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Thursday, July 24, 2014

Two days back into Spark and I crash and burn. Fall off the wagon or whatever euphemism you choose to describe what most consider an epic failure.
For me food is my drug, my addiction, and when I am stressed, upset, anxious and even bored at times, I crave food. Not just any food, but really good comfort food. You know the kind, super high in calories and fat and oh so yummy.

So yesterday when I found out my sister-in-law passed away, I did what came naturally. I cooked and I ate, then I ate some more. White sauce chicken enchiladas, made with sour cream and jack cheese, brownies and even a slice of apple pie. I did include 2 full servings of veggies though to make me feel a bit better about all of my gluttony. It is how I cope...it is how I gained 50 lbs over the last 1 ½ year.

I have to admit that my first thought this morning was to avoid SparkPeople today, to not log in, not track what I ate yesterday, and not interact with my groups. And I knew from experience if I did that I would be stuck in my ways, still using food as a crutch and an excuse to not be successful. I also knew from experience that if I did this then tomorrow I would have similar excuses to not log in.

I think just acknowledging this is a good place to begin to start changing it. I am also not going to beat myself up too badly. This is just a minor derail and I can and will get back on track and be successful. Today, I chose to log in. I chose to track, weigh, measure and post. Today I will choose to eat better and get some structured exercise. Today I will get my Spark on.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks everyone! As some of you know I have been down this road before and that is how I gained back those 50 lbs to begin with. I ran and hid when I started having issues eating and exercising right. I am determined this time to get it right and even when I do not follow my plan, I will still keep moving forward emoticon
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    2180 days ago
    I have MISSED you! I'm sorry for your loss. You made a good choice to stay connected.

    2180 days ago
    Well done for facing your sad event head-on. So many of us have been there/done that/got the teeshirt! It happened to me the first time around and I didn't do what you have done today - I avoided things and the first day turned into two, then a week, then… well, the hard-earned weight loss went back on and then I stayed away for a good 18 months, feeling horrid, ashamed, embarrassed, missing my Friends like crazy and feeling oh so ugly and a failure … a host of emotions, you name 'em!

    Things may be sad for a while, maybe even a long time. But might your thinking be a tad skewed today? What do you think? You see, if you change your thinking and turn things around, you have actually succeeded today and NOT failed! The food glitch is just part of things, it's not the whole. The successful bit is where you faced it, blogged about it and, I'm sure, felt better about yourself as a result. Nah - this is SUCCESS, not failure. And that deserves a big 'Congrats'!

    Well done - and all the best for the days and weeks ahead.

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    2180 days ago
    Days like these will come around. I'm sorry to hear you have had a bereavement in the family and cooking is a very natural thing to do under the circumstances.
    give yourself time to grieve, you will need extra strength keeping it together.

    I know it's a lifetime commitment to Sparkpeople. Putting ourselves first for the benefit of our health isn't easy for "addicts" like us! We need each other so we can get through the hard times. We will get there!
    2180 days ago
    Don't be down on yourself. It's progress, not perfection! We have those slippery days! You're not alone so don't be alone. Stay connected and be sure and track everything. Even the things that you wish you hadn't eaten. It helps to look at it and to resolve to stay strong the next day. I had a day like that myself yesterday!
    2181 days ago
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