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STEPH-KNEE
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Why I'm Not At Goal Yet...

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

This started with me updating my opening on my Spark page, but I decided to share it in a blog as well. emoticon

6/17/15 - The true prize that no one tells you about is the sense of pride and happiness one can achieve after losing so much weight. We deserve to have confidence, love ourselves, and be happy at any size, but for some of us that is easier said than done. I spent so many years on the sidelines, watching everyone else live life. The weight only holds you back if you LET IT, and I let it for so many years. So many times in my head I would say "When I lose weight I will do X,Y,Z"! One of the saddest things is that the majority of those things had nothing to do with weight and everything to do with me and my lack of self confidence. Sure, there are SOME things that weight can hold you back from, example: If you want to go skydiving (I SURE DON'T LOL), and there is a weight limit and you are above that limit your weight is holding you back. But in a lot of cases it is your mind and how you feel about your weight that is the real cause. I let that happen for so many years.

So many people may look at me and wonder what's wrong with me. Why haven't I lost the rest of the weight yet? I've been at this a little over 3 years and I'm still not at goal. You want to know what's wrong with me? I'm happy and I'm awesome LOL! I am happy with myself, I am a caring and nice person (unless you piss me off), I have a great job and for the most part a great life. Are there parts of my body that I am not crazy about? Sure, my hanging stomach and crazy thighs for one thing, but does that affect who I am as a person! No! And that was my biggest problem as a 272 pound person, I allowed my weight to affect my self esteem, my self worth, and most importantly my happiness. I was so overweight that I thought I couldn't possibly be a good person, or wasn't worthy of being loved, or had no reason to be truly happy. But I am that same awesome person, just in a smaller body. It took me a year of losing weight, and 27 years on this planet to figure it out, but better later than never! (I'm now 29 btw, so I've had it figured out for a couple years now emoticon)

So if you want to know why I'm not at goal, it is not because I'm a failure, it's not because I have given up, it's because I'm learning to enjoy life and live life along the way. I no longer put off experiences or become a hermit because I can't go out and socialize because there might be food. That is no way to live. I need to learn how to lose it and keep it off, and 3 years later I'm STILL down 80 pounds I would say I have learned how to keep it off!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SIMONEKP
    you go girl!
    2182 days ago
  • ASCHU2
    Well said, again. We can't put happiness "on hold" or not enjoy our bodies and hearts when we hit a random number. I'm working on the same thing. Besides, losing weight and keeping it off should be a learning process where we incorporate things we plan on doing for life, right? I'm right there with ya.
    2184 days ago
  • WALNUTT1961
    Well said, my dear! Thank you!
    2185 days ago
  • ZELLAZM
    Have been catching up on blogs today and was glad to see your posts!
    2186 days ago
  • DESERTDREAMERS
    If only I weighed 20 pounds less ... if only I'd married rich ... if only I could dance/sing/write/whatever. But I can do (this) now and enjoy it!

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    2187 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/19/2015 6:52:40 AM
  • IDICEM
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    2188 days ago
  • DEBSZOO74
    I'm so happy for you!!! You're awesome! emoticon
    2188 days ago
  • VEG954
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    2188 days ago
  • SUSIEMT
    Well Said Stephanie!!! You are one special sparker!!!
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    2188 days ago
  • FELINEBETTER
    Awesome you are, Girl -- and will always be! It's a shame you had to release some weight to be able to acknowledge what others have known all along!

    YOU GO Girl!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2188 days ago
  • BEACHCALSIX
    Thank you for a wonderful inspiring blog. I've been so negative lately and your words put me back in a positive mindset. We don't have to be at goal weight to be happy and positive in our lives and should chase our dreams!

    Even though I'm at a low weight I have the hanging belly too. It's a lot of extra skin but I still beat myself up about it a lot. I am thinking of a tummy tuck too if hubby approves it but it would be later in the future. We may have one more baby....not sure.......lol

    Anyways thank you for some positive inspiration today. I need to focus less on the mirror and more about enjoying life and happiness in my family.

    Have a wonderful week!!
    2188 days ago
  • HOPEFULHIPPO
    5 years this month and not quite halfway to goal. I get it. emoticon
    2188 days ago
  • WENDYANNE61
    You have put your way of doing things really well into perspective - 3 years of maintaining such a large weight loss is fantastic and it is lovely to read that you are catching up on some of the things you missed out on in the past! Hugs and more hugs to you today, sweetie!
    2188 days ago
  • MARYBETH4884
    This is so true for many of us!!!! Keep enjoying life! You are young, healthy and happy!!!! You don't need a chart or BMI formula to tell you that!! Keeping it off is just as important as losing it!!! You are practicing maintenence until you are ready to dig in again!! When I was steadily losing I figured getting to goal would happen on schedule! Not so, I've been practicing for about a year, now still have 20-25 pounds to go. What ever is going to happen will happen. I exercise daily and eat more healthy food than junk! I track everything!!!! I know I still need to figure out why binges happen, maybe when I do I'll get to goal. In the meantime I can hold my head high at the summer only events knowing I look the same this summer as last, proving to everyone I have stuck to my guns and not gained it back Enjoy your life, you only get one!! It has been such a pleasure to watch you grow and blossom into a self confident independent person over the last few years!!!
    2188 days ago
  • LINDAK25
    Good for you! Love your updated page, too.
    2188 days ago
  • SUBMOM2
    emoticon emoticon emoticon Good for you!! Your attitude is wonderful! Thanks for inspiring me to focus not on my "failure" to reach goal, but all that I've accomplished on my health & fitness journey.
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    2188 days ago
  • KRICKET57
    Good for you! What a wonderful way to look at things. Keep up the good work!
    2188 days ago
  • MISCHAKEO
    Yes, you are keeping 80 pounds off. You are a success. You are also happy and enjoying your life. You will reach your goal in your own time. Nice blog.
    2188 days ago
  • MOONGLOWSNANA
    If your journey is a road trip you are at a rest area pausing for rest and refueling while checking your directions one more time before continuing on. You go Steph all in your own due time. Your ETA is whenever you arrive!
    2188 days ago
  • DAWNESS0404
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    2188 days ago
  • BABYBARNEY
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    Life is a beautiful balance between living a HEALTHY existence by the choices we make & experiences we have as well as the challenges we face along the way. emoticon
    2188 days ago
  • BETRHO48
    Well said! We should love ourselves no matter what we weigh and strive to get healthier.
    2188 days ago
  • BESSHAILE
    I'd say so too.

    And getting Pluto hugs as well.

    And Sparky - he thinks you're Perfect.

    It's always seemed to me that we're on TheQuest - and along the way healthy happy bodies are just one of the mountain peaks. there are other enormous things up ahead but you have to go through each one as it comes to you. The strength and wisdom you learn on your healthy body quest will prepare you for the other really cool things waiting up ahead.
    2188 days ago
  • DAKARISAH430
    Good for you! Live your best life now!
    2188 days ago
  • PURPLEGIRL22
    Keeping 80 lbs iff for 3 years is pretty darn good. You've created a strategy to incorporate fitness and mindfulness. And you've gotten to know yourself along the way. Ot sounds like you are pretty successful to me.
    2188 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    We know this is a life style change, but your so right about living life too, so if it takes longer to get to goal at least one hasn't closed the windows and locked the door on life. Having set backs is part of this journey too.
    2189 days ago
  • NASFKAB
    perfect way to answer all those questions take your time enjoying life is ore important you are awesome inspirational
    2189 days ago
  • AHTRAP
    You know the best part? You know when things are going off kilter, and you're able to nip that once runaway train in the bud, so that things don't get out of control. Hey, who knows, maybe you've reached your equilibrium, maybe you'll continue the journey down the scale tomorrow? But you're too smart/aware/awesome to ever go back.
    2189 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    emoticon You're emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • WHYTEBROWN
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    2189 days ago
  • BTRFLYDOG
    This is a journey and sometimes on the journey you need to stop and enjoy the view! you will get moving again when you are ready! Now is the moment to enjoy how far you have come. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • PENOWOK
    Love this blog!! You are SO right!! Perfect!!
    2189 days ago
  • ELSCO55
    emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    Awesome! Yes, like anything it is a process, and every process takes time, has periods where things don't move quick, but there is still forward movement.

    You are a very wise young lady!
    2189 days ago
  • TRAMEY6
    It's because it's a journey and if it was as simple as eating healthy and exercising, we would all be thin. There is so much more to this journey than eating and exercising. We are healing...our minds, bodies and spirits and that doesn't take 6 months, 1 year...it can take years! That's what I'm going to tell people when they ask me........
    2189 days ago
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