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Hope IS stronger...

Sunday, March 22, 2015

I saw this a few minutes ago and it kind of punched me in the gut. I've been thinking about fear a lot lately. The following quote I wrote down out of a book (maybe by Emerson? not positive) "He who is not every day conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life." And while I wouldn't go quite that far, it got me thinking about fear. My biggest fears? Something happening to my kids. Being in a car crash. Losing my freedom. But I think another fear has something to do with losing weight. And I can't quite put my finger on it. However, I do know that my brain knows what I need to do to lose weight. Every day I'm reading articles here on Spark with more great advice and tips. And some days I do real well. My exercise is right on, my eating is good and my calories are in check. Then there are the days when the stresses of life are getting to me - having another hard time with my daughter so last night when Ed & I were out I bought a brownie. He says, "isn't there sugar in that?!" ... knowing I've been cutting out sugar. And I said "Yep, and I'm going to enjoy every bite". And don't you know, I did. And then wanted something else. It fueled a bad thing in me. Dratted sugar. Anyway, the point is, I knew the sugar would be bad for me. I knew it would fight against what I'm trying to accomplish. I knew all that. But I did it anyway. Stress eating. Emotional eating. Boredom eating. Stupid eating :)

Okay, so I get that there is a psychological thing that causes us to give in to those types of eating. But I also wonder how much is an inner fear. One that I can't quite put my finger on. Because seriously, why in the hell would I be afraid to lose weight? That's all I've wanted to do since I was 16. I want to be healthy. I want to have a flat stomach. I want to have tons of energy and ability to do crazy things. But is there some deep seated fear that is silently holding me back? Possibly helping me to sabotage myself? Well, I don't know. I guess I fear that I will fail - again. Maybe that's part of my fear too - having others see me fail - again. And again. So it could be that or something else.

But - hope is stronger than fear. I believe that. And it will be my new mantra (that list is getting real long!!!) We all have it in us to accomplish what we aim to do. We are all capable of shedding the excess weight and then keeping it off. Sure, it's tough, but at least we've got each other. It definitely helps having friends stand by us as we fight this battle every day.

It's the beginning of a new week. My goal is to do something every day to help me start losing weight again. Take one day at a time. Go to bed at night feeling proud of what we've accomplished that day. Thank you friends for being here with me & for me ~ you guys are the bestest!!!
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  • no profile photo CD8054794
    emoticon I've wondered that same exact thing... In a way, I feel safe at this weight. No guy is going to stalk me, and try to kidnap me from a grocery store parking lot.

    When I was 19 years old, I was 97 lbs, and was face to face with a rapist. Luckily something stopped him from attacking me, but he was arrested a few days later and charged with 6 rapes of college girls at the university, tried & convicted.

    But there are other types of fears, like you mentioned...the fear of failing and having other people notice.

    I believe we can overcome that fear and be all that God has planned for us to be.

    We just need to lean on each other here, and know that we can ALL do this! I see it being done every day by many many people. It can be done, and it WILL.

    2044 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    I think my biggest fear is "will I be able to do this for the rest of my life?" Can I stay as active as I am right now for years to come? I think I can, but we never know exactly what life holds in store for us!
    Great blog, it really made me think about why we have fear when it comes to weight loss and maintaining our loss!
    Keep up the great work!
    2044 days ago
    what a great blog to start the week - thank you for your inspirational insight! hope is indeed greater than fear...
    2045 days ago
    Great motto! Sometimes I think we fear losing weight because deep inside we know that it won't "fix" everything. Losing weight isn't a "cure all," but it can lead to other good things. Feeling stronger, feeling accomplished, feeling a bit better about ourselves.

    However, it doesn't solve all our problems. Many think everything will fall into place once the weight falls off. We still need to be happy with ourselves, content in our own skin, and know that we can be strong NOW.

    Keep at it and thanks for the blog. Hope is a great thing. With hope emoticon !
    2045 days ago
    You've recognized your fears and that is awesome! That will help you to overcome them and recognize when they are trying to sabotage you. I've got a huge amount of faith in your ability to do this!
    2045 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15169916
    Hi Diane,
    I spent so much time trying to figure out the WHY, that I eventually realized that trying to figure it out, was causing me to procrastinate. Even if I don't know the reasons, I know I still need to do something about the problem. It feels better to do the right things, eating properly, exercising, because I am not mentally beating myself up. It creates a positive atmosphere and then that snows balls into being stronger, making better choices, realizing I have control. I spent so many YEARS trying to find the right diet, the right program I could follow. I used to work in the medical field and one of the Dr.'s I worked for told me "Nancy, it doesn't MATTER which diet you follow, just pick ONE and STICK WITH IT", they will all work. For the first time on Sparkpeople I got a "Consistency" award. It blew my mind, because I finally started sticking with something!

    Warmly, Nancy
    2045 days ago
    I love hope is stronger than fear. Wonderful quote. There is a real fear of failure but it can be overcome with a belief in yourself and a hope for the future. Well written blog.
    2045 days ago
    Thank you Diane for sharing EXACTLY what I needed this Monday morning. Thanks to you I am gonna let the hope push away the fear. Wishing us all a wonderful week filled with accomplishments and good feelings! emoticon
    2045 days ago
    This quote couldn't be more true! Fear of failure can be a destructive emotion but just the slightest hope of success can really make the difference.
    Your blog was the spark I needed today to write my own thoughts on this subject and blog again after a long time. How can I thank you?
    Hang in there, sparkfriend! One day at a time, one meal at a time, one workout at a time, we'll get to our destination.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2045 days ago
    For me it wasn't until I took a bite of that brownie and spit it out. A light bulb went off- I don't like brownies any more. I had hoped someday I wouldn't. But I never truly believed.

    It took a lot of work tho. Look at everything we fight against! My mom says brownies are good, my kids love brownies, people ask me to make my brownie recipe, TV shows have brownies to die for! Yet we know this is lies. Brownies sadly can kill, especially if you are type 2. And I developed Type 2 from brownies! (and sugar and flour)

    There is no brownie or sugar substitute that can make me feel like I'm eating one. It took a lot of time to realize that. But that's o.k. I can't buy the lie anymore.
    Hope tells you that eating real food, healthy food that you will feel better. You will lose weight. It's not a diet its our new life style!
    So many sweet sparkers here have won the battle- there is hope- we will too!

    2045 days ago
    Completely with you. Every day is a mix of hope and fear for me as well. Hope in the morning and fear at night. What an endless cycle.

    Like you, I am baffled by my tendency to stall. The formula is so simple--burn more calories than you take in, and you will lose weight! I can do this for several days, and then something snaps and I reverse course. Weird, weird, weird. Really, sometimes I feel almost as if it's my RESPONSIBILITY to remain fat, and a binge will take on the feel of a job, something I have always done and which I have a duty to continue.

    But hope always comes back. It's morning here now, and I'm feeling it again. I will do my best again today and try very hard from now on to make each streak of healthy eating days long enough that it someday becomes a habit for which I'm 100 percent responsible.

    Great blog, Diane!
    2045 days ago
    Okay, check out some of the blogs by SPer FEEDTHEHUNGER... She's all about this. She has had some incredible reflections on the fears associated with losing weight. There are tons of reasons... Not being sure who I am if I were at goal weight. What excuses do I have left for not being a resounding success in all aspects of life if even the weight is gone? People might take me too seriously if I were slim... What excuse do I have for feeling unloveable if I am not overweight? I dunno. They differ for each of us. But examining themi s important work... And hard work.
    2045 days ago
  • LOSINGIT26104
    Hang in there. We just have to get through one day and then we'll be on our way again.
    2045 days ago
  • _BABE_
    We are in the same boat. emoticon

    The knowledge is there, the motivation too!

    However, sometimes in a weak moment we succumb to what has been our pleasure centre for as long as we can remember. I don't believe it's a real case of sabotage but just a muscle that needs to be exercised even more than our attention to any weights or cardio.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    2046 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10895053
    Hope is definitely one of the most beautiful things that we can have. That we can really have within our hands and to use it to become real. I know exactly what your one fear is with losing weight, and that's of gaining it back. Yep, been there and done that. So yes, I know about reality when it comes to fear. To lose a grasp of that hope and with reality and just let things go sideways. Not a good thing and we do have power over it with holding onto that hope. I have it once again in my hands and I know that you do too, and we can make this a reality with it and lose and lose until we're healthy. I know all about sugar too and that's one of my downfalls. If I have a little bit, I want more and more. It's an addiction. It's around us in the stores all the time and especially with each and every holiday. Here we go again! Temptation! Those sugar-free Hershey's don't quite do it either! I know that I do love fruit more than I used to. I love to chew Bazooka bubble gum too, and I know that it's sugar, but not a whole lot and it keeps me chewing and not eating other sugars or chips, or just plain bad stuff! Loving you, Diane and you and I can do it! This coming Spring, we'll be walking and walking more too, and just plain moving more!!

    Karen emoticon
    2046 days ago
    Great blog today, Twesten! :)

    You're right - there are so many fears associated with weight loss - will I lose? Can I lose? Can I keep it off? Is it all too much for me? Will I ever get past temptation? What happens in future?

    Take it one day at a time. Life without hope AND fear would be a pale imitation of all the experiences we have. This is your brain catching up with the loss you've had already and giving you guidance for the future. :)

    On the subject of the sugary treats - buy it, get hubby or the kids to eat all but one bite and give it to you when they've finished. Pleasurable eating, no possibility of seconds. Somewhere down the line we have to learn to enjoy foods that are largely forbidden while we're shedding weight. You can't avoid them forever, so you need to build that plan to include them in small ways, and then make adjustments with what you eat for the rest of the day.

    If you're a brownie addict, consider ordering some of the Chocolate Fudge Brownie protein shake from Chocolite (Healthsmartfoods dot com). It really nails the craving for the flavours in the brownie without the carbs or sugar load, but guarantees you a nice protein hit as a meal replacement. :)
    2046 days ago
    What about your life do you expect to change with your change in weight?
    What do you fear MIGHT change with your change in weight?
    I know a lady whose husband married a 'round' lady and didn't want a thin wife... I believe his fear was that if she were thin ... she wouldn't want him any longer... We all have fears,,, and sometimes we are impacted by the fears of others.
    2046 days ago
    This is so honest and beautiful and I think you are hitting on something - I know what you mean in a way, but can't put my finger on it either....
    2046 days ago
    Hello Sweetness! Just on my way OUT AGAIN, but saw this and want you to know you will find your answers. You know, you are such a beautiful young woman. With or without the weight, but I wonder if your fear of positive attention is almost as bad as negative attention. You know, everybody looking at you commenting on how great you look now that you have lost so much weight, the guys hitting on you when you are out with your friends. YEAH....it will happen and the ability to stay slender when you reach your goal, the fear of going backwards again. Who knows, but we cannot let that stop us from trying. Thanks for sharing some of your inner thoughts today, I look forward to coming home and rereading this again! Love ya, Nora
    2046 days ago
    Wishing you an abundance of hope - emoticon
    2046 days ago
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