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What if this doesn't work...

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Back in the fall I made a decision to take a break from Spark and focus on spending time with my Mom. We were told in March of 2014 that she wouldn't live long and I wanted to focus my energy on her. I wanted my young sons to spend time with her and make as many memories as they could. We had a wonderful Christmas and endured the nasty, cold winter. We've celebrated Valentine's Day and here we are at March of 2015, looking forward to Easter. It's such a wonderful blessing and gift from God.

Over the past year I have celebrated my Mom's life but have also grieved. There are many times when I get completely overwhelmed with how much I'm going to miss my Mom. There are times when I think about how much it's going to break my boys' hearts when she's gone and it breaks my heart even more. That said though, I wouldn't change a thing about the time I've been given and all the memories we've created.

After watching my Mom suffer a few setbacks and have some treatments not work as well as we hoped, I noticed she always does one thing - she listens to the situation and asks what can be done next. She doesn't mope or give up. She fights as best as she can. She accepts and adapts to the next plan of attack. She never asks "What if this doesn't work?"

I've learned a great deal from my Mom over the years but I think this is the lesson she's trying to get through to me now. She's showing me that you can be strong and courageous. That you don't even have to consider the "What if's". Just assess the situation and adjust your attack. It might not work as expected and that's okay. You just accept that you tried and then try something else.

When Val (one of the greatest SparkFriends ever) asked if I was interested in coming back for the Spring Challenge, I knew I had to. I have to take care of myself and keep fighting. I have to come back to where we are all trying and fighting. I have to work on lifting others up as they have done for me over the years. I have to accept and adapt. I have to win the fight and stop having the same battle over and over. I have to remove "What if this doesn't work?" from my thinking and realize that it is working. Maybe not the way I thought it would play out but it is WORKING.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Loved this blog - what a great lesson to share.
    2315 days ago
  • VALYNN26
    Great blog! Great lessons from mama. We just have to keep pushing until we find what works. When we are put into these situations we just want to throw our hands up in air and forget about us. Focus all of our attention on spending as much time with, caring for our loved one. We neglect our own health, and we can not do that. It's so important for us to take care of ourselves, so that we can be strong for our loved ones.
    Big hugs to you my dear friend. I'm so glad that that you're back in the Diamond Mine! emoticon
    2321 days ago
    What a wonderful lesson your Mom has given you, and the rest of us--thanks for sharing!
    emoticon emoticon
    2321 days ago
    How beautiful that you are taking the time to spend as much time with your mom and teaching your boys the value of family no matter what situations we face. It takes so much courage to face hardships, it takes endurance to see them through, it takes belief in yourself that you have both.

    I'm so happy for you and your family that you are taking advantage of a rare opportunity...to get to know someone so dearly before they draw their last breath!
    2321 days ago
    You have one amazing mom to look up to! I am glad you were given the precious gift of time and lots of memories spent with her. Your mom is on the right path though of teaching you to never give up. Always keep fighting for you no matter what life throws your way. Take everything with a grain of salt.

    I am so glad you are back with us for the spring challenge. You have been missed!
    2321 days ago
    Oh dear heart

    This is, indeed, a tough time for you. Your courageous and amazing mother is still giving you good advice, isn't she? I am sure you will keep striving till you find what works for you. In honor of your mother.
    2321 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4300142
    Great blog. Your mom is so wise and so are you. I agree, try something, if it doesn't work, look for something else and keep your head up and keep moving forward. Great advice!
    2321 days ago
    Thanks for sharing. A lesson learned and then shared may help someone else.
    2322 days ago
  • MEDIC1706
    Thank you for sharing.
    2322 days ago
    Enjoyed the lessons learned and you and your mom's positivity. emoticon
    2322 days ago
    ((((HUGS)))) You're right . . . the better you take care of you, the more you have to give to your Mom.

    Going thru similar situations w/my Mom and it's difficult, but seems like both our Moms have really taught us well to always keeptrying! If one thing doesn't work doesn't mean we shouldn't try something else.

    Blessings, my dear.
    2322 days ago
  • no profile photo ELRIDDICK
    Thanks for sharing
    2322 days ago
  • VEG954
    Sounds like you take after your Mom.
    She is a very determined and strong woman.
    What a blessing for you both!
    emoticon emoticon
    2322 days ago
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