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Valentine's Day — Where is the Love?

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

In the U.S., February 14th is designated as Valentine's Day.

It's such a strange holiday. If someone gives you chocolates, you can’t eat them because you’re on a diet. But if you don’t get any, you feel sad and left out.

For many of you, Valentine’s Day is a painful holiday because it ignores those who are suffering. Many of you have been though great losses over the past couple of years.

I personally know of several people who have been through the death of a spouse or partner. Others of you have seen your love relationship fall apart, leaving you with deep sadness, frustration and even anger.

So what are you supposed to do on a holiday that ignores emotional pain and broken hearts? You can’t simply ignore the tempting store aisles or a sabotaging partner. And if you’re alone right now, you can’t magically find love by this Friday. So here’s what I want you to do instead.

Make it a day of LOVE

Proclaim Friday, February 14th as a day of LOVE. Not a day of receiving love from others, but instead, a day of reaching into your own heart and sending love outward. Even if you are blessed with a great relationship, and know you’ll be taken care of on Valentine’s Day, I want you to do this anyway.

No matter what your present circumstances, find someone who appears to be worse off than you. Perhaps it’s someone fighting an illness or struggling with a job loss. Maybe like you, it’s someone who is grieving the death of a spouse or partner, or the loss of a relationship. Then on Valentine's Day, reach out and show love to several of these people.

Here are three things ways to do this:

1. Say “I care about you”
Write a note, then send an email or mail a real card to someone who needs love. In the U.S., February 14th is designated as Valentine's Day.

It's such a strange holiday. If someone gives you chocolates, you can’t eat them because you’re on a diet. But if you don’t get any, you feel sad and left out.

For many of you, Valentine’s Day is a painful holiday because it ignores those who are suffering. Many of you have been though great losses over the past couple of years.

I personally know of several people who have been through the death of a spouse or partner. Others of you have seen your love relationship fall apart, leaving you with deep sadness, frustration and even anger.

So what are you supposed to do on a holiday that ignores emotional pain and broken hearts? You can’t simply ignore the tempting store aisles or a sabotaging partner. And if you’re alone right now, you can’t magically find love by this Friday. So here’s what I want you to do instead.

Make it a day of LOVE

Proclaim Friday, February 14th as a day of LOVE. Not a day of receiving love from others, but instead, a day of reaching into your own heart and sending love outward. Even if you are blessed with a great relationship, and know you’ll be taken care of on Valentine’s Day, I want you to do this anyway.

No matter what your present circumstances, find someone who appears to be worse off than you. Perhaps it’s someone fighting an illness or struggling with a job loss. Maybe like you, it’s someone who is grieving the death of a spouse or partner, or the loss of a relationship. Then on Valentine's Day, reach out and show love to several of these people.

Here are three things ways to do this:

1. Say “I care about you”
Write a note, then send an email or mail a real card to someone who needs love. Tell the person that you care about them and wanted them to know this. For your online friends, consider sending an e-card.

2. Give a non-food gift
Pick up an inexpensive bouquet of flowers at the grocery store or buy a small stuffed animal. Present this gift to someone you like or want to show appreciation to. It might be someone you don't even know, such as a wait staff person at your favorite restaurant, or the new employee at work. Explain that you are simply using the holiday as a day to show love and caring to others.

3. Do “extreme self-care”
Create a list of things you can do to take extra good care of yourself. Then make Valentine’s Day a time of extreme self-care. If possible, plan in a massage, a manicure, or even a time for reading a good book or listening to your favorite music.

If you live alone, consider making a special meal and setting a table with pretty dishes and a candle. Include some exercise in your self-care day. Even a gentle ten-minute walk can renew your energy and your spirit.

This year, instead of yearning for the perfect lover or special person in your life, proclaim Valentine’s Day as “all about me.” Follow through with these ideas, and if necessary, tell those you care about that you have an “assignment” from your weight-loss counselor.

I’d love to hear how this goes for you. Either write me a note about your plans for the day, or tell me afterwards what you did on Valentine’s Day.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CAROLYNINJOY1
    Great blog. Thank you.
    582 days ago
  • PWILLOW1
    Great idea. Today I will send a note of love to a friend whose DH has Alzheimer's. emoticon
    582 days ago
  • JUNEAU2010
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1753 days ago
  • SWEETENUFGILL
    This is a great blog Linda!
    I'm really fortunate this year: I have a buddhist discussion group to go to in the afternoon - and the theme is 'Treasures of the Heart' - and I am making little cards for everyone with an inspiring quote on them.
    In the evening I am going to stay over with my friend and her husband, because we are setting off early the next day to go somewhere for a meeting - and they have sweetly told me that they are going to 'do our mushy stuff' earlier in the day, and we three will have a lovely meal and sociable evening together. I am so blessed.
    In addition - I have bought myself a pretty, pink, new journal to start a One Year Challenge using your book (having done the 100 Days once already).
    These things will definitely support me through Valentine's Day
    (I may also buy myself a new pair of earrings :))
    1757 days ago
  • PROPMAN1
    Good idea (S). Let's see what happens. emoticon emoticon
    1758 days ago
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