Cried in the dressing room today
Saturday, June 20, 2015
I went to the store to pick up a few items. decided to stop in the make up aisle and picked up a lipstick and lip liner. I have been feeling a little more confident lately. It's a nice change to just feel like I don't have to hide. when i used to go out i wanted to just be invisible. I was always afraid of walking into someone i hadn't seen for a while. I don't know if it was in my head but when ever i did run into someone despite polite smiles I always felt like I could hear them loudly saying to themselves what happened to her. she's gotten so big. Today was different. i even let myself walk into to the clothing area, a place of anxiety before was now a little exciting. I eyed some jeans. last size jeans i wore were size 18. they were getting big so i put them away. I originally started at size 20 though. I looked for some boot cut size 16's. all gone. I spotted a size 14 and grabbed them mentally preparing myself that they might not fit but to see how close it would be. I found a cute pink dress...A dress dare I? I grabbed some shirts as well. I put on the dress and was happy I could fit and despite not having a good supportive bra I felt pretty comfortable. I snapped a picture and my phone died. bummer. I breathed in and went for the jeans. slipped my legs in, buttoned them and to my shock they fit!!!! I was so emotional that I started practically sobbing. What a nutter I am lol. I walked out all red eyed, sniffly and very happy with myself. It's these moments I look forward to on this path I am taking.
I later came home and found I managed to get the picture!