Friday, October 24, 2014
So, I'm sitting with myself in the car this morning asking myself: "How do I get this going? What has worked before? What can still work with where I am now?"
I have to go back. WAY back. Before Spark even.
I've been dieting my whole life. I hate dieting. It sets off a cycle of self-hate in me that just hurts my heart and my bones. I punish myself for not losing weight fast enough, for not being strong enough, for not having a body like my friends and family. It's isolating and self-depricating, and not in a good way. The one big thing that has kept me away for so long has been the need to not be in that headspace. And, yet, here I am. Because the alternative still leads me down a rabbit hole of self-hate.
Darned if you do; darned if you don't...right?!
So what can I do RIGHT NOW to succeed and build some confidence? What is the ONE thing I KNOW I can succeed at if all else fails? Because I need that one thing to get me going.
Damn, it's so simple and yet I've been allowing myself pop and tea way too often these days. Yesterday I sat on the couch (I was working from home), pouring through research documents and feeling SO thirsty, but I didn't go get any water because it "wasn't what I wanted..." Yea, that's just silly. I recognize that.
So, that's the ONLY goal I'm going to track right now. I might track my food, if I remember. I might track a workout if I manage to find one that doesn't hurt. But, more than anything, I WILL be drinking 8 glasses of water a day...10 if I can manage it.
If you're reading this...do it with me. Go drink 8 ounces of water RIGHT NOW and don't comment/reply to this post until you've done it. We are going to have to pee SO MUCH!! *lol*