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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Today I am on Day 6 of The Mental Toughness Training - and I had been thinking about something that happened at the grocery store the other day. I was browsing in the meat department and there was a little boy about 4 years old with his Grandma and he was quite precocious, talking to all the people who passed by. His Grandma seemed to be ignoring him as much as she could - and so he started engaging the butcher in a conversation. As I passed by, I kind of thought to myself what kind of person he would grow up to be. Then his Grandma moved down the aisle a bit and all of a sudden I was in between this little guy and Grandma. Well, he became a little bit scared and said to me, you are in the wrong place. The meat manager told him, it's ok, Grandma is just down there. So I said, here, let me move, I don't want to be between you and your Grandma. That is when the truth spouted out of his mouth. -- He said, "You are too fat. I can't see my Grandma".

Well, at first I was a little shocked because I haven't heard this said to me in a long time. But then I thought about it from the perspective of a young child. He was right. I was too big for him to see around and the reason was correct. I was too big because of my being fat. Small kids don't have the finesse to keep things like that inside. They haven't learned that it isn't acceptable to say things that might be hurtful. I could see the shocked look on the face of the butcher. So I just moved along - and let it pass, thinking how much these sort of things had emotionally hurt me so much in the past.

But I really saw this as the universe bringing me another lesson on how to use this as a mental toughness lesson. I can take all the emotion out of the word fat and accept it as a truth. I am "fat" - in fact - I am "obese". It doesn't make me a bad person. It is just how my body is at this time.
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    In this day and age, frankly, I am surprised the Grandma wasn't more closely watching that young boy. Now for sure what he said is hurtful, bottom line, but as you say, kids that age do not have the capability to hold thoughts inside, no matter what they are.

    I am glad you could "write it off" but I still wonder where that Grandma's head was at not supervising the little boy closer!
    2472 days ago
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    2472 days ago
  • _BABE_
    Sure we need to be mentally tough but who needs comments from the peanut gallery? Does the average size man or woman have to hear their shortcomings broadcasted for the world to hear? I doubt it. Who is going to tell some bald guy he doesn't have hair? My apologies to any bald men out there but I am just trying to prove a point.

    Kudos to you for reframing the experience and taking it all in stride. You are pretty special!

    2472 days ago
    That is why children terrify me. Such potent ability to say things that cut me to the core, with almost no ability to control of it.
    2472 days ago
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    emoticon emoticon yes, they don't *know* the impact, they *know* what they experience and first that is literal, right? what color, shape, size? I remember when my darling itty bitty nephew put his hand on my chest and asked me why I was? We had that moment that there are tall & short, red & blondes, some with glasses, some not talk... that all people are equally lovable... and deserving of the same respect... a lesson society needs in the worst way. True we are, we know it, and we're working on it for the right reasons, so we will be healthier... that's ok...

    Just to repeat, because I know you *know* this, but You, sweetheart, are not less because of it... and the difference between kidlets and us as adults, are we are supposed to be able to work our way through these things with understanding & reasoning... to that I say beware the gut ache/shock and emotional hangover... It will dissipate, and our rational reasons for doing what and why we are doing will continue to govern.... even though we have never met, the qualities I love in you is your love and kindness with others, your sense of humor, your thoughtfulness and your willingness to share the journey... I am so glad we've met... you have left footprints on my heart... and we will always be friends! (hugs :)
    2472 days ago
    2472 days ago
    I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you were able to let it slide for what it was. I'm sure his grandmother would have been mortified if she'd heard him. If she did, she probably talked to him about how things we say can be hurtful to others. You are a good person!
    2472 days ago
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