A Woman's Prerogative...
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
I'm having a blue and blah and just pretty much down day today. I'm not sure why I'm blue and feeling blah. I just am. A woman's prerogative, I suppose. We do, after all, sometimes change our moods about as often as the clock ticks... I've not been having many blue and blah days lately. My emotions have been pretty much in check and I've felt better than I have in awhile. So this comes as a bit of a shock to me.
In the past, I would have gone and got a chocolate bar or two.. and ate those in no time. Now... well, I'm not overeating...I'm trying to figure out why I'm blue and sad.. and just blah and teary.
It could be the weather. This has been one of the worse winters I remember in a very, very long time. It seems to have just lingered on forever. I used to love the cold weather. The older I get.. the more I hate the cold.
It could be work. It's ... difficult. I love my job and the responsibility that I have in it, but I hate the negativity that always is looming over some co-workers heads. I hate the bickering and constant negative remarks. Today was worse than it has been in awhile.
It could be that it's February. Lorna's birthday is this month. Today is Ben's birthday. Lorna's is the 21st and mine is the 24th. It will be the second birthday I've had without her. And that just makes me so very, very sad. I miss her. She was the bright light in my life. She was the one that made the things I did worthwhile. She was who I looked after, even more so than momma and I miss her with every breath I take. I always thought it was momma I was coming to see... always thought it was momma I was doing things for. Turns out... I was doing it for them both... and I miss Lorna more than words can say.
So I guess it's a woman's prerogative to feel a bit sad... and blue and that's how I feel today. I'm hoping my prerogative tomorrow will be a better mood.