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The Ups & Downs in a "TeddyBear's" life...

Thursday, February 06, 2014

Hello all my Sparkie friends! Hope you all are doing well?!!

So I have had a roller coaster of emotions start to February! And we are only on Day 6!!!
I ended January with my husband's birthday. Shhh, don't tell him I told you... but it was his 40th!!! He's looking great and I'm so happy he's my man!!! hee hee

This is a picture of him eating his birthday cake my younger cub (Jumping bear) made him!

On Feb. 2nd was my Grandmother's birthday. If she was still a live she would of been 95 years old. I don't look at this as a sad day, because I know she is above and happy! I know she knows we all love her too!

This was her, me, and hubby on my wedding day! She's so cute, isn't she?!!!!

Next comes to Feb. 4th! I went to my monthly Prayer Shawl Ministry meeting. I missed last month's because my sister and her family was here in state visiting still. So after the meeting was done, I was told that the lady that started the ministry had passed away the day after Christmas! This was a total shock to me. Every emotion came over me and all I focused on was I didn't want to cry in front of the ladies telling me this news. This lady was just amazing! I could not say enough good about her! She was 48 years old and I forgot the big word they used... not even sure if I heard it since I was in shock... but basically a blood clot traveled up, they think from her leg, to her heart. She was a women who exercised daily... not super skinny, but we all know that you can be healthy and not a tooth pick! Anyways, she was a mother, daughter, wife, and amazing friend! I met her when I started in this ministry about 2 years ago. She helped me learn new knitting techniques and was always so loving and warm. You could meet her one minute and feel like you have been friends forever! She LOVED her two children and was always there for them. Her son was recently beaten up at his college due to asking some kids to leave a private party. The KIDS were there to fight. No matter what he said they would of hurt someone. Sadly it was him. He got a big blow to the back of his head and had to learn how to do some stuff again and lost his taste & smell! But she was so proud of him protecting others these guys went after (girls too) and she was proud of her son who now had no taste or smell (possibly could come back) but continued to keep pushing to live his life and not get him down. Her daughter who is in college to do physical therapy, also is an amazing artist. She has won many awards and sold lots of her painting, but just does it for the joy, not as a career. She always talked about what wonderful children she had and was very strong in her faith and left her life in God's hands! I think that is why her family is taking this all very well. I really could go on and on about her.

This is a picture of her and her husband.

So anyways, back to that night I found out...
Her Mother is also in our Prayer Shawl Ministry and was there the other night. She looked out of it, but I knew at the December meeting that she went for test because they thought something was wrong with HER heart! All was fine. But I thought she looked tired, but didn't think much of it. Also didn't think much of my friend not being there because she sometimes would miss the meetings due to this or that. I know God was with me... or my angel... because I would say 4 times during that evening I went to ask her Mom why she wasn't here?!! Something always stopped me! I can't image what that would of been like...eeekkk! As for everyone else, the other lady who runs the meeting, had contacted them, or told them at the January meeting. She forgot about me. Thinking back now too, my cubs are often asked to serve at funerals, and was asked to serve at hers. We never know who's it is, till they are there. Well that day was New Year's Eve and we had plans with friend... their daughter's birthday party, so my cubs had to say no. I wish so much they were there... but then it wouldn't of mattered because I would of found out after, and that would of been to late.

So why has this effected me so much...
Maybe because she was young, a friend, an amazing woman & mother... someone I looked up to?!! Maybe because it's a reminder we never know what tomorrow holds?!!? Or the fact I didn't know till now! Because I didn't get to say my sorry's to her family?!?? Most likely all of these and more reasons! I have cried, and cried, and then cried some more. And now I'm ready to move on and remember her! If I can be just one bit as good as a Mommy, wife, daughter, and friend as she was, then I am ready for whatever tomorrow holds too!

I said this in a card to her Mother... "she was an angel here on earth, and now God was calling her home." I trust God has a plan for us all and we may never know why our friends and family leave us to early like this, but we have to trust in him... and I do!

Thank-you God for bringing her into my life and blessing me with her friendship! God bless her!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Okay, so now to today. Happier news now... hee hee...
I started mid-December after having a heart to heart with my sister, on eating and being healthy! I was what you could say "a fair weather" eating healthier and exercising person. I would try, and fail. Try again, and fail again. Every time my TOM would come around, and excitement I had to seriously do this... I would loose it then! Just not fun!

I also had a husband who was the same way. He would get it in his head and go crazy for 2 weeks. All he focused on was exercising and TRYING to eat healthier! Then back to old ways.

Well this time, something FINALLY Clicked! My sister (and her husband) who had lost LOTS of weigh here on SP in a year and a half, was now asking me... not to be mean... why was it that I told HER about SP years ago and I haven't gotten any wheres. To be honest, I went backwards and lost and then gained more! I didn't know the answer to this, but did now I had something in me changing and I wanted to make 2014 my year! Sitting across the table from her I started to see a healthier, and slimmer ME! Guess what, I LIKED that me! I'm a fan of Biggest Loser (the TV show) and love at the end when you see their first day there and then now! I want that!!! And I will have that! I'm now twenty-four days into this and still doing great!

My family joined Planet Fitness and hubby and I have been going at least 3 days... but more... a week! HAY, my last two times there I did that elliptical machine! I joined PF, tried it and hated it and said I won't be doing that!!! Last night as I was doing it, I thought, it's not too bad... hee hee.

I have watched the scale go down... moved into the 100's!!! And for the 1st time I exercised DURING my TOM (if you know me, you know that's something big for me!). I'm doing the 5% challenge and I weigh in on Friday... tomorrow! My first weight in I went into the 100's, the second, had my period, but stayed close, so this is my 3rd and I hope to be MORE into the 100's!

NOW THE GOOD NEWS (well for me... hee hee) This morning I went to get dressed and I went TWO more holes with my belt... two more getting smaller/inward! Little things, but those are what help me to say NO to that ice cream and pick that orange, have salad and veggie sandwiches instead of just chips or ice cream for lunch, and helping me to make our favorite meals for dinner, healthier and pick better meals for my whole family!

So belt, keep getting tighter, pants get looser, face slimmer, energy levels going up and making me this happier, healthier, Mommy & wife!

Day 7 of this month... I'm ready for you!!! Good or bad, I'll keep moving forward!!!
God bless.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • 68ANNE
    I hope you know how appreciated you were. Sorry for your loss.
    2654 days ago
    Wow, how shocking and sad for you. I'm am so sorry for your loss and pain. Your blog was a beautiful tribute to a wonderful caring friend and person. It is so difficult to lose amazing people so young, and I don't understand it but I know that God's plan is bigger and that he knows how everything fits together in his plan. I'm sorry for your hurting heart. Yes it's a good reminder we don't know what a day will bring. I enjoyed all your pictures!!!

    emoticon Margaret
    2655 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12629461
    emoticon I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.
    2655 days ago
    I am sorry to hear about Claudette, but you were blessed to have had her in your life.
    Auntie Cyndie

    Other than that, I am very excited for you. I truly believe that 2014 is going to be our year!
    2656 days ago
    So sorry about your friend. I just found out a dear friend of mine passed away and she was also only 40 with two young sons. It is always a shock. emoticon
    2656 days ago
    I sense some guilt in you for not knowing about your dear friend's death. Think about that logically. You didn't know. You didn't know, period. No one expects a person to be clairvoyant and know things that were not told to them. It is NEVER too late to give your sympathies to a family. And, you know, I know this from experience. You simply tell the husband, daughter, son, mother, that you didn't know. Tell them what their wife, mother, daughter meant to you. How special you thought she was. It means alot to us to know how much people cared about our loved one. It means alot to hear how our loved one touched other lives. And, never, ever, ever try to hold back tears! Especially with women. But, not ever. Another thing to remember is that most of the time we want to talk about our loved one, our mothers, our sisters, our brothers, our grandparents.... People feel that avoidign that person's name is a way of protecting the family. It is not. We want to hear your stories. You can't make us any sadder by mentioning a name. In fact, you may bring some joy. Now, as for you.... I am so, so very proud of you! I am proud of you for exercising during your TOM, for sticking to your plans, for doing that elliptical! You go Girl, you go! Keep up the great work!
    2656 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14188335
    what a lovely blog you wrote. love pictures that tell stories. the tribute to your friend was very sweet. we often times don't know who much we have until we lose that. your ministry of the prayer shawl ministry sounds really interesting. I have been wanting to develop a stronger prayer life. as prayer is one of the purposes God has for me and to draw closer to him. I am definitely interested in hearing more about the ministry you are doing. your husband looks like he had a nice time on his birthday. I am glad he is your man too:) I don't have one yet but I do have a best guy friend I think a lot of. who is a blessing in my life. the one friend who has always stood by me.
    I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. I grew up without grandparents so I never had any. I always wondered what it would have been like to have them. that was something I missed out on.
    2657 days ago
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