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That stupid car accident

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Yes, that stupid, stupid, stupid car accident. The one where the other driver hit me, stopped to make sure I wasnt hurt, noticed I was pregnant, said oh sh t and drove away? Not only sent me swirling down the pot filled road of anxiety and daily panic attacks but has apparently set into motion some type of cosmic bad luck, rug ripped out from under me because aparently I was a complete (insert profanity) in my last life kinda karma. My tooth, one which can be seen when I smile, broke off at the gum- thank you pregnancy. Not that I didnt know I needed to get it removed or anything but come on. Ive gained weight because you know what foods are soft foods? Bad carbs thats what Ive been able to eat. Im getting oral surgery today to fix it. My husband has sacrificed all of his hobbies in exchange for becoming an RN, a very good one whom his patients, coworkers, and patients families adore, its his calling. We are finally on our feet, yeah, yay right? So I tell him to buy himself a project car or a truck to work on because he used to be a mechanic and he deserves a hobby. I worked my tush off to convince him and to make extra money as a work from home seamstress to get him tools and such for Christmas. He finally goes to look at a dealership... our modest but supposedly dependable car breaks down. Our 4.5 year old has reverted to her 3 year old stage, and let me tell you once you've survived that extended 'I'm a toddler' B S its not somewhere you want to go back to! My husband accidentally signed up to work both thanksgiving and Christmas, arg. I took my gestational diabetes test and thankfully I passed, but I did so by almost passing out several times before they could even do the blood draw. One of the episodes happened in a darn elevator oh and you guessed it, Im terrified of elevators. Which of course led to a panic attack becasue now nothing can even go slightly wrong without me getting heart palpitations, feeling hot and clamy, feeling as though I am vibrating from the inside outside of my body, unable to catch my breath with the tightness that forms in my chest. And I am not sleeping. Our bed which is very luxurious and wasnt cheap is less than 4 years old and low and behold its failing us bc? I dont know, but my husband cant sleep and when he gets cranky, which never ever happens, you know we have something wrong. The look on that poor mans face when he said 'Everything is falling apart around us' He is not a pessimist man, he is the hunker down and bare it man. So to hear him say that with that pitiful 'Im done' look in his eyes... Party for one, in the I am completely over this B S and ready to enjoy the good stuff now thank you very much.
We've worked so so so hard! Any success we have, we earned, we never luck out and just have people hand us ANYTHING. We are a proud family. We fight for a better life together, we fought to be together. We are not weak nor cruel, we are proud.
I mean our family motto is 'Work hard, Be kind, Follow your dreams.' For crying out loud. Ive had enough of the bad luck B S.
I could make this 2 blogs. But if youve made it this far ready my pity party of complaints you deserve to share in my morning.
I groggely walked into the kitchen to make my coffee and I looked over at these mugs my mom sent us for Christmas. There are 2 and they match. Simple, white with a black line around the lip/ They are tall and are more dense and sturdy than they look. There is a Giant 'R' monogrammed on the side. Ladies and gentleman, I believe our luck has changed. Why? Because we are Robertsons. I am Siena Lyn Robertson. I crawled through unmentionable circumstances and not once allowed that to mold me into a whiny sniveling victim, I am a survivor. There is not a warm blooded being, nor chain of bad happening that can take that from me. I worked for it. I have never let anything stop me and bloody hell I told a man I had just met that he didnt know it yet but he was going to marry me and I was going to have his babies. 10 years, 1800 miles, and 2 babies later, guess who was right? Fate got me far, but I have gotten me further. That man who did not run away fought alongside me through the hardest emotionally draining years and let me tell you, we have we learned a lot. We will not allow a stupid string of bad luck to deter us from everything we have strived for. We are Robertson's and we fight, we work hard, we do not lay down and 'see what happens' no, we set the wheels in motion, we build our own path when needed and right now its needed. So thank you to the person who hit me. You reminded me how proud I am to not be some pathetic little weasel that runs from their problems and mistakes. I am Siena Lyn Robertson, I stand, I dont run. I fight, I work hard, I do whats right. I get my dreams. Every. Last. One.

Now ladies and gents, thank you for your time. May you be inspired in some way today to be the warrior your meant to be in whichever way your life is needing at this time. As for me, I have some phone calls to make, a few things to set right.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    thank you I needed that!
    2160 days ago
    you know it is not what life throws at us but how we react to them that makes us who we are .also what doesn´t pull us apart will bring us together.my husband and i have also gone through a lot together and had to fight every step of the way but together we survived and because we and also you have the right attitude we ,you included will be on top.when things get too much to bare(which lets face it they can sometimes)what keeps me going is that knowledge that god would never give me something i can´t handle.if he things i can handle what he throws at me who am i to prove him wrong.this somehow gives me the strength to keep going.hope this can add to your strength too,have a very merry christmas love and an even better new year.
    2170 days ago
  • SBEAR5
    YOU GO GIRL! :) I was feeling sorry for you at the begining, that's alot to go through in a short span of time, but NOW, I feel like I should smack you on the back and say "go get'em" haha... I'm glad that you are strong and proud!

    Stay fierce chica!
    2178 days ago
  • JSPIN74
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2178 days ago
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