March 9, 2015 - Setbacks.
Monday, March 09, 2015
I'm not going to vlog today. I know I've been pretty good about keeping up with those weekly but I just don't have it in me at the moment.
Some of you know I've been sick since last Wednesday. Bad headcold and all that. I felt pretty icky and due to that I wasn't tracking much, wasn't eating much, and definitely wasn't exercising. I also got my Ladybiz at the same time so it was a doublewhammy of feeling like crap. I had started tracking again on Friday but I knew I wasn't hitting many of my goals. And we had a couple of days where I'd eat one small meal and then whatever dinner had been decided upon. I am aware that over the course of the weekend, most of what I ate had a lot of salt in it, and I didn't drink as much water as I should have been drinking.
I don't know if that accounts for the five pound gainback I saw on the scale this morning or not, but it really threw me off kilter. Five pounds? In five days? Could this be water retention or is my body really that set on being fat? I was NOT eating more calories than I was burning. I know it's not the worst setback in the world but I'm really just.. mad. I am mad right now. I'm mad that I got sick, I'm mad at myself. I know it's not healthy to beat myself up for this and I'm trying not to, but I can feel the self-loathing bubbling up.
This isn't what I want. I decided that I'd be back to Goal Mode 100% today and that just reaffirms it, but it's so much worse than I wanted it to be. I thought maybe at most I'd suffer a pound or two, not five. It really, legitimately hurt to see that on the scale when I have so much farther to go.
Sorry for the downer post, guys.