The enemy between my ears
Monday, June 08, 2015
Yep, you read it right lol. The voices in my head really got to me yesterday in regard to our situation. So here's a run down:
I left my office job in 2013 to pursue a career in pastry
I was fired from that job in June 2014
Took a new position in September 2014
I quit thank job in February after some changes and childish behavior on managements part
I could not find anything full time so I accepted a part time job
DH searched for and accepted a position in TX
So what happened.
Well Texas is wonderful, DH loves his job but he is in the oil industry which is seriously affected b price, supply and demand. Price per barrel goes down, so does production/work. In the last few weeks we're lucky if he has worked 4 full days. On top of that his employer and the owner of the cabins had a falling out so the cabin rent is no longer being deducted from his check which is ok, we can work with that. However a communication error led to us scrambling for money to pay the first weeks rent and potential lose of a vehicle we were trying to purchase. We thankfully managed to cover two weeks.
Now DH is working a job as a sand truck driver because production in the oil industry is low there isn't enough work. Problem with this is that 1) he's away which is no biggy because he's been an over the road driver most of the time we've been together, 2) many communication issues have lead to frustration, irritation and 3) the way sand truck drivers are paid leaves him with a lot of unpaid time which could be problem-matic.
Through all of this I had been doing good with clean eating and exercise and staying on track which was great. However yesterday while talking wit DH I expressed a few things that lead to the monster in my head, more commonly known as the enemy between my ears, running amuck and I over did it. Now it was nothing compared to my old habits or pattern but it was enough that my belly is still unhappy this evening.
I took my movies back to Redbox and picked up a bag of Lays BBQ chips because I had a block of cream cheese here and they are just yummy together. Then I stopped at DQ for dinner and got a chicken finger and fry basket with a small salted caramel blizzard, not so bad. My usual Sunday with DD, was a cheat day with Red Robin bottomless root beer floats plus fries and usually later pizza, so the DQ wasn't the end of the world. What got me was that I ate half the bag of chips plus the whole, I mean the whole block of cream cheese with it. To stop myself after the cheese was gone I got up an dumped the remaining chips into the trash.
Today I am back on track.
Push up challenge done
Burpee challenge done
Plank challenge done
Food, its a work in progress because my gut is not happy and I am no hungry but I am working on fueling myself as best I can.
Emotional eating, the enemy of negative talk between ones ears, can do a lot of damage to your goals, your self-esteem, etc however if we are aware of it and work on personal development, putting an end to those voices, taking control of what you truly can control and letting the rest go you can curb it.
My hope in sharing is that it helps someone else deal with their own issues. It isn't easy for any of us but you know what YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!