I know I just said Friday that I was going to make blogging a daily habit, and here it is Monday and I'm going to change that already. It will be weekdays only, no weekends. They are just too unpredictable for me at this time. So since it's my goal, I guess I can change it if I want.
Yesterday was the bridal shower for my beautiful Maggie May. She tells me no, she's not beautiful, that I am just prejudiced. She's right. I do have a very biased opinion, and what mother does not think her child is beautiful? However, I'm sure you'll agree with me when you see the pictures I add at the bottom of this blog.
Ms. Maggie is beautiful inside and out. There were over 50 people at her bridal shower who would attest to that. She is very sensitive, both in how easily she feels hurt, and how she feels for others. She doesn't want to disappoint or cause stress for anyone. I wish I could convince her of how strong she is, how much fun she is. However, she's a lot like her mama. Most of these traits of hers were inherited from me. I don't like me in pictures; she doesn't like herself in pictures. When she looks in the mirror, she sees her flaws; when I look in the mirror, I see dark circles and look old and tired.
I am slowly learning to accept myself, with the help of my sweet husband, and also as I get older I forgive myself much easier than I did when I was younger. I didn't have much self-esteem until after I was 40. It's been a long, uphill climb to where I am now. However, I am still learning that I am more than just okay; I am a strong and capable woman. There's still that little girl inside of me that is unsure, though.
Age and time will teach her the same lessons, I hope. That cute little apple didn't fall far from this tree; that's for sure! I doubt that she will understand how precious she is to me until she has her own daughter. This grandma would love to have a large bunch of grandkids, right now I have five, and Maggie says they're probably only having one. So I guess I need to pray for at least twins! I would love for her to have the chance to be the mama of at least one of each, since raising boys and girls are such different experiences, in my eyes. I don't believe either one is "easier;" it is just different.
All of this can only be left in God's hands. He is more than capable of ordering the steps of her days, the family that she will have, and the lessons she will learn. I pray that both Maggie and Jeff seek to live a life that's fully dependent on and trusting in the God who loves them both more than I do. Funny, isn't it, how everything in life comes down to trusting God to handle everything. I say I believe Him, but if I had total trust, I wouldn't worry ever. I'm sure glad that it's like the old Sunday School song: "He's still working one me."
Maggie is in the flowered dress, and her matron of honor is in the green blouse.
The happy couple
I'm in the orange and my daughter-in-love is the dark-haired beauty. She's half Phillipino.
Maggie and Jeff and her step-mother, Diane
Myself, Maggie, and Judy, her mother-in-love to be (taken in 2013)