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home again.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Even though I knew it was coming, I still didn't have any way of stopping myself from sliding back into my depression, so once again I ended upstaging in hospital, I got home last night. I don't really feel that being there has changed how I feel, or done anything to improve things. The last few times I have been admitted its just felt like a holding pen, I think the most positive thing it does is to give Nikki a rest from me, and it simply makes me stop. When I say stop, I mean stop maniacally trying to do everything at one. Which is what I do.

I am trying to slow down, not do so much all at once. But I feel sometimes things are moving so fast that I have to move quickly to just keep up. If I joined any groups at the beginning of this month I really do feel bad, because once again I crashed and didn't follow them up. Sorry. I also loused up my online Literature course.

BUT I am ready to pick myself up once again and start again. I know as long as I have that I will always be ok.

Sarah.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • -SUSANO-
    Pleased you are home. They are supposed to be changing the way they deal with mental health here aren't they? Let us hope it is sooner rather than later, not much help at all unless you search really hard.
    Never apologise to us, just do what you can, when you can, and don't put more pressure on yourself emoticon
    1881 days ago
  • STEVEN2GO2
    emoticon You ended up in the hospital for depression. I am Bi-polar too so have been there. Sometimes it just seems that the stay really does not help, because when you are released you still have to face day by day again.

    emoticon
    1882 days ago
  • SMOKY_TEA
    Hang in there; I know that winter is not far away and I hope that you can use the seasons of change to give you quiet time for reflection and that you can slow down. Do not worry at all about the things you do not do---literature will always be out there waiting; Spark People will always be here waiting. It's most important that you find the pace that makes you feel good without and within.

    emoticon
    1882 days ago
  • DEBIGENE
    You are always a winner when you pick up and keep going. There are always hurdles in life. Hold your head up high and do the best you can. What more can anyone want. The best we have, IS the best !!!

    Hang in the baby you have a long way to go !!!!
    1882 days ago
  • DEEGIRL50
    emoticon I hope you find a way to slow down and relax. Take care.
    1882 days ago
  • HIPPICHICK1
    I'm so sorry that your experience in the hospital was so unhelpful to your situation.

    I know that feeling of not being able to stop doing things. That is when we, most of all, need to rest.

    Have you given any thoughts to my recommendation of cutting back on sugar and carbs? I don't know if it will help you, but it sure helped me dig myself out of the pit of depression that I found myself in. Mind you, I didn't cut back, I stopped altogether eating sugar and refined carbs. I was pretty amazed how much it helped. I stopped feeling so confused, tired, out of sorts. It stopped the anxiety and I started to feel that there was hope.
    emoticon
    1882 days ago
  • LABRYS32726
    Glad to hear it hasn't stopped you yet! Hang in there and take care of yourself. emoticon
    1882 days ago
  • BBEAGAN
    Even if it feels like just a holding pen, taking yourself off to hospital seems like good self-care. And, yes, a break for your partner can be a good thing. Can help keep the love strong. Good for you being ready to pick yourself up and continue where you left off. Wishing you strength.
    1882 days ago
  • BROOKLYN_BORN
    I just read your status. Know that when you are ready to face the world again, your online friends (from all over the world) will be here waiting for you. Hang in there!
    1883 days ago
  • FLO1389
    Sarah, you will be in my Prayers. it is not easy we think we are super we can do it all right now, we have to learn to do it slow. Proud of you that you have the strength to talk about it. God Bless you. emoticon
    1883 days ago
  • GHOSTFLAMES
    ONE DAY AT A TIME.PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOU. HAVE YOU READ ARTICLES ON SPARK ABOUT IT? JUST A THOUGHT TO TRY AND HELP.
    HUGS,CHAR
    1883 days ago
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