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Weight Loss, Insecurity, and Men

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

So I have lost 50 lbs. YAY! The problem lies in that I think I felt more secure when I was heavier. When I weighed more I felt I could be myself. I was loud, funny, outgoing, etc. The weight loss is something that everyone I see is starting to notice. You would think that would be a good thing but I find myself so uncomfortable with it.

Let's start with men. I have guys in my life that I have known as acquaintances from places that I regularly visit. They didn't talk to me much and most of them did not even seem to know my name. I have noticed a lot of changes in that as I lose weight. When I go to the bar they are trying to find me a chair or give me a hug. They are calling me by name and I didn't even know they knew it. They are directly hitting on me.

I also have strangers that I do not know regularly hitting on. I get high fives when I just walk through the bar. I have guys holding doors for me. You would think that you lose weight to get this attention but I did not. I lost weight to be healthier. Now don't get me wrong, I was hit on regularly when I was bigger but now it seems like multiple times throughout every day.

This whole situation has made very insecure in myself. I feel like I am being noticed and not for my bubbly personality. I have always loved my personality and now it seems to be taking a back seat to looks. I still look in the mirror and see myself as 50 lbs heavier. I know it takes awhile for the brain to catch up to the physical.

The whole thing has a once very confident woman becoming a more quiet insecure girl. I hope my brain catches up soon. I really don't like all the extra attention. Ugh.

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  • no profile photo CD1631054
    This is a constant issue for me. But the Grace of God protects me and gets me through it. Plus my DH is there to growl others away lol...

    You are beautiful, you've always been beautiful, people are just getting to see how amazing you are . I honestly don't think the attention will ever go away, I know you will just continue to be the beauty that you are and others just have to deal with it.

    Well done!

    Edited to insert: emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    2731 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/25/2013 6:11:40 PM
    I know exactly what you mean! It's so weird. So weird. It also makes me wonder if they would have given me the time of day at the beginning of my journey. I don't think so.

    Also, I have discovered in me a weight that I swear doubles the people who check me out/notice me- this happens at about 180 lbs. I swear they come out of the woodwork at that weight, more so than the steady progression before.
    2731 days ago
    I would take it was a compliment and not let it derail the progress you have made. I have a hard time with the attention I get when I lose weight because my marriage is often unstable and unwanted attention from other men seems to make that MUCH worse for both my husband and I. I once told him I was afraid to be thin because I am not happy in this situation...it's still true.
    2736 days ago
    I think your inner self will catch up with the improving outer self.

    GIve it time and then that merger will alow the shine to ShINE and you can confidently pick and chose who to return the attention too!
    2736 days ago
    I felt the same way!! It takes time to feel comfortable in your "new" skin...just keep being you!!
    PS...Congrats on the weight loss!!
    2736 days ago
  • SISSY_24
    I know where you're coming from! I was content not being the center of attention, now days It seams like everyones eyes are on me. I'm not very comfortable with this. I hope that people understand I'm still ME! Just a little smaller!
    2736 days ago
    when I started to lose weight, I couldn't stand people's eyes on me. I know the feeling you have.
    2736 days ago
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