Sunday, June 28, 2015
I've traveled this journey for so long I could walk it in my sleep and backwards. But I haven't ever reached a goal i've set myself. Why? I give up and I give in. When the going gets tough, like the third day, I quit on myself, Then I get disgusted and start "fresh" again. What does that accomplish? Nothing. Nada. Zip. I sit here at my highest weight, and I feel like i've let myself down. I say i'm going to change this time, I've got the tools i'm ready, then when the going gets tough I quit yet again. Is this time going to be different? Will I succeed this time where i've failed before? I don't know and I won't know till I try. I have to give this a go, my cholesterol is up and now i'm on meds, changes are needed, this isn't just a fling anymore this is starting to tell on me. It isn't a whisper any longer, it is shouting that it needs help, I need help, So I come to Spark, just like i've always done. I come here for the tools, for the support, for the fun, and just so I can be me. I can check in when I need to and brows as I see fit. I like that about Spark. Freedom to be me and yet someone to hold my hand when I so need it. So I leave this blog today and I begin yet again.