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STEPH-KNEE
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I Can Dish It Out, But I Can't Always Take It! :(

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Saturday, June 27, 2015

I can dish out advice (when asked for) and kind, supportive words to anyone at any time! Someone can tell me that overate, ate something they shouldn't, skipped a workout, gained 5 pounds etc. and I can find a positive spin on all of it. I can remind them not to give up, not to let the scale get to them. I can remind them that they are human and of course they are going to make mistakes from time to time since none of us are perfect. I can remind them not to beat themselves up and to get back on track immediately... but when it comes to myself I can't always dish it out!

I woke up today after having an amazing day yesterday, and saw the scale was up 2 pounds. Sometimes I can be super logical when it comes to the scale, collect the data and move forward. Some days I give that scale so much power that it can send me off the rails. I can easily tell someone that there is no way they gained 2 pounds of fat in 1 day. I can explain to them that in order to do that, they'd have to eat 7,000 calories OVER maintenance to gain that much and there was no way that happened. I can tell them it's a simple fluctuation that can have to do with our monthly cycle (if they are a woman of course), that it can be water, waste etc, but that it is definitely not fat.

I knew that I had not gained 2 pounds of fat, in fact I pretty much knew that I was bloated and my time of the month is coming in about a week. Logically, I had a grip on the situation. Emotionally though, I lost my dang mind. "Why do I bother?" was the recurring thought of the day. I bust my butt, I take on this sugar detox, I do what I'm supposed to do and this is the thanks I get. Irrational I know, but hey, emotions aren't always rational. emoticon

I allowed myself to come unglued, I ate things today that were a big NO NO when it comes to my sugar detox. I did not have any true sugar, no sweets, no candy, nothing like that. But I had refined JUNK. Flamin hot cheetos, macaroni salad, and jalapeno kaiser rolls. I tracked all the damage, and let's just say it's not pretty. Part of me started to say that's it, I'm done with the sugar detox. I screwed it up and I'm done. But once I calmed down, I decided that I wasn't going to do that. I am going to keep on going, tomorrow (today technically, Saturday) is day 17. I am going to continue on... at the end of this I will hope I can say I had 20/21 good days. I need to forgive myself and move forward. Don't get me wrong, this was a big deal for me, and I did feel bad about it... but if I dwell on how I screwed up, I will continue to screw up. So I have to be kind to myself, just like I would be to a friend who might tell me they messed up. I have to be understanding and forgive myself. If I am too harsh with myself, I will continue to eat poorly and feel sorry for myself. So I am dusting myself off and moving forward.

This journey never ends. For me, it'll transition from weight loss to weight maintenance, but I will always be on a journey. It isn't practical for me to think I am never going to screw up, or overeat for the rest of my life. As an emotional eater, over eater, and a someone who is human and far from perfect, I am going to have my bad days, it's how I allow them to affect me, what I learn from them, and how quickly I get on track that is going to determine how well I do in the long haul. So day 16 on my Sugar Detox was an official disaster, and now I move forward and make it a better day 17.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • RUNNING-TURTLE
    So many true things in that blog. I too am guilty of much of that. And we do need to be kinder to ourselves thanks for such a wonderful blog. And keep going strong on your sugar detox. You can do it!
    2184 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13809795
    I really like your blog; it's so true! You are doing such a great job! Have a wonderful day!!
    2184 days ago
  • ASCHU2
    i get it! We say things to ourself we would never say to a friend. I'm slowly changing into my biggest cheerleader.
    2184 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13664249
    I've started meditating where I see my thoughts but don't judge them. It's really helping me to not be so hard on myself. I can now tell myself the things you tell your friends to help them over the bump. It was a little detour and now you are back. Take a look at this web site link about emotional labor, it might help.

    www.actualized.org/blu
    eprint/emotional-labor
    2186 days ago
  • WALNUTT1961
    I went overboard this weekend and ended up sick because of off program food. I knew better and my stomach told me about it. Today is much better and I guess I needed that kick in the pants to get me back on track today! There is always a curve on the road. We can do it! emoticon
    2187 days ago
  • SIMONEKP
    Taking our own advice is always hard
    2187 days ago
  • WHYTEBROWN
    I sooooo know what you mean about being able to give others emoticon advice about slip-ups and the scale and then forget all that when it comes to you. I also know the kind of frustration and consequent binge that the scale can bring on. emoticon though on not only keeping track of everything you ate regardless of how ugly it was but also realizing that the damage was done but that didn't have to define you. I'm cheering you on to an emoticon day 17, 18, 19, 20 and 21!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2187 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    Love your attitude of you're not quitting! emoticon
    2187 days ago
  • FINGERS51970
    you tell the bear to be quiet for starters. lol. you are right. put on the big girl panties and move on. don't dwell. I have faith in you. you will succeed. emoticon
    2187 days ago
  • IDICEM
    A stumble doesn't stop the journey. emoticon emoticon
    2188 days ago
  • EMMACORY
    day by day...one choice after another...we do the best we can and forget the rest.... emoticon
    2188 days ago
  • LINDAK25
    Why must we be perfect? 20 out of 21 days sounds good to me. Not that I'm advocating mediocrity, I think being consistent is a good goal to strive for. We have to live in the real world, right? Keep on going!
    2188 days ago
  • BONNIEMCC488
    It is super easy to give advice to others, but not to ourselves. That's something I've found that I've really had to focus on and practice every day! The more I practice talking to myself that way, and as soon as possible, the better I get at it. I still have a long way but have already come a long way as far as that goes. You did well and turned yourself around. Keep practicing and it will become more like a habit to treat yourself like you do others and take your own advice!
    2188 days ago
  • VEG954
    PUT DOWN THE BAT AND PICK UP A FEATHER
    emoticon
    2188 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    I think you told yourself everything that you needed to know. Every day is a journey and some days we will eat things that are not good for us, but as long as they are the minority of days, it is all good. Tomorrow is another day, hop back on the sugar detox and do it to it! You can do this.!
    2188 days ago
  • LUCYCAN7
    Steph emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2188 days ago
  • KOHINOOR2
    Glad you're back on tract. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • DESERTDREAMERS
    We're always harder on ourselves, sweetie!
    2189 days ago
  • 2DAWN4
    I enjoyed reading your blog s we all have days like this. But you are getting right back on track and that is the most important thing to do! You've got this! Plus thousands of sparkers have your back!
    2189 days ago
  • SUBMOM2
    I'm glad you were able to get yourself back on track. It's always a victory when we treat ourselves with kindness.

    emoticon emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • ADARKARA
    It's not failure until you give up! emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • AMARILYNH
    Wow - just WOW! This is a HUGE step in your journey! You WON'T always be perfect - none of us are! But to maintain our weight loss we have to do just what you are doing - pop right back on track. No beating ourselves up - why would we want to do that? I believe the more times you go through this process, the easier it will be to stop the cycle in its tracks. So congratulations!!
    2189 days ago
  • MOONGLOWSNANA
    I say give that bear some boxing gloves and have him put up his dukes! The work out will do you good and that bear can just get his ears boxed . Take that I say. Look out bear! Let loose Steph! Come out swinging!
    2189 days ago
  • HOPEFULHIPPO
    flaming hot cheetos blek...now puffy cheetos...whole bag GONE emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • PJDANIELS
    It wasn't a disaster if you consider how you are getting right back on track, lesson learned, move forward. Good job.
    2189 days ago
  • SHOAPIE
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • SUSIEMT
    You stopped yourself from doing much worse! Good for you Stephanie!!
    emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • BLACK_CANARY19
    Great job switching your attitude to be more positive and realize that no one is perfect. So many of us are so hard on ourselves and it really does more harm than good. Have an amazing Day 17 and pat yourself on the back for all the hard work you have done so far!
    2189 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10895053
    Isn't that about it, that we'll always be on a journey?! You said it, girl, so true and so right and we will keep fighting. Ya, we'll get there!! emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • MULTIPLEHIGH5S
    Here is my little mantra ... "recognize it,own it, move on." you obviously are doing that already though :)
    2189 days ago
  • MISCHAKEO
    Great job of stopping yourself and getting back on track. You will soon feel better. Wel done, my friend.
    2189 days ago
  • NELLJONES
    You ought to print this blog out and read it every day. That feeling of having "blown it", whatever the cause, is awful to live through. By avoiding the junk food, you are avoiding that feeling. Imagine a life without that kind of regret. It's worth whatever it takes.
    2189 days ago
  • GRACED777
    Being kind to myself is one of the hardest things I have to do, but it's absolutely necessary if I'm going to make it through weight maintenance and life. That is totally different than making excuses! You're right - it enables me to move ahead! Thanks for reminding me, friend!
    2189 days ago
  • MARYBETH4884
    We are always our own worst critic!! We also know which buttons to push to send ourselves over the edge back into bad habits!! 1 day not a big deal you are back in your correct mind set and moving forward! emoticon Remember that TOM not only plays with our bodies but our emotions too!! You have risen above it, just keep going!! emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    You know though that all of life IS a journey, so it really never does end! It's all about how we handle the detours, accidents, derailments that happen. As you find out, life does go on. Really it does. We (You) have the choice to give up or continue on the journey. I am glad you've chosen to continue on! You are wise.

    I am going to put my quote for today here -- see if it fits!

    ♥~*-:¦:-*♥~.•*´¨ )♥~*-:¦:-*♥~.•*´¨ )♥~*-: -*♥
    “Take the time today to be good to you in thoughts, deeds and actions – but especially in your thoughts.” Gail Lynne Goodwin
    ♥~*-:¦:-*♥~.•*´¨ )♥~*-:¦:-*♥~.•*´¨ )♥~*-: -*♥

    2189 days ago
  • PENOWOK
    All is not lost...you are still down and you'll continue to go down... Time to give yourself a little grace and mercy! It's a new day and a terrific one!
    2189 days ago
  • DAKARISAH430
    Know thyself! Have a great weekend, and continue being awesome!
    2189 days ago
  • PURPLEGIRL22
    I appreciate that you are honest. I agree that you cannot dwell on it. You can do this.
    2189 days ago
  • PSCHEP
    You have great insight into all of our struggles. Your story relates to so many of us. You are doing an awesome job. Here's to a great day 17 and many days afterwards! emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • RASPBERRY56
    BTDT......... emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • BABYBARNEY
    Day 17 will rock...why? because you WILL make sure of it!!! Shake off day 16 & remember that you haven't lost the weight you already have by giving up.

    YOU ARE WORTH IT!
    2189 days ago
  • BESSHAILE
    yup yup
    drink water - move about - and let me tell you a few of the 1,209,085,791,029,987,174 great things about you. Like:

    You're smart
    You're wise
    you've got a depth of perception
    You're funny
    You're cute
    You're sassy
    You're generous
    You're lbs and lbs and lbs thinner than you used to be and you were pretty darn cool before this
    You're strong
    You're going to make day 17 of your sugar detox awesome
    you're my friend!!!!
    2189 days ago
  • BBEAGAN
    Here's to a great Day 17!
    2189 days ago
  • NASFKAB
    drink water be active & be Good to yourself
    2189 days ago
  • WENDYANNE61
    Drink your water, get in your steps and find 3 nice things to say about yourself today! Hugs!
    2189 days ago
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