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I AM DONE!!!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

I am done! I have finally come to the realization that diets DON'T work long term. I have been at the same weight for over a year! I have worked out hard, I have been strict with my eating and then get "off track". I can throw my weight back and forth by 10 pounds. I am tired of feeling disappointed that the scale didn't show me that I have been working hard and then in turn thinking I am a failure somehow! I can be really, really good and get my weight down then go back to eating "normal" and my weight shoots right back up! I am always trying to figure out if I am eating enough, eating too much, eating the correct amounts of everything or if I am doing the right exercises! I AM DONE!!!
I also was thinking about how my boys view me, on a diet all the time. Is that really the memory I want to leave them! NO!!! I want them to remember the fun times we have had, not that mom couldn't eat that, we couldn't go there because mom couldn't be strong enough to stay away from the forbidden foods! Life is about so much more than food and what I should or shouldn't be eating!
So I got online and did some research on how to stop this craziness. I found some information about intuitive eating and that lead me to a really good book called Thin Side Out by Josie Spinardi. Her book described what I have been doing for while now completely. I learned so much about why I do the things I do regarding eating and being on this dieting hamster wheel. Everything she wrote made sense to me in a way that opened my eyes completely. Eating when you are hungry, stopping when you are full, learning to listen to what your body is asking for, not having limitations, and letting go of perfection!
Now that isnt saying that I am not still on the quest to be healthy because I DO want to be healthy so that I can live and long and happy life with my family! I just am getting off the diet merry go round. I want to get back to listening to MY bodies cues of hunger and fullness! I have done it before when I was pregnant (because it was acceptable to not be in a diet) and I liked how it made me feel to eat what MY body was asking for, not what someone was telling me what I should be eating! I am learning to trust my body to ask for what it is needing to work correctly!
I feel so much freedom with this decision! I can eat WHATEVER I want! NOTHING is off limits! I feel like a whole new world has opened up to me! So yes, I have been eating some of those foods that I have denied myself for so long. One thing was a croissant , but in learning to listen to my body, I found that it gives me heartburn as I am eating it so that will not be something I feel that I will eat again soon, unless of course my body asks for it, which I am doubtful will happen. Another thing I learned was to pay attention to when the flavors of the food are strong and delicious and when they start losing their strong flavor. I learned that is the bodies way of saying its had enough so the flavor is no longer enticing. I was so surprised to experience this when I stopped and did this and sure enough found that I was full. I am keeping a food journal still, but I am also journaling how I am feeling when I am making the choice to eat.
I am enjoying learning all these new things, that to kids and skinny people, come naturally! I feel that this will eventually be a normal part of my life! I know its going to take a bit to get the diet mentality out of my head and replace them with natural healthy thoughts about food and myself, but I believe that I will get there! I am on this journey for WHOLE health and healing and I believe this new tool is going to be life changing!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • OSHEONA
    I wish you the best of luck with that!

    When I was young, I was really thin, but I worked out a lot. I was always playing! All the time, for hours every day. I've just recently come to the conclusion that I need to workout for hours now every day. People say, "Oh, I run for a half hour every day and that's that." Well, I can't do that. I have to go slower, because of health problems and put more time into it. I work out at a slow pace for two hours a day now. I'll add to that if I need to to lose the weight. I hate watching all the calories too. Right now it's too much for me. I just can't focus. But I can work out! So that's what I am doing.

    I would love to hear about your fitness activities, how you balance out the calories.
    2146 days ago
  • NBARNES
    You're so right - the journey we're all on is a lifestyle, and not a diet. I realized that a few years ago and have spent my time learning to embrace veggies, fruits and that hungry . feeling between meals. I actually love feeling hungry because when that happens I know I'm listening to my body and doing things right. No, I'm not where I want to be (10 pounds thinner) but I'm so much happier fitting into those medium sizes. I've been this size (instead of those larges being too tight) for more than two years because I've been able to see this as a lifestyle change instead of a diet.
    2247 days ago
  • GIGALENA
    That is wonderful that you are learning what your body said. Most of us can not do that yet. Including me. I will try and be more mindful of my body. Thanks.
    2251 days ago
  • MORTICIAADDAMS
    I agree about most of what you had to say. I came to a similar view a while back in that intuitive eating is important. I decided to return to the way I ate when I was thin and healthy and it was not necessarily what we are told is the correct way to eat. I don't force myself to eat breakfast any more as it doesn't benefit me. I don't force myself to eat so called healthy foods I don't like. I don't allow myself to succumb to the thinking though that my body is telling me things like, "Eat the doughnuts, you know you want them." Some foods make me sick even using portion control. And I keep in mind that my body doesn't necessarily crave healthy foods. While calories in and calories out still works I do need vitamins, minerals., and nutrients. Junk food is high in calories and low in in those. So I use both intuitive eating and still avoid obvious foods that will wreck my efforts at good health.
    2254 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14414066
    What an awesome realization! emoticon I also eat the things I love but in moderation...if not then I just binge so I found out that if i have the one or two and stop I can stay focused and on track. I still weigh in on Wednesday but just don't beat myself up over what the scale says. I look at where I am now and where I was almost a year ago when I started Sparking and am very happy with the results. I still make myself do exercises I don't like just to keep moving but am finding there are fewer and fewer that I don't like emoticon Hoping to see you around during the Winter Freeze Off challenge!
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    2254 days ago
  • EBPOOKIE
    Body Trust and Joyful Movement and you will do great! STAY AWAY FROM THE SCALE! emoticon emoticon
    2254 days ago
  • MRS.O14
    Way to take back your power Trish!!! You are gonna rock this!!
    2254 days ago
  • STORMWATCHER3
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    2255 days ago
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