Friday, January 30, 2015
250? Can I get a 255? Do I hear 259? How about 261? 261.....going going gone!!!
This is what my body feels like, as if this was an auction going to the highest bidder. But there is not some awesome prize like beautiful furniture or a glorious trip to the Bahamas. There is guilt and feeling less than stellar. I'm proud of myself the way I have taken all the things that have been thrown at me the past 5 years and I feel like I have accepted all of it in stride. Emotionally I feel like I'm alright and mentally I feel grateful for all that I do have in life. Physically my body is not on the same level, because deep down inside I'm not alright. Don't get wrong I do feel a little sexy and feel like I am beautiful even though I don't show it. There are aspects of my body that I am proud of but I am getting to the point where those beautiful and sexy parts of me are starting to not look sexy anymore. I'm starting to look like a swollen version of me and not in any way sexy. My weight is a major concern now because I am at a point in my life that if I am not able to get my life in a healthier state then I may not be able to do it later on in life. The clock doesn't go backwards and I sure can stop time to enjoy this life and hopefully I'll have time later to lose weight.
I am starting to desperately think that I need to get my healthier life going NOW!!!
I have 2 quinceneras and a wedding this year of people whom I am close to and I want to be at my healthiest for these special young ladies this year. I would like to make it my daily goal to write maybe a blog or use the journal to go back and evaluate my life at the end of the year. I need to stop wasting my time and life and really start living my life to my fullest.
This is my little pep talk to myself, I really don't have a support system other than my 2 kids so here we go...... I'll blog again in the end of February to see how I'm doing.
Hopefully I'll still be in this mindset.