Thursday, August 14, 2014
This is my first blog on SparkPeople and I hope this wont be the last. I just recently restarted using SparkPeople and I am hoping to keep up my momentum as I journey towards my weight loss goals. I started using SparkPeople while I was living in Japan, teaching English to children, and living away from my husband and family. I was not only living my dreams I was learning how to be an independent adult. In some ways I've never had to be and independent adult, I've always had my mother helping me with bills, housing, and coaxing me along the path. Once I was married I also didn't have to try very hard to take care of myself because my husband could do that, he had the better paying job (most of the time), and he was given the reigns by me so that I could just sit back and be along for the ride.
I realised when I moved to Japan that it was up to me to make sure I paid rent, my cell phone bill, and had food in my fridge! What a surprise to me and what a difficult thing to do by yourself! I was lucky in some ways that I could always fall back on my mother or husband to help me if I was really stuck with money. But I realised, if I was always falling back on my safety net when things got tough I would never really stand on my own two feet, I would never really be living for myself. Now I wont say that I suddenly had this miraculous ability to budget, pay bills, and manage my money all by myself after this realization. In fact I sit here two years after the fact and I am still struggling. But, the thing is, I am actively trying NOT to just sit back and let others do things for me. I may still need help, and frankly everyone needs help, but I am still trying EVERYDAY to help MYSELF in some way. If that means resisting the urge to go and splurge on a huge stack of books today, or sticking to my grocery list when we go shopping, those are small ways I can keep walking forward next to my husband and not letting him drag me behind him.
I think it is the same thing with weight loss. I have started this journey for myself, not for my husband or my mother or anyone else, myself. Although my weight and my lifestyle and my health do affect these people and they have a profound impact on my family as a whole, this journey I am starting is on my own two feet. It's me who has to wake up in the morning and not hit snooze, it's me who makes the meals, it's me who has to take the time to exercise, and it's me who has to look in the mirror every day and tell myself "YOU CAN DO IT"!
And guess what, I CAN do it! And you CAN too!
Anyone else need help realizing they can do this on their own? Or realizing that it's okay to ask for help when you fall?