Why I'm Not At Goal Yet...
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
This started with me updating my opening on my Spark page, but I decided to share it in a blog as well.
6/17/15 - The true prize that no one tells you about is the sense of pride and happiness one can achieve after losing so much weight. We deserve to have confidence, love ourselves, and be happy at any size, but for some of us that is easier said than done. I spent so many years on the sidelines, watching everyone else live life. The weight only holds you back if you LET IT, and I let it for so many years. So many times in my head I would say "When I lose weight I will do X,Y,Z"! One of the saddest things is that the majority of those things had nothing to do with weight and everything to do with me and my lack of self confidence. Sure, there are SOME things that weight can hold you back from, example: If you want to go skydiving (I SURE DON'T LOL), and there is a weight limit and you are above that limit your weight is holding you back. But in a lot of cases it is your mind and how you feel about your weight that is the real cause. I let that happen for so many years.
So many people may look at me and wonder what's wrong with me. Why haven't I lost the rest of the weight yet? I've been at this a little over 3 years and I'm still not at goal. You want to know what's wrong with me? I'm happy and I'm awesome LOL! I am happy with myself, I am a caring and nice person (unless you piss me off), I have a great job and for the most part a great life. Are there parts of my body that I am not crazy about? Sure, my hanging stomach and crazy thighs for one thing, but does that affect who I am as a person! No! And that was my biggest problem as a 272 pound person, I allowed my weight to affect my self esteem, my self worth, and most importantly my happiness. I was so overweight that I thought I couldn't possibly be a good person, or wasn't worthy of being loved, or had no reason to be truly happy. But I am that same awesome person, just in a smaller body. It took me a year of losing weight, and 27 years on this planet to figure it out, but better later than never! (I'm now 29 btw, so I've had it figured out for a couple years now
So if you want to know why I'm not at goal, it is not because I'm a failure, it's not because I have given up, it's because I'm learning to enjoy life and live life along the way. I no longer put off experiences or become a hermit because I can't go out and socialize because there might be food. That is no way to live. I need to learn how to lose it and keep it off, and 3 years later I'm STILL down 80 pounds I would say I have learned how to keep it off!