Reset Day 43: 50 shades of popcorn
Monday, July 13, 2015
I had a busy weekend. I worked a fundraiser Saturday - my job was to take money at the door and sell tickets for food. So, I sat on my butt from 9-5:30 with little time to get up and stretch. Not the best for getting steps in! However, a wonderful thing happened and someone donated $300 to our cause totally unexpected!
Afterwards, I had a meeting to attend at 6:30 and then met my friend and her neighbor for girls movie night in. My friend recently had brain surgery to remove a tumor and is doing remarkably well physically, but struggling with some emotional things. She was wanting to see Fifty Shades of Grey but couldn't make it to the movies while it was released - so we told her we would have a girls movie night when she felt up to it. Saturday was movie night! Yippee! It was good to get together again.
My food choices during the day were limited. By the time I got a brief break to eat at the fundraiser the only food left was walking tacos - so I had one. Talk about sodium. I swear between the salty taco meat and the fritos - it was certainly overkill - but I ate it! I had a protein bar on my way to my meeting.
I was tired when I met my friends to watch the movie at 9pm. The gal who was hosting us made some popcorn. I was thinking she'd throw a bag in the microwave. She got out the pan and made popcorn from scratch - then she melted a whole stick of butter, added some parmesan cheese and some other kind of cheese, wisked it up and drizzled it over the popcorn. To that she added seasoned pepper and sea salt. It was yummy! Warm, buttery, cheesy goodness! I ate it - a lot of it! Dang I'm glad I don't know her secret recipe for that buttery, cheesy topping! However my nutritional content for the day sucked. Not much in the fruit/vegetable department! Is popcorn a vegetable? Probably not, huh.
I didn't get a walk in Saturday. I didn't even get in 10,000 steps - I was about a 2,500 steps short of my 12,000 step goal. Two misses in the goal department (nutrition/exercise). Positive, I drank all my water!
Sunday was a beautiful day. I got up and my stomach was on the fritz. I was going to walk the dog, but after multiple bathroom trips in a short period of time, I didn't dare. I ended up napping on the couch. I was crampy and just not feeling 100%. At noon, I finally left the couch and decided to at least sit out on the porch and read. It was too nice out to let such a beautiful day slip away! I got my book and headed to the porch, sat down only to see some weeds peeking up in my garden - which led me outdoors. I pulled some weeds, trimmed a bush that was getting too bushy and then moved to the front garden. I watered and fertilized the flowers. I felt exhausted just from that little bit of activity. Not sure what was up. That is so not me. I headed back indoors, ate a bowl of soup and turned on the tv. I fell asleep on the couch around 8pm, woke up only to head upstairs to bed.
My step count? A dismal 4,070. Two days in a row of being well under my step goal. Another nutritional flop day. Not many fruits and veggies again. My stomach was too rocky and I was sticking to soup, saltine crackers and blah white bread.
Being an obsessive numbers person, that is driving me crazy. I knew Saturday would be a challenge, but thought I would compensate on Sunday and get in extra steps to account for what I missed. Instead I got in about half what I got in on Saturday! HOW COULD I LET THAT HAPPEN?
I got up today and wanted to hop on the scale to see where I am. I fought the urge. I looked in the mirror and I wanted to smack that girl looking back at me! However I looked into her eyes and said "It's ok, you did some good things this weekend! It's ok not to be perfect. I got your back. Let's do the best we can today." I hope someday I will be able to not have such high expectations of myself, that I will be able to fall short of a goal and move on without going through this internal emotional struggle. I mean really Barb, it's not the end of the world! In the big picture, it is one small particle.
Well, that silly mean girl chorus keeps coming up in my head. They keep telling me I am a failure. You know what? They might be right. But for now, this isn't over. There is today. Today, I am going to put forth my best effort.
Today my stomach is still a bit shaky. It's thunderstorming out there. There will be no lunch hour walk. Tonight I'm supposed to have softball with my son, so I MAY have another light day in the step department. I will do my best to reach my goal today. However, I know that if I do not reach my goal today it does not mean I am a failure. As long as I am trying, I will not consider myself a failure.
Stay focused Barb, you have everything you need to complete this journey. Focus on today. One foot in front of the other. It's ok to move slowly some days. Don't focus on those shortcomings, focus on the good things. The wonderful person who made a donation to a good cause, the fact that your friend is alive and survived a brain tumor and was able to laugh and share a bowl of popcorn over a movie. It's ok to take a moment and enjoy those beautiful flowers in your garden on a beautiful day. Life is good. Never let those little shortcomings cast a shadow on the good things! Deep breath. Smile and enjoy! Come on, we have places to go now.