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OLIVIANIGHT

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Oh dear

Wednesday, April 08, 2015

I knew it was a bad idea. I knew I would regret it. But I did it anyway. After 2 weeks of taking it easy to get over my virus, this morning I stepped on the scale. I saw 12 stone and my heart plummeted. I never ever wanted to see that number again.

Of course this sent my mind off into a spiral of remembering how some of my clothes don’t quite fit as well as I’m used to, and how my stomach stuck out over the table last night, and thinking that I shouldn’t have eaten this or that or the other, and should have tried harder and done more and, and, and…

It’s just 5lbs, I’ve lost more than that before, and now I’m back to full health I know it will melt away again pretty quick. But still I’m having to try very hard not to panic. My tactic is to keep repeating good things to myself until the panic goes away:

You cannot weigh beauty.

My looks are not the measure of my worth.

I could weigh 20 stone and I would still be a beautiful person, inside and out.

You is kind, you is smart, you is important.

I am strong.

I can do freaking pull-ups – I’m amazing!

I just bought myself a bike; I never stop switching things up. I will never stop improving myself.

I am enough.

I am so much more than my weight.

I can do this.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LDYSABELLA
    You've done great stopping yourself from going into a tail spin over the scale. You know what to do and have a plan. I hope many wonderful days are ahead of you for riding.
    2301 days ago
  • CHODGES83
    Your positivity it heartwarming! Beautiful inside and out!
    2306 days ago
  • SUNNYBEACHGIRL
    I think there are 5 lb blocks floating around and when someone else lose one it goes and finds a new host. Like a sci fi movie plot. Let's lose ours and send it off an an underweight person. But it is important to health to keep it up
    2306 days ago
  • LUNARRACOON
    Personally, I wouldn't be surprised if some of this weight just comes off naturally as a by product of you getting healthy again. Being sick causes the body to do crazy things-- retaining water and nutrients to give your body more fuel to fight off the virus. You say you feel better now-- but that might mean that your body is winning the fight-- and is still dealing with the remnants of the cold itself.

    I think the scale is fibbing you a bit.
    2307 days ago
  • LDYHAZ
    You are Beautiful!!
    2307 days ago
  • GOLFGMA
    You will rid those 5 lbs before you know it with a little extra time in workouts! emoticon
    2307 days ago
  • GARDENCHRIS
    emoticon emoticon give yourself a bit of a break, now get back to it.
    2307 days ago
  • ALL4BMI
    Yes you can! We can!
    2307 days ago
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