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De-stressing in Writing

Monday, April 27, 2015

Good morning spark friends. I hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine was…sad, happy with the kids…but otherwise stressful. Ughhh…I guess there is some freedom in writing and getting things off of your chest. For a long time now my husband and I have not been getting along. We’ve started dating each other when I was 16, and I think over the years we have just grown apart. We don’t agree on the same things, we don’t like the same things, and we argue constantly. When we are together it feels like I’m constantly worried about saying something that gets on his nerves, and he’s the same way around me. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great person, a great father, but simply put it feels like if we had met as adults, we totally wouldn’t have anything to do with that person.

We are always trying to do things with each other to pretend this chasm doesn’t exist, plus we don’t want the kids to see it and we are always doing stuff as a family. But usually a week doesn’t go by without one of us inadvertently causing a fight for some reason. So this weekend…

Friday, because my treadmill was still broken, I decided to do an Insanity workout. I hadn’t done those in a while and my muscles made me pay for that. I guess that means I need to do more of those! Anyway, I’m still sore! Because I was telecommuting that day my husband and I decided to meet up at a restaurant for dinner before we picked up the kids from daycare. We almost had a nice dinner, and then I apparently said something wrong which got on his nerves, so since we were in separate cars on the way home it festered and I called him up and tore him a new one.

Saturday my husband wanted to stay home and paint my son’s room, which was good because I didn’t want to deal with him anyways and force politeness in front of the kids. So I had a great day out with the kids. I took them to swim lessons, and then we went to the movies and watched “Home”, and then I took them out for ice cream. It was a fun Saturday. When I got home my husband had fixed the treadmill which I was happy about, I was worried it was a goner. Because of the fight the night before me and my husband basically ignored each other.

Sunday morning I woke up and ran 13.5 miles on the treadmill. After I do those long runs it really wipes me out. My legs are normally shaking afterwards and I normally don’t want to do much the rest of the day. I guess that means I’m not really trained up enough, but I’m working on it. Anyway, after my run I was sitting on the couch drinking water and watching tv while the kids were outside and my husband snapped at me, “I guess you are not going do anything today!”. I understand he’s just itching to fight…but all this stress when I’m around him is just completely exhausting me and wearing me down.

Anyway…sorry for the dramatic blog…guess I just needed to get that off of my chest a bit….In the meantime there is something to be said sometimes for getting back to work and the routine, although I do miss spending the days with my kids. Have a great week everyone!
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  • no profile photo CD13423552
    Sorry you guys are having a rough time. You have been together a long time and people change and sometimes they change in different directions. Have you considered counseling? Anyway, glad the treadmill is fixed! I'm sure he is probably feeling a little neglected with your running, not sure if that is part of it. But you need to do things for you.
    2279 days ago
    Well, no matter how hard you try to hide the strife from your kids, they are going to, if they haven't already, pick up on it! I have no idea about your situation, finances, etc., but in the long run it will be better for the 2 of you to separate. All you are doing now is teaching your boys how to get along in a bad relationship. I'm not saying to just throw in the towel, but maybe check into couples counseling. Children always know more than we give them credit for. That's all I'm saying. sorry! I don't mean to butt into your business, but I worry for you and for your boys. Living life on tiptoes is no way to live! You need to be the best mother you can be for them and you can't do that with things the way they are! But, on a side note.... Glad your treadmill is fixed and hopefully your allergies are under control a bit better! Sorry life has been so unhappy for you. But, running and insanity will surely help the emotions (esp. the anger) and the body! Wishing you some peace!!
    2279 days ago
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