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Had a Rough Weekend

Monday, October 21, 2013

My hubby is currently in Texas, and the rest of us are moving back there in a couple of months. He has been visiting for a long weekend.

Because he isn't here all the time, he isn't totally familiar with my food and fitness routines.

On Friday, I had to work at my second job in the evening. On those days, I usually eat a late lunch around 2 in the afternoon, and then I eat dinner when I get home between 9:30 and 10. He didn't know this and in an effort to be sweet, he fixed dinner for me at 5:00 so I could eat before I headed to work but I was still full from my late lunch. He really got his feelings hurt that I wouldn't eat, even though I promised I would eat when I arrived home later. He got over it, but I find it very stressful when he gets his feelings hurt like that (he can be very sensitive). Also, it was upsetting to me that he wouldn't understand that I was listening to my body and not eating when I'm not hungry.

Then Saturday night he fixed dinner. Steak, green beans, mashed potatoes. He knew I wasn't going to eat the potatoes, but he usually makes really good green beans so I heaped a pile onto my plate. I took one bite and said "Why are these green beans sweet?" He said, "I put sugar in them to make them taste good." UGH. "Honey, I can't eat that, I don't eat sugar." He said "well it was just a little" and then "you really aren't going to eat them?" Really, I'm not going to eat them just to make you happy. I. DON'T. EAT. SUGAR.

I tried to explain how even a small amount of sugar is a trigger and could put me back on a cycle of carb cravings. Every once in a while I do plan for something sweet but really, I find that I am much happier without it.

I think he is feeling insecure as I approach the 100 pounds lost point (9 pounds away).

On top of all that, we are very close to the point of putting my dog Lucy to sleep. I love her so very much, and I know she is suffering. We are giving her as much pain medicine as she can tolerate to try to make her comfortable, but she can no longer walk or stand and the pain medicine isn't always enough. It is so hard to know if it is time or if she can hang on with us a little longer. I also know that despite my own grief, I will have to comfort my children who don't remember life without Lucy.

Last night i was feeling particularly down about Lucy so I decided to go for a short run. I only went out for 15 minutes, but that really helped. I am also proud of myself for using exercise instead of food as comfort.

I cooked dinner last night and will be doing so tonight, so that will really help me keep my carbs under control around my hubby. I know that I have strength now to keep on the right path even when the going gets rough.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Christina, I was thinking about this and you know, it seems it is a simple case of you guys getting out of sync because you have not been together most days of each week for a while. We take care of ourselves and adjust to those in our lives. So you drifted towards your patterns, maybe even shifting some patterns to things that worked better for you, and he did the same (shifting to his patterns and ones that worked better for him, like adding sugar to get his veggies in). And the patterns clashed when you guys got back together.
    It is almost like when first dating/living together and learning about each other and adjusting to each other all over again but hopefully on a smaller scale - a reminder of the other person's patterns and readjusting rather than learning from scratch and figuring out a common ground. Oh and on top of the stress of living apart, moving to another state, and your regular daily stress (work, taking care of the household, etc.).
    Knowing this is going on would change how you guys work with each other (more asking questions instead of just doing). Things will work out.
    2829 days ago
    You have a lot go on with family, 2 jobs, a future move and maintaining a healthier lifestyle. Sorry to hear about Lucy, I know how hard it must be. I am cheering you on as you reach the 100 mark.
    2835 days ago
    That's so hard, but it sounds like you handled it well. I'm sorry to hear about your dog. They are such great companions. Keep pushing. You are so close to the 100 lb celebration dance!!! WOOHOOO!!
    2837 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10954048

    I have similar conversations with my husband.

    Sorry to hear about your pup.
    2837 days ago
  • KMW987
    I can relate with the hubs situation. Its so frustrating to argue about food, especially when it's hard enough to fight the cravings on your own - without the guilt trip. Congrats on standing your ground!

    I've found it so helpful to go for a walk when stressed out, as opposed to going to comfort foods. It's amazing how much better you feel afterwards!

    & I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. I can't even imagine how hard it must be.

    2837 days ago
    Ugh. I feel your pain. My DH is almost obsessed with making meats sweeter. It's BBQ on pork, syrup on ham, ketchup on beef. *sigh* I once sighed so loudly when I tasted one of his creations that he actually got angry. And I'm, like, "Um, can you just SALT meat once in a while?"

    He too got over it, but cooking in our house is still a bit of a battleground, for various reasons.
    2837 days ago
    Sorry that you had a rough weekend, but great job on sticking to your plan. I have never heard of putting sugar on green beans, so I don't think I would have been able to eat them either.

    Also sorry to hear about your dog. I know they can become like one of our own children and it is really hard on everyone when we have to make the decision of putting them down. I worried about my own puppy because of how much he had been sleeping from last night into today, but he seems to be perky up some now. I hope your dog can hold on for a little longer!
    2837 days ago
    So sorry that you had a rough weekend. I'm so proud of you for turning to exercise instead of food to handle your stress!

    It does sound like your hubby was trying to be helpful and I agree that a discussion with him about your new eating and exercise habits will be helpful for him to understand what is actually helpful to you.

    You are doing great! Keep up what you're doing. I'm cheering you on as you cross that line to Onederland!!!

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    2838 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13928790
    relationships are messy :o)
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    2838 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8040942
    So proud of you for sticking with your plan and for going for your run! It sounds like your hubby is trying to be helpful since you are working two jobs, but he just doesn't know how. And, you are right, he may be insecure about how he fits into your new life as a thin person. So sorry to hear about Lucy. I have been there more times than I care to count, and it never gets easier. emoticon
    2838 days ago
    I'm so sorry about all you are going through. I think just a good, long talk with DH about your new habits will ease the situation.

    Maybe once he understands how serious this is for you and what you like to eat, he can be on board planning meals with you once you all move.

    I can't imagine what it will be like when our dog's time comes. I'm sending you HUGE, GIANT virtual hugs!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2838 days ago
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