BACK WHERE I ORIGINALLY STARTED :(
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Sadly, I am right back where I started. I don’t dare climb on the scale, but just by looking at my reflection in the mirror, I am going to say I am right back up at 230 pounds.
But this is not the reason for my post today. I want to vent, or just release some of these thoughts in my head.
So yesterday, I’m undressing to get ready for bed, alone in my bedroom, I shout out…”oh my god I am fat”, because I was eye balling my stomach in the mirror (I am sure I am not the only one here that’s done that) and from the other room my husband chimes in, “well you’re the only one who can change that”, “yes of course I know this is true” I reply, and it ended there…Well then I started thinking about doing that “Shakology” stuff, but realized how expensive it is just for a powder drink mix which I will end up NOT using because I cannot stand to drink my meals.
Anyways, today I’m working and my husband begins texting me “hey I need to talk about something”, “okay, what is it” I reply….”I’m not trying to sound rude, but I notice a very noticeable change in you, you’re getting bigger, and I don’t want to wait until you really, really big before I am honest with you”…Of course no woman likes to hear these things from anyone much less their husband, but I am trying to understand he only cares about me, my health and the way I look as his wife, but it’s still hard for some reason.
So I have to try, try again at this weight loss thing. Starting ALL over again, since I’ve gained back any weight I had lost.
But here is my true frustration….I work full time (40 hours per-week), I am a full time Mommy of two daughters (9yrs & 3 yrs), I am a full time student (online courses) but I take two courses per-month, so I have to work on assignments all week for both courses, and I have to clean the house, cook dinner, do laundry, help oldest daughter with homework, make sure the kids take their shower, etc…HOW IN THE WORLD DO I FIT IN AT LEAST A 30 MINUTE WALK PER-DAY and will this 30 minute walk even benefit me weight loss wise?
I have tried EVERYTHING in the past to lose weight and I have been very unsuccessful, I just don’t understand WHAT I need to do.
Okay, I feel better now, I released some of those thoughts!!!
Have a great week!