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Wanting maintenance but not quite there

Tuesday, June 09, 2015

I have been stressing lately about a lot of things I can not control and I have been over eating or eating to soothe which is a trigger to me that I am not healthy... coping poorly... and capable of returning to old habits that will increase my weight, decrease my quality of life, and hurt my self esteem among other things. It is like I am a passenger, just along for the ride but in reality I am the driver, the navigator of my journey. I am capable of making better choices. I have the ability to choose which way I want my life to go.

I keep coming back to my vision board and why I am here, trying again to get and stay healthy. I want health, I want less pain. I want quality of life but it occurs to me that while I strive for these things, I may not get these things. I can not control every thing in my life. I can only do one thing at a time and I can only manage one minute at a time. There are a bazillion decisions to be made on a daily basis, some without needing any thought and some needing thought then action. A good spark sister of mine is working on moderation and this seems like a good place to start again.

This is where my head is right now..... stressing over the future, wanting what I want and always hoping maintenance will be easy once I get there. I know this is a life long struggle for me and I always hope for the easier softer way, but I know in reality, I may have to fight on a daily basis or minute by minute basis to achieve what I feel I deserve and need.

Funny or not, how the fight is in my head. I am so worried about regaining weight back since I have a pattern of doing this yo-yo thing my whole life, that it is actually motivating me to move my body a bit more and I am researching the heck out of maintenance and how various members are doing it.

That is part of my stress today also. Some members share their trackers and I notice patterns of eating some junk foods with some good foods, eating only 500-1000 calories a day, exercising 3 hours a day, skipping meals, overeating some days, etc. After some thought, I realize these things are what work for them and probably would not work for me. I realize they are normal and may revert to old patterns of eating like many of us do, and maybe they do not have to log all their food anymore and really are not skipping meals or eating such low calories.

What I learned today was, it is ok to research and get ideas but I do not need to stress it. Everything is valid in it's own right. Every thing has a positive and negative and depending on where my head is. I just need to find the positives that will help me stay strong and push on in my journey. I did find some excellent blogs. I hope to get to this stage eventually and I hope I have as good of an attitude as some of these people at maintenance have. Until then, I push on to small goals that eventually lead into maintenance.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    YOU are going really well. I went to a hospital dietician and she gave me a calorie range of 1400- 2100 calories per day. She did say it would decrease as I lost weight. I am struggling right now and you blog is giving me hope!
    1374 days ago
  • SUNSHINE5268
    continuing with small goals that lead to maintenance one day... what an AMAZING concept... thank you for sharing that with us.... seriously.... its WONDERFUL and I am so happy for you emoticon
    1433 days ago
    There is some great advice here, especially working out a program of eating that suits you, not someone else. Having been at maintenance several times, and not managing to stay there for more than six months, I can tell you that for me, controlling my head and my emotional eating is my biggest issue. I do best eating 3 healthy meals a day with the occasional treat - it has taken years for this to really sink in!

    Thanks for the pep talk on my blog. I'm afraid to step on the scale when we return from this latest trip, LOL!

    Hope the finger is progressing and therapy is helping. Hugs.
    1450 days ago
    Great blog TC. You have to do it your own way. You have to be thinking what TC can have and what things have to be rare treat to enjoy and wait some time again when you know you are feeling in control.
    Thanks for reading my Blog. HUGS and much love Pat in Maine.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1467 days ago
  • SUNSHINE5268
    you sweet and lovely angel, hugsssssssssss what a touching, open and honest post... thank you for sharing and

    KNOW that you are not alone little one... we are right here with you,
    walking hand in hand in this journey, hugsssssssssssssss

    R>Thank you for touching so many peoples lives by posting on their sparkpage in an uplifting way, hugssssssssssssss emoticon

    1497 days ago
    Sometimes holding on is the best we can do.
    1528 days ago
    What a wonderful blog - and I love the image and thought that WE are each navigating our own journey and shouldn't just be along for the ride - lately i have been just riding along, but thanks to you, i'm going to put all my efforts into navigating instead!
    1530 days ago
  • BEBARB149
    Excellent way to think this thing through. We are individual. Guide lines and other people's experience are just that. You will find your balance. It won't be work free, ever, but it will be worth it. Decide what you want and what you need to do to get it, then live each day, do what needs to be done each day, and let tomorrow take care of itself.
    1530 days ago
    You are doing great !
    I know for myself ;... once when/if I reach my goal weight... it will take vigilance for ever & ever to maintain that goal. I was an active smoker. I stopped smoking 17 years ago. I do not want nor have any desire to smoke, but I also know that one puff/light-up of one cigarette and I will be an active smoker once again. So, I am sure that I will always need to be aware of what I am consuming for calories and what I am expending for calories... I may not have to be so very very aware as I am now, but it will always be like housework... no matter what you finished today, at least part of that will be unfinished by tomorrow.(housework is never truly totally done. Someone is dirtying dishes, clothes, floors, and dust is settling down on something, too!! just to name a few housework items.)
    sorry, didn't mean to write a mini-blog.
    1530 days ago
  • KAREN608
    Stress is certainly a real factor in life, and finding comfort in other things, not food seems to be a key for so many of us!
    1530 days ago
  • SUNSHINE5268
    (((((((( aaawww sweet angel.... please do not stress ))))))))))))

    first = I want you to know that you are NOT alone, we are here with you! emoticon

    second = I am PROUD of your accomplishments thus far and for those to come! emoticon

    Third = try to learn to ENJOY the journey...its a process and TOGETHER we can reach our goals... emoticon

    now go have fun! emoticon emoticon
    1530 days ago
    TC~~ you are my wee angel~~ and I am proud of how you have done till now!!

    emoticon with Mary....you cannot do what others do....you need to find your own way of getting this under control.
    I find that as soon as someone knows I am trying to lose some weight....They have ALL kinds of advice for me! Don't do this...DO that....
    ME??? I DO what Heather wants to do! emoticon emoticon

    AND YOU~~my girl have lost a ton of weight....so that means that YOU know what is best for TC....just relax and do your own thing luv~~xx
    1530 days ago
    What works for some may not work for you and vice versa. We all need to find our balance....and inner peace.

    I am proud of you...you have come so far....

    and in all reality....it truly is a never ending learning game.

    I am always cheering you on....I am in your corner.
    1531 days ago
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