B.E.D, Weight Loss, and ....
Sunday, January 04, 2015
I hate working in corporate america. Every time I hear someone use the word "utilize" where normal people say "used" It makes me want to throw something. "I utilized my fork this morning, to eat my eggs." Bleh.
To say I loath this environment would be an understatement. Still, I have learned some valuable tools that can be applied not only to your professional life, but to your personal one as well. For example, I learned about the 80/20 principle. I can't remember the official name but if you are effective 80% of the time you are doing well is what I get out of it. I think about this when I am in one of those modes where I am chastising myself for not being perfect. I don't need to be perfect. This is simply not a reasonable goal. Nor should I expect perfection from others. Again not reasonable.
Recently, I got my official diagnosis for Binge Eating Disorder. Since then I have been reading lots of stuff about B.E.D and let me just tell you I am FREAKED out. On the one hand I am FINALLY reading things that sound like me, sound like the issues I deal with, and that have real strategies for how to handle things. On the other hand I am experiencing HUGE anxiety about how to proceed. Again, I find myself rolling myself up into the oppressing straitjacket of required yet unattainable perfection.
I took a step back and just realized, I am a hot mess. Seriously. In every area of my life. How in the hell did I get here???? All I remember is years of trying to be smaller and do the right things. How did my ship get sunk, I don't even remember getting into the boat!!!
I have been reading a lot about body love/body acceptance. I have never seen so much hate on the Internet about people being fat and not wanting to be slathered in hate and judgement every time they walk out their door. But I digress.
This Body Love stuff tells me I need to stop trying to lose weight and just learn to accept my body the way it is. I will spare you the details from the books I have been reading, but suffice to say, these books are just like any other diet book in the sense that they are basically giving you a premise and telling you to follow directions. The cite questionable data, they make sweeping assumptions, they provide the out that if you don't have the desired results it is probably because you didn't follow the plan or you weren't ready to commit.
I really need to quit reading these books.
But there is always a take way. With these books they do make a point about living your life at any size. Doing healthy things not because you want to lose weight but because you want to be healthy. These ideas are very good takeaways.
So how do you become okay with your self and your body and still acknowledge the fact that you want to lose weight? I am working on that one. Also, how do you lose weight when your B.E.D will get in the way of your efforts??? I have a million questions just like these swimming around in my head like little piranhas taking chunks out of my brain. Just don't even get me started.
So, now i am in the process of simplifying. I read this blog "runs for cookies." This lady has similar issues to me and she is fantastic. Basically, she showed me that it is ok to change a plan up, take what works for you and discard the rest. So, now that is what I am going to do. Figure out where my main issues are and figure out what needs to change. AND i am not doing it through the lens of weight loss, but for better health.
Baby steps, people. Baby steps.