This is one of my "non-problem-problems" or "first world problems" if you will!
I've recently realized that in some ways I am the happiest I've ever been. Life is good. My job is great, my house is great (albeit too messy, but great)... I've been getting OUT and doing STUFF more than ever. In fact I have probably done more "fun things" this year than I have in the last 5 years combined.
I have been to Disneyland twice, and am going again next week. I went to Vegas last month and get to go back in November! I am going to Knott's Scary Farm the first time this week, and got an "unlimited pass" and will go at least 1 more time before it ends at the end of October. I just went to Universal Hollywood Horror Nights, and I have my big trip to Florida coming up very soon in November. Then of course there will be multiple visits to the zoo coming up once the weather cools down. Can you believe it's going to be 100 in October?! Talk about ridiculous!
I really have been having the time of my life! I know that I am very lucky to be able to get out and do all of these things, that I have the time to do them, people to do them with and the money to do it. I truly am blessed! Not only that, but I am blessed to be strong and healthy enough to be able to handle these activities which can be 8-10 hour days of walking. I could have never done that 2 1/2 years ago but I can do them today and that is such a great feeling! Not only that but I feel confident enough to venture out on my own. Before years end I will be attending a concert alone for the first time, and I plan to do the zoo and Disneyland alone too, yippee!
I don't want to give you the impression that it's all
's because that's not the case. I still have my moments of insecurities, I definitely have my lonely times as I am single... I get annoyed with myself that I haven't finished getting my house in order like I wanted to in September. I am annoyed with myself that I have let myself creep back into the 190's for the 4th or 5th time! I've honestly lost count... and that frustrates me. I checked out my log and at the beginning of August I hit my lowest weight EVER of 181! I claimed my 90 pound down trophy, and here I am, about 2 months later and 10 pounds heavier! I was so close to the 170's I could taste it, and now I need to get my act together just to step back into the 180's!
I also know that holiday time is my danger time! I don't know what it is about the Holidays and people wanting to feed you 24/7, but it's hard! I work in a place where there is often food around, but holiday time is just out of control. I have been on this weight loss journey over 2 1/2 years and I have experienced 2 holiday seasons. Here are my stats:
October 31 2012: 214
November 27 2012: 214
December 26 2012: 212.4
January 30 2013: 212.4
^I did a decent job of maintaining there, not as bad as I remember. But the goal was meant to be weight loss lol.
October 30 2013: 186.2
November 26 2013: 195.3
December 19 2013: 199.2
January 29 2014: 193
^That is what I remember, last year was BAD. I came dangerously close to leaving Onederland and that kicked me in the butt a little. But by the end of January I was still up 7 pounds from Halloween. All those months wasted gaining and messing around. Here I am October 1, and around my January, 2014 weight. So not cool LOL.
So that is what I worry about... I worry about going into this holiday season with already a higher weight than I should be at. If I were on track I would have hit the 170's by now. I worry about gaining 10-15 pounds during the holiday season and leaving Onederland. I think the main thing I need to do is have a reality check. I am acting like this is going to happen and I have no control over it. Just because it happened for the last two years doesn't mean it has to be repeated this year. In fact, I was surprised that in 2012 I more or less maintained my weight during the holiday season. So I need to stop acting like a gain is inevitable and work to kick this holiday seasons tushy!!
October is a new month and it's always great to have a fresh start. I need to cook up some plans and actually DO THEM this time... what a concept huh?! I'm full of ideas and planning, but I have 0 follow through.
Most importantly I want to continue to be happy, having fun, living and enjoying life! But I need to enjoy life without eating everything along the way. I need to find that balance that is going to help me lead a happy but also a HEALTHY lifestyle. October is my favorite month, so I will try to do it some justice!!