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MALEXANDER4
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It is now or never!

Sunday, March 22, 2015

I haven't done a blog since January 1st. Why you may or may not wonder? Because I have not done what I set out to do. Nope nada, nothing, zip, zero. I'm over my beginning weight some years ago on Spark, What does that mean really? In truth? It means I gave up on myself and any goals I may have set. So today I have reset a few things, updated my spark page, and really just decided I don't like where I'm at right now. I'm not in a good place for my weight or for my mind. But then again they go hand in hand.

There is this saying about: Well I'm here to tell you that is the Gods honest truth. Oh I get my walks in, I'm on that treadmill, exercise bike, and I even have a outdoors bike now, but none of that matters if your not willing to put the work in where it is needed. Right inside your own home.

I know change is good, i've seen it happen. Not just to others but to myself also. But did I learn from it? Well obviously not. I'm sitting here unhappy, disappointed, and just plain uncomfortable. Nothing worse than grabbing clothes out for the spring and getting ready in the morning and wondering " are these going to fit still". Most often they don't. And to anyone who has been there done that you know it can be heartbreaking to have the reality of your failures slap you while your down. Now we can sit here and say that we shouldn't talk bad about ourselves, or we can face the truth, pick our butts up off the floor, and get back to taking care of ourselves. No more lies, excuses, half-assed moments. Nope not here not now. The truth can hurt and i'm hurting but from reality of what i've done to myself. Because lets be honest, I did this to me. Nobody forced that food into my mouth, nobody shopped for me, nobody made me sit in the chair all day and watch tv when I could of been doing something to help myself.

Truth is a harsh thing. But in the end what do you really have but the truth. They say it shall set you free so here goes. Maybe this time around it will stick.

Michelle.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DEBSZOO74
    Hang in there! Tomorrow is emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1931 days ago
  • JLOVESDOGS
    Wow it was like you wrote down everything I am thinking today! Had myself quite the pity party today. You have made the steps to get going in the right direction. Kudos to you. emoticon emoticon
    1932 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/22/2015 6:40:49 PM
  • KENDRACARROLL
    emoticon
    Glad you're still here and glad you're blogging again.
    Keep pushing, Michelle. You've got this!
    1932 days ago
  • BKWERM
    I'm glad that you've decided to make yourself a priority. I've been where you are and it takes guts and determination to take charge of your life and your weight. But SP and its members are wonderful support and a lot of us know what you're feeling so just know that you can do this and we're here to help.
    1932 days ago
  • ENDUROVET
    All of my life I've been groomed to "Serve", yet where has it gotten me?? (avoiding mirrors)
    Yesterday I sacrificed 6 hrs of my weekend, driving FARTHER than across town to see one of my oldest friends at her daughter's rugby tournament, yet the lil' snot didn't even speak to us, nor would they join us for a meal afterwards. I know I volunteered for this rejection, yet I still feel guilty for concentrating on "MY" needs...
    We're all in this together! Thx for posting this...
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1932 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3934996
    Angel... you are right.. no one can tie you down and not let you up.. you are being held back because you have set yourself up.. When you write down your goals.. take it slow.. at least every other day and if you want like I did 10 mins a day three times.. and that is a complete work out.. they are right here on Sparks Videos.. Then as you build up your tolerance then add a little more and water.. get that water down.. If you need to flavor it.. add Lemons or oranges and over night you have it in the morning If I forget I use lemon Juice.. So there are a lot of ways.. I am helping here at Alabama but if you need me Spark me and I can help you get started... So lets get to moving and make our goals for today.. and I will be between here and mine.. but I will get it... Hey I am a good choice to help.. In His Love and Grace Just Me emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1932 days ago
  • CAKAROO
    emoticon
    1932 days ago
  • NELLJONES
    Noting your current condition isn't talking bad about yourself. You can't get where you want to go unless you know where you are now.
    1932 days ago
  • TRYINGHARD54
    thank you for this blog.... i have also been there and done that more times then i care to count. So, i understand where your coming from.. but emoticon emoticon have a great day..... emoticon
    1932 days ago
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