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I know the hurting's only just begun....

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Last night I started crying because I spotted the mug that our son had gotten me several years eariler for Mother's Day....It had been sitting there for some time and though I had glanced at it several times, I had forgotten what it said on the back. I must have moved it because when I sat down there and just glanced over, all I could see was what it said on the back......

On the front of the mug is a picture of our son and me....up on Mt. Magazine.....in the lobby of the lodge there and on the back in bold letters it says, "I LOVE MY MOM".......

I started crying and ended up going to the bathroom because we had company. Deep heart shredding tears....I had just realized that he will not be here with us on Mother's Day.......
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    2594 days ago
  • JILL313
    Joannie, my heart is breaking for you. . .Like Ramona said, an Angel wanted to convey a message to you from your son in Heaven that he loves you. . .Jeannie lost her son so she has some good thoughts on how hard it is. . .If you ever want to talk on the phone or e-mail me just let me know as I want so much for you to heal but I know that it will take time. . .Praying for You and your family to be comforted and know your son is happy in Heaven with his Grandparents and other loved ones. Be sure and take good care of yourself my dear friend. Lots of Hugs & Love. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2594 days ago
    I am so sorry for your loss. Sending Prayers for Strength. My heart breaks for you.
    I do believe that mug was placed for you to see that loving message.
    2594 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/6/2014 10:25:37 PM
  • no profile photo CD12915013
    Joannie, I am so sorry for your loss. I have not been in your shoes, so I can't say much other then don't lose faith. God is carrying you each step of the way. I will be praying for you and my heart goes out to you with hugs and warm and caring thoughts. emoticon
    2602 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3337633
    I am sorry for your loss. I pray for peace for you losing a child is the hardest thing ever. emoticon
    2602 days ago
  • SPEEDY143
    My heart breaks for your loss Joanie... the first year is especially hard. You will be raw for a long time and every thing you feel is normal. Tears will come at the most unexpected times and that's OK... this is a big loss emoticon I'm glad you have such wonderful memories of your dear son. He truly will be with you always emoticon
    2603 days ago
    Or, maybe, you will realize emoticon he will be with you in another way.... in time you will feel your son's presence closer to you.
    My dear, this is an act of pure faith, but, if you believe, your child will get closer to you day by day and your grief will change into joy.
    We're only humans and we must cry as much as we need to, but your tears are not the last word.
    I believe in Another Life, and your son is already part of it.
    You are in my prayers, hugs,
    2604 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/27/2014 6:30:32 AM
  • no profile photo CD13344054
    Joan, Think of your episode in other terms. Think of it as your Dear Son speaking to you from Heaven. He just wanted to tell you again how much he loves you. I don't think you moved the mug at all...I think an Angel moved it so you would get your son's message.
    emoticon emoticon
    2604 days ago
    I am so sorry for your loss. No words will ease the pain. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
    2604 days ago
    emoticon emoticon I am very sorry about your loss.
    2604 days ago
    Joanie, I am so, so sorry. emoticon
    2604 days ago
    You're in my prayers. Just know you're not alone.
    2604 days ago
    I am so sorry for your loss. I'm just learning of this. No mother should ever have to experience this. My prayers are with you. emoticon
    2604 days ago
    Sending hugs your way. You have every right to be sad. Our kids mean everything to us. emoticon
    2604 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14049861
    Sending you hugs and prayers as you go through this sorrowful time. I agree with Jeannie - you never "get over" but you do "get through," taking it one day at a time and accepting your emotions. I know I still stop and think when I see someone in a red parka because my fiance always wore one. The memories will always be with you and will comfort you.
    emoticon Sheila
    2604 days ago
    I am so sorry for you loss.
    All I know from what others always say, "It takes time."
    Time to grieve, time to put the loss in a special place in your mind and heart.
    Loss of a child never goes away. But time will easy the raw emotions that are hitting you in this present time.
    Take your time, believe in your faith.
    Tisha emoticon emoticon
    2604 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6254520
    I'm rarely at a loss for words. Usually I have something to say but after reading your blog I am at a loss. If I were with you I would simply sit with you, in silence and help bear some of the grief and pain you are feeling.

    There are no words, consoling or uplifting when we lose a child. I will hold you in my heart and I will pray for you, that God gives you the grace to persevere.

    Much Love

    2604 days ago
    sorry for your loss it never goes away pray for you
    2604 days ago
    Joannie, you will have many more of those days and times. Believe me, it does get easier, but it never goes away. Give yourself plenty of time and treat yourself kindly. It's been 20 years since we lost our son, and I still have down days, especially when it's around the anniversary of his death, birthday or special occasions. I heard something recently in a TV program of all places, but it really spoke to me. A question was asked about how you get over something like this, and the answer was that you never get over it...you just get through it. I think that describes most of us. And closure? That's a figment of someone's imagination. There is no such thing...we just learn to cope with the "new normal." Sending you may warm wishes and lots of hugs, Jeannie
    2604 days ago
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