September 2014: 190ISH
^It may be only a few pounds difference, but I definitely see big changes in my face comparing those 2 photos!
I have to say, I can be very fickle, with just about everything! I change my mind, my plan, my goals, everything, all the time!
But at the end of the day, there are things that I know that I want without a shadow of a doubt! I want to be healthy, happy, and I want to enjoy life. I want to reach my goal weight and learn the art of maintenance, I sure do plan on having my tummy tuck in October of 2015. Those are the things I know I want, and on any given day my thoughts are the same. But with other things I can be wishy washy.
I was realizing that where I'm at today can be viewed in two exact opposite ways! I can chose to feel down or I can chose to feel positive, and it really is a matter of perspective.
Let's start with how things would be if I chose to look at my journey with the glass 1/2 empty.
In nearly 2 1/2 years on my journey:
I have gained 10 pounds back on several occasions, then "wasted time" losing those same 10 pounds.
I have had days and even weeks of eating way off track.
I've had many times where I was a couch potato and not being as active as I should have.
The biggest "downer" is that I weigh about the same weight I was at this point last year. I have been down about 10 pounds lower, but right now I'm fighting the regain. That could totally be viewed as such a "wasted year" and could really defeat me, if I let it!
I could have been at my goal weight by now... if I didn't "slip up" so much I could have been at that weight for a while now.
Now let's take a look at the glass half full, which is how I'm choosing to look at things!
I weigh about the same as I did last year! How can this be a positive and a negative? Well I could have easily gained back 40-70 pounds in a year had a I stayed off track. But by getting back on track and working hard to be consistent, I managed to maintain (more or less) for a year. That'll come in handy down the road when I'm ready to start maintenance!
I am smaller than I was when I was 18 (I'm 28 now), and that is a great feeling!
I'm healthy! My blood work and blood pressure are fabulous!
I walked 9 miles at Disneyland, during an arthritis flare up, and still came home and walked my dog 2 miles! The icing on the cake? I wasn't in a ton of pain the next day.
Everything in the physical sense is easier. I no longer get winded walking up my 7 stairs to my bed room. Tying my shoes isn't a huge feat, and turning over in bed is no longer an Olympic Sport. Everyday life is that much easier, and I look forward to it getting even easier with the last 30 or so pounds lost.
I feel awesome... well, most of the time! I have my down days, where I'm down on myself or my body and wish it looked different or was smaller... but for the most part I am very happy with myself and my progress. I never truly believed I could do this, and I'm certainly proving myself wrong!
I know that I am in this for the long haul. I am not going anywhere, and no matter how many times I fall down, I have no doubt that I will get back up!
There are so many things that can be spun in a positive or negative direction, we just need to do our best to find the positives and go in that direction!
One of my Spark friends asked me how do I stay motivated everyday? My answer was that I don't. I wish I was always motivated, feeling awesome, and working hard, but that isn't how it has worked, at least not for me. I have bad days, weeks, regain 5-10 pounds and have to lose them all over again... but I'm consistent. I'm here, I'm trying, and even when I'm off track I am remembering why I need to get on track... and even more importantly that I WANT to get back on track. I want to be here, losing this weight and getting smaller and healthier! I don't always show that in my actions, especially when I'm having a rough week, but I always know what I need to do and I get back to it!