Sometimes I really have to stop and ask myself "what are you doing?" Basically, I got back on track with partial motivation from a weight loss challenge at work. There are 3 rounds, and for the first 3 weeks I kicked butt, took names and lost 10 pounds through hard work and laser focus. Then we got weighed, I came in 2nd out of 7 people and was very pleased with that. But then there was a shift. Sort of like "oh great, this is over, now who cares?" Okay, so not only was that wrong (there was still 6 weeks left to the challenge at the time), but regardless of a challenge or no challenge, it was such a bad attitude on my part.
I have eaten so much junk from Monday all the way up until yesterday. Funnily enough, eating crap makes me feel like crap. I know this, yet I end up falling into the trap from time to time. The longer it goes on, the harder it is for me to crawl back out.
The only reason I agreed to do the weight loss challenge was because I was already working to get back on track, and I thought it would be fun and extra motivation. I assure you I did not join the challenge, with the idea of just trying to lose weight for 9 weeks and then going back to crap habits. My goal was to work on getting back to that sweet spot where healthy habits are so automatic I don't even have to think about it. Over 3 years on this journey I have been in the sweet spot plenty of times, for months at a time, but I need to get back there.
One of my all time favorite sweet spots was the 20 days I did the 21 day sugar detox. Yes, I'm still bummed I sold myself 1 day short, but I should have never agreed to a Disneyland trip on day 21.
I talk about that those 20 days as someone would talk about one of their fondest memories, with pride and longing to relive those moments.
The first few days were rough, as are any big adjustment, but soon I had more energy, fell asleep fast, stayed asleep and woke up rested.
My body felt great, I did lose weight at a pace I would on any "diet plan", there was no miracle weight loss or extreme dieting. I was eating healthy and feeling amazing. So why would I give that up? Why would I allow myself to go to the other extreme?
The answer is laziness. I am lazy, I can't even try to hide it. Eating in that way takes a lot of planning and preparation. You can't just grab processed junk from the freezer or stop at McDonald's when you are eating that way. It takes dedication and a lot of time. I do know there was a point where I got bored with what I was eating, but that was purely my fault. I was eating the easiest, quickest things, and not venturing out to some of the awesome recipes that I wanted to try. I still have them saved and as I prepare to start on Thursday, I am collecting as many as I can.
The trick this time is that I am not in this for 21 days, I'm really ready for that true shift in my eating. Am I a fool and thinking I will eat this way, 100% perfect all the time? Of course not. I'm human, and I'm going to screw up from time to time, eat something I shouldn't, eat too much, etc. It's going to happen. But by not looking at this as something I have to do and that I want to do, I am going to do my best to follow this way the majority of the time. I am not foolish enough to think I will never ever have a cookie or a cheeto again, but they can became that very rare occasional treat.
I will say I am not giving up my whole wheat, high fiber tortillas (no tortillas allowed on the plan), I am also not giving up my protein powder that I love that has 2 grams of sugar. If I am ever dying for a sandwich I may have a whole wheat sandwich thin... these are all "no no's" on a program, but here is the deal: If this was something I was going to do for 21 days and "quit", I could easily follow the plan to a T. But I am trying to customize this for me, for the long haul, so that I can feel good both mentally and physically. I am really excited about this, and I think I am truly ready. I think I am prepared, I have a lot of recipes to try and think I am going to find a lot of things that I ENJOY eating. That will be the trick to this, to make it something enjoyable that I want to do, not to have it be something I feel like I should do.
The only thing I'm kicking myself about now is why did I wait so long to get back to this?!