This is brand new information to me, and it's pretty devastating.
I guess in order for you to find out if you are addicted to something, you have to actually give it up and see what kind of changes your mind and body go through. It is no secret that people can be addicted to food/sugar just as they can be to alcohol or cigarettes. It makes sense that we end up craving these things, and simply can not walk away from them.
I have never been addicted to alcohol or cigarettes, but I have always known I've had a problem with food. There was no way that I could get up to 272 pounds without having an unhealthy relationship with food. I ate a lot of junk and fast food, and I ate past the point of fullness. When I started losing weight I was still eating processed junk, but I used portion control and calorie counting and was still able to lose the majority of my weight that day. I could eat things in moderation and be happy... but let's fast forward to the last 2 days.
Coming "off" my Sugar Detox, I had decided I would practice most of the same rules, and that SOME of the time I would indulge in the things I wasn't "allowed" to have while on the sugar detox. The point was to indulge occasionally and in moderation. Can I just tell you that I completely fell on my face. Let's call a spade a spade, in 2 days I have had an all out carb binge!
It's funny, because I have not had any cravings for sweets. No candy, cookies, the obvious forms of sugar. That is not an issue. But it's the fluffy carbs (jalapeno kaiser rolls, yummy LOL) and processed chunk (cheetos) that are the issue. I also have had a lot of diet soda, and while I didn't intend to give it up, I am back to drinking large amounts which means I have to step away from it.
I feel like I'm broken in a way. How come I could have small amounts of these foods in the past, and use that "everything in moderation" approach to lose 80 pounds and pretty much keep it off, and now I can't do it? I don't doubt that in time I could learn how to enjoy these foods in moderation. I don't doubt that I could lose the rest of the weight eating 1 serving of cheetos everyday, but I think I am learning that I don't want to eat that way. I've said it before, and while I meant it maybe I just wasn't ready back then.
This feeling of being out of control with the carbs has really bothered me. Not just physically,
, but mentally also. This is not the way I want to live, and certainly not how I want to feel.
Before I had said that I thought I would do 21 day cycles of the sugar detox with some time off in between but I thought that might send me into a binge. Funnily enough I went into a binge even though I avoided that strategy. So instead I have mapped out 21 day cycles, that only have about 2-3 days in between. I still need to count calories and account for everything I eat and I need to learn to control myself.
Some of you might be asking, why do the 21 day cycles, why not just decide this is how you are going to eat? That is what I set out to do, to follow the rules 80% of the time, and 2 days later I have been doing nothing but eating. So clearly that wasn't working. I know that when I think about a "life long journey" (which is what I'm on, to lose weight and then maintain), I get overwhelmed. When I get overwhelmed I shutdown and bad things happen. When I was doing my 21 days, I was focused. Even when I slipped up I immediately got back on track and I kept going. Clearly focusing on JUST the 21 days was a mind game that worked for me, so if it works, why not do it again?
My goal is that if I do enough of these cycles, something will finally click in this little brain of mine and I won't feel the need to count the days or pay attention to the cycles and that this will "just be the way I eat." I feel so great with that way of eating and I feel more in control and my mood and energy are so much better when I am following this plan. So wish me luck, I'm going to need it!