Good morning Divas, Guys, and Dolls,
Its really funny that I am at loss for words at the moment.............
.......I have been away for sometime. As I told you earlier this year, I was in a big fight with breast cancer and I was beginning a new journey which involved a marathon to be won--in which I won and beat it---hands down...
This was no ordinary journey for me by any means.......and when I say that I had to renew my faith and "Let Go and Let God", I had to do just that!!!! I am fortunate that my journey came to an end on October 13, 2014 with my Breast Cancer Therapy and Treatments ending, however, a new journey has taken its place.
Unfortunately, during my chemotherapy treatments, I was unaware that I was allergic to one of the chemo drugs--Taxotere--and it did such major damage to my lungs that now I have to begin to repair my body from the inside out, but at a slower pace. I am no longer 20 and able to bounce back, I'm 51. Before Breast Cancer I could walk, talk, breathe, and chew bubble gum all at the same time, now I can't and it's really frustrating. I am on oxygen night and day, I can't walk past 5 minutes without stopping and gasping for air, my body aches so bad that some days I can hardly walk, and to top it all off, I have been on antibiotics since September 16, 2014 because I had gotten "cellulitis" from a cut on my finger and now it has gotten into the breast where the lumpectomy was done. Now how about that????? I can't work because I can't speak a complete sentence without gasping for air with or without the oxygen, I have chemo brain, literally----unfortunately those chemo drugs fry some of your brain cells and you do forget a lot of things, at least I did.
The doctors don't really tell you what to expect if the anything goes wrong outside of the Cancer cells being killed, they don't tell you that you may experience other issues after beating Breast Cancer, like how your life may never be the same. Before breast cancer, I was very, very active, I worked, went to the gym at least 4 days a week, went to the mall to window shop ( my daughter's favorite past time), I loved to cook and bake (especially grilling), love to grocery shop, was just very vibrant, and now I can't do any of the above because I can't walk, talk, breathe, or chew bubble all at the same time.
I am very unhappy about most of this, but the one thing I am happy about in walking in this journey is that I learned to look at life from a whole new perspective.........I no longer sweat about the little things, I don't let anything get to me, and I pray all day if I have to just to get from one moment to the next..........and the one thing that I had to do was to let others help me when I didn't want them to.
My days are like this, my bad ones always outweighs the good ones, I cry far more than I care to, Social Security sucks--have been denied 2 times and with an attorney, but I am as persistent as they come, I am still looking for work, although I can't, and I smile even when I want to cry, so as the saying goes, "Ain't Life Grand".........
This Diva is still going, she's keep'n it mov'n........keep'n it mov'n