Saturday, January 04, 2014
but not too gentle. I logged into Spark tonight looking for some motivation. Since signing up at Spark, I lost over 50#, slow and steady, helped by logging in and participating in challenges, giving and getting support.. in fact I had gained such confidence by cleaning up my lifestyle, I went back to college!, and with the change in schedule, I quit logging my food and quit logging into Spark. I kept working out but completely gave up any restraint of appetite. And not surprisingly, I regained 20 lbs, most of it in the past year. I know Spark helps me, and back I came.
It's been 6 years. Something about that is a bit scary.
I will finish my undergrad degree in May, assuming all goes well. I am one of, if not the oldest in the class. I have heard more than once, outside school, non-students of my age bracket declare they are just too old to go back to school, and I reply with..."in 5 years you're going to be ** years old, you can be ** with your degree or ** without, but either way, you'll be **."
So when I saw that I have been on Spark for 6 years, and that I have not obtained my weight loss goals, all kinds of negative, self-critical thoughts crept into my brain. But basically, I've talked myself back from that negative space...I will be 45 this year, I can be 45 having lost some weight and gained some health, or 45 without having lost some weight or gaining some health.
Just needed a strong message delivered via a gentle reminder.