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Things are not going well - December 2014

Saturday, January 31, 2015

Nadia asked us in October to allow her boyfriend (Craig) from Indiana to move to our cottage with her since we already were allowing our son to live with his girlfriend and her daughter, we could hardly say no. So he came to live with us. We left November 1st to drive our 5th wheel trailer to Biloxi and stayed there until just before Christmas. We loved riding our bikes in the beautiful warm weather and meeting new friends in the campground.
Craig... I call his car "the garbage can on wheels" as the floor & seats are constantly littered with fast food wrappers, soda bottles, etc. There is no room for a passenger to put their feet on the floor due to the garbage. He does absolutely nothing rather than go to work, play games & watch tv. Fortunately he spends the time awake downstairs was we have very little to talk him about. He does shovel the snow when we ask. He does no cleaning downstairs of the their living room, bedrooms or bathroom. His bedroom is really stinky with unwashed clothes. Nadia & Craig have been sleeping in their own rooms since she worked such erratic hours @ the Wautoma House. She has difficulty getting to sleep and also claims that both of them need a separate bed. She only sees him on Sundays when they are not working. She told us that while we were in Biloxi, she had to tell him to take the recycling & garbage out, to flatten the soda boxes for recycling, to clean up after himself, to empty the dishwasher, etc. He needs to be told many times to do these things as he seems to need constant reminders. She also said that he is always losing his phone, keys, wallet & glasses because he puts them in different places. She has told him many times to find a location for them and to always put those items in the same spot. Craig even told us about driving to work without his glasses (listed on his drivers license)! He has absolutely no motivation to do anything! I am hoping that she gets tired of always having to tell him what to do. Now with the rent not being paid, that is a new twist. John said that if Nadia wants to keep him as her boyfriend, he will work with Nadia to become Craig's money manager (with our supervision). It is so frustrating to have a 30 year old who is such a "slug" in our house!!!
Vlad, Adina & Savanna...
We arrived in Hartford Monday before Christmas. The house was immaculate. Vlad works @ Steelcraft from 4am to 3:30 pm. When he didn't come home later that night, I texted him "are you @ work"? Adina works @ Cedar Community from 2:30 pm to 10:30 pm. We didn't know where Sav was. Vlad replied in a text, I am @ a friends with Sav & Adina knows". Tuesday he went again to work and didn't come home after work. He arrived with Adina & Sav @ 11:30 pm. Wednesday we opened presents in the morning as Adina got a call to work a double shift that night after her shift. Then Vlad told us that he wanted to go to a friends house where they were having a party. We said "ok, since we had a little time with him". So everyone left together in 1 car and they all came back Thursday morning around 7 am. We later found out that Vlad had been @ the same place Monday night, Tuesday night & Wednesday. I prepared Christmas dinner and we talked to Vlad about his uncomfortable we were with him disappearing and spending time with his friends rather than with us. Before we left on Friday, we gave them money for tires as Vlad's car need them replaced badly. Vlad had been depositing all his checks into our bank account so that we could pay for 6 months of car insurance in January.
The following Monday, John called his dentist to find out about the pain he had been feeling for the past several days. His dentist told him that it sounded like a dying tooth and told him to call an endodentist in Menominee Falls. Luckily He was able to get an appointment for that day due to a cancellation so we drove there. After the appointment, we decided to stop in Hartford. Adina was watching a movie in the tv room, Sav was watching children programs in the office. The dishwasher was filled with clean dishes from last Thursday, the sink was filled with dirty plates, silverware, glasses, etc. The counters were full with dirty pots, pans & baking sheets from cookie making. We asked Adina about the mess and she told us that it was "her day off"! Apparently she does nothing on her day off! We were shocked! We proceeded to tell her that it would only take a few minutes to empty the dishwasher, to load the dishwasher, etc. Vlad had texted Nadia Sunday telling her that he was "chilling" apparently he doesn't believe in a clean and orderly house either! He came home after work and heard how frustrated we were! The next day we got a text from Adina telling us that they would be moved to of the house by Friday. We were shocked! Vlad has a signed contract to live in our house rent free and to pay ff his car and other loans (interest free). Apparently he wasn't going to honor that anymore! Then we had a flurry of text, phone calls with Adina as Vlad was't responding at all. We got several different stories about their new apartment, security deposit (from her relatives and later saw statements from a quick loan place in Hartford for short term loans for both Vlad & Adina). We called her Aunt Christine who basically raised her and asked her what she knew about their debts to us, moving out etc. She new nothing as Adina had always said everything was fine and never mentioned the thousands of dollars of unpaid rent, phone costs, etc that she had owed us. After several calls, they decided to move out and took many things to their new apartment. We were scrambling to decide what to do with the house in winter, snow removal, hot tub maintenance, etc. Last weekend Adina's sister got married (her second ceremony/ same marriage) in New Jersey. Aunt Christina paid for Vlad, Adina & Sav to fly there, missing a couple of days of work for both of them. Christina called to talk to us before driving them to the airport and they remained steadfast in moving to the apartment. We spoke to Adina last Tuesday and asked her if she really wanted to move - she said that she didn't, but that Vlad was insistent and wanted to move. We told her that they would have many bills, rent, 2nd car, car insurance for both vehicles, electricity, cable, heat, water, etc and that they would most likely get into lots of arguments about money as they wouldn't have enough to pay their bills. She agreed to give Vlad an ultimatum that if he wanted to be with her, he would move back into the house. Finally they got the rest of their things out of the apartment, but they will lose their security deposit because they were so late in notifying the landlord. Fortunately he is not holding them to A 2 month notice thereby making them pay rent for the next 2 months. Vlad stopped transferring his last 2 checks into our account and had them transferred into Adina's bank account. Adina never transferred any wages since she was hired full time @ Cedar Community on Dec 15th. We told her that she had to transfer a set amount which we agreed upon and she did that Thursday. We still don't know about Vlad's wage transfer. Before we left for Biloxi we discussed rent and utilities with them. They agreed to pay for the utilities. Adina had agreed long ago to pay a minimal amount for rent, but she always had excuses to not pay any rent of for her phone which is on our family phone plan. Oh, another thing Adina got Vlad a new phone with a separate phone contract. We changed our cell phone contract while we were in Biloxi and are now obligated to pay for all 5 phone lines for 2 more years. Adina was aware f that change so now we will be paying for a phone line for 2 years that is not used! Actually we plan on charging Vlad for that phone line.
We told them that we would be coming to Hartford on Sunday as we have tickets for an afternoon show @ the Schauer Center and we would be staying through Wednesday due to hair, Dr. appointments and meetings.
During all this stress John took his blood pressure ( he & I both take blood pressure meds). It was 160/100. Not good! Two days ago he tested his blood clotting and it was way high. After speaking to the nurse who specializes in clotting assessment in Hartford, she said that stress would adversely affect blood clotting.
All we ask of Vlad & Adina is to take care of out things, great us with respect and to appreciate what we retrying to do to help them!
John & I have discussed taking Vlad entirely out of out will as we are so very sick of his contempt, hatred for us, his refusal to appreciate anything, etc. In the past 2 weeks, whenever he is on the phone with Adina hatred and lies spew out of his mouth constantly. Adina says that she will make him be civil to us. We are ready to kick him out of our house!
I don't know how much more of this we can take!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It sounds like you are being taken advantage of from all sides. As hard as it is to do you may need to take a few steps back and decide what you need to do to meet your and John's needs first and only then, after taking care of yourselves decide what you can and cannot do for the rest of your family, monetarily and emotionally.
    1843 days ago
    1844 days ago
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