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Afraid

Monday, April 21, 2014

Of what?
Failing again?
Getting injured again?
Putting on my running gear and finding I have to wear the larger sizes again b/c the smaller sizes I had worked my way into no longer fit?
Feeling like a fraud for thinking I can actually do it and be successful?
Or that my time was back in 2011 when I was successfully running races before injuries deflated me and I gave up, and I don't deserve to have that success again?
Or that, even though I did so well with my running and weight loss back then, that I won't be able to do it again?
Or that I will learn that I just.don't.have.what.it.takes to succeed?

I don't know what this fear gnawing at my insides is today. Maybe a little bit of all of that.

But what I DO know is that my boyfriend found a mobile app for Couch to 5k and asked me to do it with him, so I said yes.
Because I am very worried about his health as well as mine and I really miss all of the fun we had working out together.
Because I've gained back every single pound (all 30 of them) that I'd lost back when I was running, and then some.

And because I am heading into a danger zone with my weight that I have never flirted with before and it scares the heck out of me even more than all those other fears I listed.

So tomorrow I strap on my running shoes, put on my running clothes and get my fanny back out there and have some fun! :)











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