The Good, The Bad, The Fears, The Goals!
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
I don't know if this is temporary or not but the first week I felt as if I was starving. I was so use to eating till I couldn't eat anymore that simply being full felt hungry, if that makes any sense lol.
However, now I think I'm becoming very use to the feeling of being just full, or even slightly hungry. It doesn't bother me. I don't even think about food very often, but I'm not afraid of it either like I know some who are trying to lose weight do. I think I'm just discovering a healthy respect for food, which is great and will probably help loads towards my weight loss goals. Plus I've discovered with this newborn comfort I am able to easily fit in those so called "forbidden foods".
For instance today I had 1/3 cup of m&m's. I hope to someday cut down to only eating these unhealthy foods to once a week or less, but considering how new this still is I don't want to push to far or I might fall of the wagon.
Although my eating habits are improving greatly and comfortable my fitness is not going as smoothing. I'm still managing to stick to the fitness goals I have set for myself, but it is with some serious mental pushing on my part. I just hate exercising, and I have tried to find different ways to make it not so miserable, but it does no good. I hate it. I hope with time I will come to like it or at the very least accept it as part of my day in the same way I do house cleaning. (not fun, but necessary.) At least the soreness has worn off for the most part. I still feel the sore muscles when I think about it, but most of the time I barely notice. Unlike that first week when it hurt even to get out of bed.
I have decided Sunday would be my weigh in day. It will also be my day off from deliberate exercise. Seems like the best day for it. Last Sunday was my first official weight in, but to be honest I was weighing myself everyday starting Tuesday Sept. 2, which is the day I started up to Sunday. However since then I have not stepped on that scale. I think it will prove good for me to only see a larger weekly number then the small or maybe sometimes non-existent daily number lost. I am very excited for Sunday to come again, but also a bit scared. What if I didn't lose anything or worse gained, and only in my second week? I've been doing everything right and that would be a horrible blow if I happened. Possible a blow I might not be able to recover from but I guarantee I will try my very hardest. I just need to remind myself (if it happens) that doing nothing isn't going to get me anywhere either.
Also I have bought 2 pairs of pants a while back. Both size 22. One was black capris the other jeans. The black capris fit fine. The jeans didn't even fit over my thighs. I still have them though, and I'm think of trying them on again after I go past the 300lbs mark. That will be more then a 15lbs weight loss. If they don't fit I'll give it another 10-15lbs. The point is to have something else other then the scale for me to be able to confirm my weight loss efforts are working. I think when I can fit into them it will give me a huge moral booster and make me even more determined to keep pushing forward. I think as I lose more and more I'll set more goals with lower and lower size jeans. I believe it will help immensely.