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Learning About My Regain...

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Thursday, June 04, 2015

In all my past weight loss attempts, regain was what happened when I'd lost quite a bit of weight, 20-40 pounds, got stuck, got frustrated, gave up and regained ALL the weight, PLUS more. That was the only way I understood weight loss journeys. The people that lost their weight, got to goal, and maintained seemed like unicorns, they didn't seem like they could be real.

When I joined Spark in 2009, I saw that they weren't unicorns, they were actually real people that worked very hard to lose their weight and keep it off. I was so lucky to become Spark friends with some incredible people, and them giving that friendship and support back really cemented the fact that they were REAL, hard working people... and that if I tried hard enough I could be one of them someday.

So on this journey, that I started in March of 2012, regain took on a whole knew meaning. Regain was no longer gaining all the weight back. It was regaining some, realizing what was happening, and doing something to turn it around.

I have come to find out that 185 is my comfortable weight. Life isn't totally emoticon's and emoticon's at that weight, but it was good enough for me to feel like I could let my guard down. I regained from 185 up to as high as 199, then to go back down. Getting right to the boarder of Twoterville was enough to get me turned around and going in the right direction again. My lowest weight to date is 181, but I was that weight for literally 2 seconds. My lowest maintainable weight (that I saw for more than a day LOL) was 185. So I have regained 10-15 pounds multiple times, only to have to lose them again.

What I am realizing is that being comfortable doesn't mean I have to regain. How are all those people maintaining their goal weights? No doubt they are comfortable and PROUD of being at their goal weights, and they want to stay there. But they manage to maintain and stay on top of things. For some reason, I get to 185 and think *phew*, I can slack off again. I wind up quitting counting calories, portion control and I end up turning to more junk food than I would be eating if I were actively trying to lose. When I do that, I am doing all the habits that lead me to be 272 pounds. That's not okay. If I get comfortable at 185 and want a break, okay fine. But a break should mean MAINTAINING that weight. Not eating everything til I hit 199 and the alarm sounds and I go back to work.

Finally realizing this and now writing this out is going to help me more than you can imagine. I had to see first hand what I was doing so that I could correct it. I do want to go farther than 185, I want to see what 170 feels like. I might even dip my toe into 160ville, I want to experience all of these things. But going "on and off" all the time is getting me nowhere. Whether it's losing weight or maintenance, it requires diligence and hard work!

So regardless of my weight, and whether I am at a place where I want to lose or where I just want to hang out at a weight, it still requires portion control, calorie counting (my preferred method), exercise and a healthy attitude. It does not mean to go off track and eat everything until it's time to get back to it. A day off where you can eat whatever and not worry about it is okay from time to time... but not for several weeks that send you up 10 pounds!

Just when I thought I had learned enough about myself to get to goal, and stay there... I realize there is always so much more to learn. emoticon
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  • no profile photo CD17102076
    1725 days ago
    Thank you for sharing your journey
    Have been on that journey for many years
    thank you for the inspiration to try one more time
    One day at a time God Bless Peace
    2007 days ago
    Thank you for sharing and putting into words exactly what it is that I do to myself over and over again. emoticon emoticon
    2147 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15502456
    Hello! YOUR STORY IS MY STORY---I feel the same way! Why does food have to feel so good that we want more and more? I wish that wasn't so. I hope my post here finds you in a happy place of shedding the weight and feeling great. And know that your blog has inspired me to KEEP GOING and not fall off the wagon for more than a day or two. I must put healthy food in the fridge to put a healthy attitude out into the world. emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Best wishes on your good health journey!

    2147 days ago
  • no profile photo KIRBYCV
    I had to look twice to see if my name was the writer of this note. Thank you for expressing what I have been going through for longer than I want to admit. I don't understand why I sabotage myself every time I get try to lose weight. Your note offered much understanding and motivation. Thank you.
    2164 days ago
  • QUAIL75
    emoticon emoticon
    2169 days ago
    Ok, it was like I wrote this blog! I have been having the same thoughts, just haven't written them down, so thank you for writing! I keep losing the same few pounds too. I am actually at the point right now that I am ready to give up and go back to the old habits because they are so much easier and sometimes more fun! I am trying to get through this slump though and catch my second wine, and your blog helped, thank you! emoticon
    2171 days ago
    Thank you for sharing your story. I have finally realized I have a similar problem. All of the advise says to think and act like I am the weight I want to be. For me that meant that I can "splurge" without repercussion (after all, I am the perfect weight right?). Now I have had the epiphany that what this really means is daily choices of eating right and exercising. I can not "maintain" my "new" weight by reverting to my old behaviors. Thinking and acting like I am the perfect weight means making better choices each and every day until "better choices" becomes my standard way of life.

    Good Luck to us all on our Weight Loss/New Life journeys :-)
    2171 days ago
    What an excellent blog! You are doing great, and have learned so much!! Keep up your incredible journey...you can do it.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2172 days ago
  • 911BABE
    Congratulations on your weight loss accomplishments. I found myself facing the same challenges of reaching my ideal weight then getting comfortable and slacking off. Thanks for this very inspiring post.
    2172 days ago
    Great topic, thanks for that!
    2172 days ago
  • UNIQUE55
    I also seem to be losing the very 2-3 pounds all the time!!!! I could have lost 50 pounds by now...
    2172 days ago
    emoticon Did you ever hit the nail on the head with this blog! What a great analogy - weight loss maintainers and unicorns!

    You made so many points I can relate to; bet there are a lot of out there. I'd say good luck to you, but we know that getting healthy doesn't involve luck, just persistence!

    2173 days ago
    You are soooooooooo right. Thanks for sharing. I have been running into the same problem for months now myself. emoticon emoticon
    2173 days ago
  • MUNKIN2014
    I felt as if I could have written this. I too have gone from 279 to 185 and back again. I don't know why I keep this cycle going, but it needs to stop. I love that you inspired me to start again on Sparkpeople. I need to read your post often for encouragement. THANK YOU!!! emoticon
    2173 days ago
    Keep on truckin' in your weight loss/maintenance journey! By articulating your concerns to the community, you've acknowledge the challenge of maintaining a healthy weight and are on your way to maintain it with the community's support.
    2174 days ago
    Great blog! Glad you're sharing what you've learned with the rest of us! Including the honesty we all need to give ourselves sometimes.
    2174 days ago
    Thanks for sharing. I find myself in a similar position. I lost 45 lbs and wanted to slow the process, reduce my exercise & eat some carbs...slowly the weight is creeping back. I'm not in a panic yet. I'm trying to get back on plan.
    2174 days ago
  • SOFT_VAL67
    I call it, regain mountain, you know when you think you have a foothold and you take two or three steps then the rocks slip under your feet and you slide back down four!!!
    I am in the midst of regain, from a total loss of 70 pounds, to a regain of 20. and trying ever so hard to bridge the gap before it goes any higher.
    2174 days ago
    I have "regained" and I'm right back where I started. So frustrating!! Your blog is insightful and I encourage you to keep going!! emoticon You can do this!!
    2174 days ago
  • MISSM66
    emoticon emoticon thank you for sharing emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2175 days ago
    You sound just like me. Up and down, up and down. Time to stop and take controll. I loved your blog and wish you the best of luck. I too know that it is hard work and not something you can just take a vacation from. I have found as I have gotten older it is a lot harder than I thought (66). But I won't give up and hope you won't either. emoticon

    2175 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15600987
    This is great you are awesome keep going. I am having great difficulty.
    2175 days ago
    emoticon , emoticon , emoticon & emoticon blog! emoticon for sharing your blog with me! Everyone has done this before. I lost 40 lbs. Then I came to Spark, & I did what they said as for as eating the fruits & veggies, eating 7 ounces of protein a day, eating breads, & drinking 3 milks a day! I gained 5 lbs. Then I started eating Weight Watchers meals and now I've gone from 193.6 to 193.2. So I've lost 1/2 lb. Yeah. That's this week! I was so happy! lol! I'm not saying that's what every one should do, it's working for me. It's cheaper too. I eat the meals twice a week usually, I cook once a week. Have a Super & Blessed Weekend!
    2175 days ago
    Thank you for articulating what I could not. I'm in that exact place right now and trying to figure a way out. Thank you for sharing, it really helped me!
    2175 days ago
    thank you for addressing this emoticon
    2175 days ago
    Thanks for the share. You are are awesome! emoticon
    2175 days ago
    Thank you for sharing the exact situation I am in; my weight is 185, and I have been maintaining that weight for too long, considering I still need to get to the 160s!
    2175 days ago
  • PEGGIE0203
    You go, girl! It sounds like you are on the right track. Keep up the good work.
    2176 days ago
  • MARYM1962
    I know how you feel - at least with me my gain is only about 5 pounds - but I can't seem to break the 160 barrier I have managed to get to 158 a time or 2, but that was it - I usually hover between 161 and 164 and have for more than a year now. - the problem - I am 5 feet 2 - even at the best "ideal" I should be between 115 and 125 - and I have 125 as my goal weight, just can't seem to bust that barrier.
    2176 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13440764
    I feel like your twin! So much of your story, weight numbers, etc are mine, too. Will try harder- -thanks for the encouragement :)
    2176 days ago
    emoticon Yep, apparently we can never slack off or the weigh will come back1 That's been my experience, anyway. It's a lifestyle, not a diet.

    emoticon Guess that's why it's so important to find a way of living that we enjoy doing every day.

    emoticon that you've found a weight that is comfortable for you and are maintaining... or learning to maintain it. You're succeeding at THE toughest part of weight loss.

    2176 days ago
  • MAYIE53
    Very insightful blog. The journey never ends; hopefully one just gets smarter and HEALTHIER along the way. You are doing GREAT! emoticon
    2176 days ago
  • no profile photo TABIA57
    Thank you for that reminder, i too have had that happen to me and felt demoralized by the regaining of the weight. I'm learning that getting back and remaining on point about maintaining is what is important!! Stay the course.
    2176 days ago
  • no profile photo BESSARI
    Reading your post has encourage me to continue on with my journey of losing weight and I wish you the best of luck with yours as well. emoticon
    2176 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/10/2015 12:00:33 PM
  • BABA5013
    Thank you for sharing. I am in the same boat. You've inspired me to get back on track.
    2176 days ago
    Wow. This is my second day back on spark after a several year hiatus . I identify so much with this blog. In 2004 i finally got down to 183 from a high weight of 286 and told myself 'if i never lose another pound I'd be happy at this weight'. The problem was i didn't stay at 183. Yesterday my weight was 244. Thanks for sharing this blog. I love to see that there is hope for me through people like you. Good luck on your journey . emoticon
    2176 days ago
  • LUVS2BIKE101
    2176 days ago
  • PFERG66
    Beautiful insightful blog. What a helpful thing you've done here: many, many people will benefit from you taking the time to put in words what a lot of us have experienced--are experiencing right now.
    2176 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15630840
    Hits home for me!
    2176 days ago
    I feel the same way, lose a few then gain even more. I am in week 4 of healthy eating. It has been a struggle just to even want to try. I would try then overeat then just give up. For me to have made it to week 4 is a big leap. I have and am still learning to do it my way. By that I mean not to jump on every weight loss idea, to decide what I can live with and stick to it.
    still need to add exercise but instead of beating myself up about it, I just stay busy and know that the day will come when adding exercise will be another leap I conquer. You are doing great and inspire me to do more
    2176 days ago
    A thoughtful, insightful post.... thank you!
    2176 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13860463
    I'm so excited about this blog. I have been diagnosed with a thyroid condition known as graves desease and have gone from a size 6 to a 14. My doctor seems to think it is from over eating. I appreciate your comments and will now try to count every thing I put in my mouth. I have been so discouraged until I read this blog. Thanks and continue the good work.
    2176 days ago
  • no profile photo CORNYMUSCLES57
    Keep up the good work. You are so encouraging emoticon
    2176 days ago
    I think we have all been there. It is great to know we have a wonderful Spark support team. emoticon if we emoticon Have a great day
    2176 days ago
    I can definitely relate to your story. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. They have made me reevaluate how to achieve my goal weight. emoticon
    2176 days ago
    Whoa! This is exactly what I needed to read at this moment in my life. Struggling with about 15 yo-yo pounds & beating myself up. This gives me such encouragement to jump right back in the losing game. Thank you for posting. emoticon
    2176 days ago
    Wonderful blog!!!! Thank you for sharing a struggle that I am familiar with. You have encouraged me!!!! emoticon
    2176 days ago
  • no profile photo LAYUH185
    Well said....you have not only inspired me but so made me feel less alone in this....thank you!
    2176 days ago
    2176 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.