It is now or never!
Sunday, March 22, 2015
I haven't done a blog since January 1st. Why you may or may not wonder? Because I have not done what I set out to do. Nope nada, nothing, zip, zero. I'm over my beginning weight some years ago on Spark, What does that mean really? In truth? It means I gave up on myself and any goals I may have set. So today I have reset a few things, updated my spark page, and really just decided I don't like where I'm at right now. I'm not in a good place for my weight or for my mind. But then again they go hand in hand.
There is this saying about:
Well I'm here to tell you that is the Gods honest truth. Oh I get my walks in, I'm on that treadmill, exercise bike, and I even have a outdoors bike now, but none of that matters if your not willing to put the work in where it is needed. Right inside your own home.
I know change is good, i've seen it happen. Not just to others but to myself also. But did I learn from it? Well obviously not. I'm sitting here unhappy, disappointed, and just plain uncomfortable. Nothing worse than grabbing clothes out for the spring and getting ready in the morning and wondering " are these going to fit still". Most often they don't. And to anyone who has been there done that you know it can be heartbreaking to have the reality of your failures slap you while your down. Now we can sit here and say that we shouldn't talk bad about ourselves, or we can face the truth, pick our butts up off the floor, and get back to taking care of ourselves. No more lies, excuses, half-assed moments. Nope not here not now. The truth can hurt and i'm hurting but from reality of what i've done to myself. Because lets be honest, I did this to me. Nobody forced that food into my mouth, nobody shopped for me, nobody made me sit in the chair all day and watch tv when I could of been doing something to help myself.
Truth is a harsh thing. But in the end what do you really have but the truth. They say it shall set you free so here goes. Maybe this time around it will stick.