The Dirty, Dreaded "P" Word

I appreciate all of the encouragement and praise I've been getting from you guys. I really do. And I don't want to disappoint you, but it's time for some cold, hard truth.

In the likely event that you haven't been paying attention to my actual weight over the past bunch of blogs, here is my scary reality:

I have not lost a single pound since January.

In fact, I've been fighting since New Year's Day to achieve the same low weight from a terribly ill-advised night of partying on too little food and the ensuing epic hangover. I got to one pound over that and said "woohoo! Maintenance weight!" and promptly ate five pounds back on.

I am battling the same damn 5 or 7 pounds, endlessly. It's time to face the fact that I am on a weight loss PLATEAU. I KNOW I am not working out as hard as I should and have often been substituting normal human movement for fat-slaying exercise. And then there are the nights like last, when (after a full seven days binge-free) all hell breaks loose after my own ridiculous insistence that one 18-carb ice cream bar would really be fine. (It turned into three. And a huge portion of nuts, too).

I see fitness gains, to an extent, but no measurement changes, no clothes-fit changes, no difference in my problem areas.

Oddly, though, it is only in these past few weeks or months that people have suddenly said "hey, you look great, by the way," or "you've lost a lot of weight, haven't you?" -- So I guess I am appearing slimmer to others, somehow.

I wonder if I'm eating too much, with my trackers communicating. Then I wonder if I'm eating too little, since I generally regard the tracker as completely insane and try to come in well under its lofty numbers.


So frustrating.

I'm super positive about becoming a fit person and actually enjoying exercise, and the fact that I can get into most size 6s and a "small" blouse (the un-stretchy kind!), but this inability to make any numbers change makes me feel like screaming BLARGH!!!

Since I'm only one week back into being really SERIOUS and measuring and not missing workout days and such, I shouldn't really complain. I need to give it time and wait it out and all of that. But thanks for letting me vent