, which really seemed to help my back and hips (I still should probably see the chiro soon). I left feeling more hope than I have felt in years!
Tuesday I had another NSV and injury recovery victory. I went to the gym again! Two days in a row! Now, it was a crappy workout for sure. I could only manage 15 minutes on the elliptical and then went through some ST machines for the rest of the 15 minutes. It was a short workout. I was in a BAD mood. But I did it! I completed it! It felt amazing to know I had gone two days in a row and didn't die!
I'll be going back tonight. That's right, I have a gym schedule set up in my planner and I WILL follow through with it! Gym days are now: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday, with some Fridays thrown in if I want them (or swapped with a Sunday depending on photography work). The goal is 4 days a week for 30-45 minutes. Easy and slow when I must, sped up a bit when I can, but CONSISTENT!
Home Life - Okay, so that romantic weekend away? Yes, it would seem my husband and I have reconciled. I cannot explain this to anyone, not even myself, but the man just woke up. It's like he finally got that I was walking away and he finally understood that he was a big reason for that. He started owning up to his crap. He started taking responsibility, which in turn validated my emotions and we starting actually talking. It's not easy. It's been very hard for me, actually. I stalled the progress on this for a long time to make sure I was ready. I'm still not quite sure I'm there. He's still got a lot of making up for to do. But I finally feel brave enough to say that his actions caused a LOT of our problems. I will certainly own up to the crap I've done. My attitude has not always been great, for sure. I've made mistakes. But he made some gaping holes in our relationship that he now has to repair. We're back in counseling. Let's hope it works this time.
The past week has felt more like things are coming together again. Shane started a new job and we were able to actually talk about finances and insurance as a TEAM instead of fighting over it and degrading each other. We spent over an hour on a conference call together (him at home, me at work) with the benefits coordinator just talking through our options for insurance and such and we made a decision together like actual grown adults. It was refreshing.
He's also stepping up around the house. I can ask him to help me with the To Do lists for the week and he actually does his part to ease the load. Sometimes it's silly things, like setting up my new printer for me or cleaning up the upstairs bathroom. Other times it's big things - like finally fixing the wall in the bathroom that has been out of commission and in construction status for over a year. Yesterday we even interviewed and hired a cleaning lady to come in once or twice a month to help me out because he understands that I can't do it all and he can't either and relieving the stress I have of it not being done is worth the price it takes to have someone come in once or twice a month to help out. She starts Monday and I'm super pumped about coming home to a clean house...after I hit the gym hard, of course! ;)
The kids are in Summer Band, next week starts a two week Band Camp, and then the week after that school starts. I hate summer for its lack of consistency and schedule! There - I said it! *lol* I will be happy when we have the regular humdrum life of school. Plus, this year it's back to concentrating full-time on my two sons and I'm happy to have the time to be able to do that.
Work - With a happier attitude comes a more productive me. I'll be working on upping my game at both jobs in the upcoming months. I'm ready to renew myself and get my fire and passion back. I even have two weekends of photoshoots coming up starting this Saturday! I needed the time away, but now I need to get back to it! Enough messing around and time to market the heck out of myself in both places! I want to be a HUGE success in everything I do!
Surgery - Okay, finally...the big update. So, remember how I said Shane and I talked to a benefits coordinator about insurance options? There are a few reasons for the thought of switching insurance carriers, but the biggest one is that my insurance carrier sets the most stringent standards for pre-certification of surgery than any other in the US. It requires a 12-month doctor-supervised diet and exercise plan AND you have to lose 10% of your body weight in those 12 months. Now, this would have been fine if I could have used my nearly 2 years before my injury - but it's been more than 2 years since stopping that program and, as I said, I'm struggling to lose weight now like I was then with injuries and medications and life stressors and all of it. In six months I've lost 5 pounds total. (well, 10 as of today, but that's not official, so it doesn't count...) That's it. FIVE lousy pounds! We had gotten to a point where I was looking at extending my 12 months into 15 or 18 or losing 3-4 pounds PER WEEK just to meet my goal. It was the worse stress EVER because I know how unhealthy that is to try to do and I do not need to be damaging myself any more than necessary.
So we talked about Shane's insurance. Was it more expensive? Did they cover the surgery? What about regular medical expenses we have? Do they have good coverage for doctor's visits and specialists (need my foot doc on call!) and other medicines (need my chiro!) and mental health specialists (we NEED that therapy!)?
After all the discussion, we switched over to his insurance yesterday (effective 7/16 so I can start using it immediately), and I'll be dropping my insurance as soon as we get confirmation of coverage from them. Turns out his insurance has almost identical coverage and has a cheaper premium. Plus, his work pays the full deductible upfront, even though the out of pocket max is higher than mine. Plus, they do cover the surgery and their only requirements are 6 months doctor-supervised (which I already have now) in which time you cannot gain weight. That's it. That's all I have to do. And it's what I've done in 6 months. In fact, overachiever over here for my huge 5 pound loss! *lol* So instead of waiting and stressing and maybe never getting there or getting there late next year (the earliest would be May), I can go ahead and pre-cert now and get my testing and may be in and out of this by October/November.
Now, I hate to get too excited, because I'm terrified it's all going to fall apart again. It's hard to wait 11 years for something (though now I'm really glad I did because the advances in medicine have made my options SO much better!). But I can't help but be happy and scared and nervous and most of all, a little excited, about getting my very own #1 Christmas wishlist item before the end of the year. Fingers and toes crossed!
Until then, it's full force on the diet overhaul! I still am working on learning how to eat post-op now (hence the low to no carb). I've got changes to make still, but I've made a lot of them already and I'm feeling more encouraged. I'm going to stick to the diet and exercise plan and still hope to lose another 15-20 pounds before surgery. I like the idea of giving myself a headstart, but the past 6 months have been the longest ramp-up ever. Injuries are NO JOKE and neither is CHRONIC PAIN. I still deal with that every day, but it's much less than it was and it's much more manageable now.
Here's to moving forward!
(Oh, and if you're going to comment to me about the dangers of weight loss surgery, you can save your breath. To say someone has researched their options more than I have would be silly. I started this whole journey more than 11 years ago. My mother and uncle have both undergone some version of the surgery. I have worked with two other individuals who have had the surgery as well. I've been to support group meetings and information sessions and read more website articles and books than you can imagine. I do NOT go into this lightly. I honestly believe this is the best option FOR ME. I know what I can do and I am using this as a TOOL to help me in my own journey and efforts. I will not stop being the girl who hits the gym hard 3-4 (or up to 6) days a week and wants to do things like run 5ks and do triathlons and crap like that. I'll just have a LOT of help in getting me where I've been trying to go my ENTIRE LIFE.)