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Life

Tuesday, December 02, 2014

Hi everyone!
I think the last year completely exhausted me, and when school came to an end, I just didn't want to look at my computer anymore. I went through some trying times in my personal life, that I just didn't, and probably still don't completely, know how to move past. I've tried to get back on Spark, but it's been a bit challenging. I know I'm battling depression, but after trying anti-depressants last fall/winter, I really want to avoid that route. I don't want to be depressed, but I also don't want to feel hazy in my own life.
When I first graduated, I was spending any time available on the computer to look for a job. That left no time for Spark. Then I decided to put that on hold and go back to school. Then I changed my mind on that and have just decided to put job searching on hold until after Christmas.

So now what's my excuse? Well, for one, Carly has no patience for me being on the computer at most times. She sees it as mommy is distracted, so I best get into something to get her attention :-)

It's been emotionally difficult for me to finish school and not be able to land one of those jobs that I went on an interview for. I know I'm not the most patient person, but with my experience and this new degree of mine, I thought it would be a little easier.

So I'm trying to just relax right now, give myself a bit of a break, and refocus at the start of the new year. However, I've been far to relaxed in the healthy living department. I've talked and talked about getting "back at it" but have yet to do anything. I wake up with a ton of energy and motivation, but by the time I have free time in the afternoon half of that energy and motivation is gone and I make a million excuses, because of course there are other things that need done.

So today I thought I'd try something new. I thought I'd come here, write a blog, and see if browsing around on the site could renew my commitment to living a healthy life. I've also thought about signing up to run the Pittsburgh 1/2 marathon. Thought that would kick my butt into gear, like it did last year at this time when I was prepping for Indy. But then I saw the price to sign up for that, and there's just no way that is in the budget right now! SO I need motivation, but I know that it really must come from inside me. I want it, and they say that's all you need, but there truly has to be more to it. So, I'll keep on trying every day, to take little steps to get myself back on the right path.

Yeah, this blog was a little all over the place, but that's just generally how I've been the last few months emoticon

I'll end with a picture from my graduation party back in October that my family threw me. My mom made me a gown and my daughter made me the cap :-) They even played the music and had me walk the hall of the house, LOL! They knew how much I was bummed about not getting to walk when I graduated, so they made it happen for me!



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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CLAIREINPARIS
    You have had so much to deal with, Beth! I hope you have taken the opportunity to relax a little and focus on yourself. I am so glad your family threw a party for you, you deserved it!
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    2086 days ago
  • AQUAGIRL08
    Congratulations on your graduation! Well done!
    2122 days ago
  • ROSEWCI
    Beth, you're a wonderful women & mom! Life's gonna get complicated sometimes & ya just have to roll w/the punches. All will fall into place when you least expect it...you'll see! In the mean time, focus on taking care of that beautiful family & yourself! I know it's difficult to focus on "self" when you're feeling so scattered, but please do try! Remember, it's the little things that add up to something big! You're worth the effort, my friend! Give it your all!

    emoticon Rose
    2122 days ago
  • HOPEFULHIPPO
    Young lady! You once told me..."10 minutes" and you kicked mine and Kim's butt on it..

    so

    emoticon hi-ya!

    10 minutes. Squat on commercials
    10 minutes Legs up in air, scissor like thingie mer bobbers when you are laying on the floor

    10 minutes of jogging in place to get that funk out of your head.

    You've got this...We've seen you

    and clearly, your family does too :o) That was truly amazing. Actually, come to think of it....that's probably the best graduation ever...it didn't have 4 40 minute speeches!!

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    2123 days ago
  • NUOVAELLE
    How wonderful that they threw a graduation party for you, Beth! They're the best, which is exactly what you deserve!
    As for the rest of your blog, I'll email you shortly with some thoughts on how to deal with life getting in the way... If you think about it, you're already a pro at this!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2123 days ago
  • GABIBEAR
    Your VERY fortunate to have such a wonderful family Beth and on those days that you feel depressed, take some time to meditate on that! It is no wonder that you had/have feelings of depression. You have taken on sooooo much with a new baby, school and a family. I don't think I could have accomplished that - especially not as well as you did! You definitely have to take care of yourself and I think this break during Christmas is not only a great idea is sounds like a necessity for you pretty lady!

    Have a wonderful December and don't forget to put yourself into the potpourri!!

    Gabi
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    2124 days ago
  • GINIEMIE
    Beth, you hit a slump because you've had a major change in your schedule. You can do this, you've done it before but I'll be the first to admit getting back into it is NOT easy. It will take determination, motivation and getting up and doing things when you know you have the energy and desire. Maybe you and Carly need to get moving when the others get off to school. Then you can do housework or other stuff while she naps/rests.
    I went for a 10 minute walk this afternoon and it turned into 70 minutes of raking leaves. I don't want another "nasty-gram" from the HOA about the leaves from the 5 Bradford pears and the oak tree. My yard had been in good shape until early last week. Don't know when they dropped, but since we are having some decent weather again I felt I needed to take advantage. You need to challenge someone or be challenged. Or simply pick 2 or three things to make into a streak to get you going.
    Your family sure did help you "graduate in style" I didn't walk for my Masters...
    It was too far, during the school year and too expensive. Oh well! Life happens.
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    2124 days ago
  • NORASPAT
    Hi there, I am so happy you wrote a blog, if you ever get in a bit of confusion just do what you did today. let it out vent and I am certain it helps.
    I have a message board about trying to bed positive every day. That does not mean eat right and exercise but once you find your positive mode you will be able to move on I am sure. I think the best antidepressant is a time to chill, I know you will have to make it .
    Time to be alone with your thoughts not your worries.

    I grew up poor and NEVER liked Christmas. It is the most stressful time for parents-especially Mom's. I know Dad's stress too but they can get to their other work most of the time they just have to. Mom's have to keep the peace in the household.
    Now I am off to see how many people are hoping to be positive till NEW YEAR.
    BETH you can do this. Try not to aspire to the marathon but keep it in mind.
    Think positive and pace your thoughts as you do your strides.

    HUGS and much love Pat in Maine. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2124 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/2/2014 4:56:48 PM
  • NHES220
    So how cute is that with the cap and gown! So take advantage of the mornings and get moving girl! That is what I need to do too since it gets dark so early. I do it on the weekends and I get up early to go workout with my trainer, but I need to get out in the morning for a run too. Yeah, those races can get pricey! I track my workouts on RunKeeper - free app for the smart phone if you have one. We could be virtual training buddies!
    2124 days ago
  • KIM_POSSIBLE77
    Oh my goodness that is so beautiful what your family did for you! I love it!

    I know all about the motivation and the no time, heck how long did it take me to get back here! If you put in a workout DVD would the baby be too much of a "bug" or would she try and follow you? What is her nap schedule like, could you fit in a DVD workout there?

    Take it one week at a time like I am....stop looking at the ending point and look at what you can change this week. That has helped me to not be bummed or pull my hair out. LOL
    2124 days ago
  • BE-THE-CHANGE
    emoticon

    What kind of job are you looking for? I'd be happy to keep my eyes open for one.
    2124 days ago
  • MSHEL7
    We all go through ups and downs and well, the roller coaster of life. You will come to the place you need to be in no time, now get up and get moving!! Last I looked I was ahead of you in steps and I'm not moving much, so.....
    Have a great afternoon!
    2124 days ago
  • FORZACHANDMATT
    What a great family you have - hang in there
    2124 days ago
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